RocketQueen

This has been brewing (pardon the pun) for a week now, and I am about ready to explode. I have no support system around me and feel so alone and helpless. I mean, I have people around me, but they don't understand what I'm going through right now and are beating me down even more by calling me names and making me feel so guilty for feeling the way I do. I know that sounds really clichéd, but I really am scared for myself. Every day seems to be getting worse and worse and despite my desperate attempts to get out of this hole, I just seem to be sinking further and further.

I literally have nowhere to turn.

kat1973

Hi RocketQueen,

Now that really isn't nice. They should not be calling you names and beating you down for how you feel!

I know what it's like to go it alone and be told "hurry it up and get over it!"

We're here if you want to vent.

Peace xo

Mountainmanbob

we would like to offer our help and friendship to you

friends are ones who only -- lift each other up

have a blessed day
from
Mountainman

RocketQueen

Thank you. It's not even a case of "hurry it up and get over it", because that would mean accepting that I actually do feel like this. It's more a case of "you're being stupid". The person I'm referring to is my own mother. Go figure huh.

Mountainmanbob

I know the pain
although I have forgiven my mom (it's been a battle at times)
I hate to say this about her
but
sometimes she is just darn right mean
I will not repeat some of the things that she has done to me
it's embarrassing (and I didn't even do anything)
yes - I know the pain that a mother can put on one of her children
I feel for you RocketQueen
and although not easy
you will be able to deal with this in time
until then please pray for help and guidance in the dealings with your mom

seek out friends here who understand

Mountainman

kat1973

Yeh RQ I've been told the same from my mum. She has become impatient with me at times of really serious emotional distress and it's very hurtful. She also keeps telling me that I care too much about my cat, she's a burden and to give her away. That hurts me so much as I love that cat with all my life.

Makes me crazy!

RocketQueen

I'm sorry to hear about your mum MMB. I really wish I was able to forgive and move on. Unfortunately for me she is right under my nose 24/7. Always watching. Always judging. Always accusing. Always waiting for me to build up just so she can knock me down again. I can't get away from it, and I most certainly can't comprehend it enough to forgive. I have a daughter of my own. She is 3 right now, but I cannot ever imagine kicking her while she is down.

RocketQueen

I get the same thing, but replace the word "cat" with the word "daughter"

Mountainmanbob

one of my fears has been
not to pass this down to my children
although that is the last thing that an abused one would wish to do
at times we may see our mothers character defects
playing out in us

I fight that with the help of God
breaks my heart at times

might be called a family cruse
but
with healthy practice these things can be overcome

Mountainman

RocketQueen

This happens a lot. I do see lot of my mother in myself. That's depressing enough in itself without all the other crap I have to deal with thrown on top.

Mountainmanbob

we acknowledge the problem
and we are determined to stop the pattern
we will not pass this on to our children
these things can be broken with the help of and trust in God

for yourself and your children you can do this
I'm sorry to say that it is not one of those things
that will happen overnight
but - you are doing the right thing
seeking help
there are many here to support you

Mountainman

KateL

My mother was a pain in the arse. Don't let her get you down xxxxx

PlasticInsanity

My dad can be hard to deal with sometimes. Last year in August, I was ready to jump off the bridge again. My dad made a comment along the lines of, "**** everyone's pissing me off; maybe I should just go jump off the bridge!" I was still staying in the crisis center at that time, and I think shortly after he said that I had to go back since I was so upset.

It's tough for people who aren't depressed to understand what depression is like.

AAnoob

long time depression suffer here,

went to my first AA meeting last month,
good place for some support or at least not being isolated.

enjoyed it much more than a depression support group I went to a long time ago.