Class of January 2014 Part 4
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Class of January 2014 Part 4
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 23
The last couple of months have been hellish for me. I have never been this down. I have been drinking more than I ever have before. I have to thank the Harm-Reduction (HAMSnetwork.org) approach for keeping me out of any serious trouble. I took the recommended steps of eliminating the biggest risks associated with being drunk. However, in spite of the the fact that I was drink in a safer way (not driving for example) I can literally feel my physical, emotional, and mental health fall away.
So here I am. I have no interest in moderate drinking and I don't believe it is even possible.
Harm-reduction will prolong the process of killing myself, but the end result will be the same, just maybe 20 years later. The only other choice is to quit completely. I did not want it to come to this, but here it is.
So here I am. I have no interest in moderate drinking and I don't believe it is even possible.
Harm-reduction will prolong the process of killing myself, but the end result will be the same, just maybe 20 years later. The only other choice is to quit completely. I did not want it to come to this, but here it is.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 643
Originally Posted by sammy1974 
So here I am. I have no interest in moderate drinking and I don't believe it is even possible.
Harm-reduction will prolong the process of killing myself, but the end result will be the same, just maybe 20 years later. The only other choice is to quit completely. I did not want it to come to this, but here it is.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 103
Well, Im back. Day 3.
I was bad, very bad. But I have a clearer head now and I'm ready to start again. Have to keep the shameful thoughts about going back to it out of my head. A craving has since passed. Im doing ok. About to cook some homemade soup to keep me occupied. Just wanted to say hello again and Im back. Its a good thing.
I was bad, very bad. But I have a clearer head now and I'm ready to start again. Have to keep the shameful thoughts about going back to it out of my head. A craving has since passed. Im doing ok. About to cook some homemade soup to keep me occupied. Just wanted to say hello again and Im back. Its a good thing.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by Sonrisa12
Hummm… have I learned from it…. Well, this isn't the first time I have slipped. So I guess I am relearning it each time, yes? But Im taking it day by day and that is the best anyone can do.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Hi guys, Day 9 here. I am down with a quite bad cold, but went to work today regardless and had some really great interactions with colleagues. Decided to stay home tomorrow and work on some work-related writings. So interesting, because I usually hate to be sick but this one (I even have a fever, just took ibuprofen for it and the mild muscle aches) feels so much easier / better than most of the hangovers! 
Welcomes and congrats to everyone who's holding
Welcomes and congrats to everyone who's holding
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Day 21 ending here, starting week 4 tomorrow. Like many of you, I am now shifting focus to shedding some weight. Today was the 3rd day of walking on my lunch break, journaling what I am eating, and improving my overall diet. Hopefully, drastically reducing carbs will help.
Welcome to all the newbies and congratulations to everyone completing week one and two!
Artic, hang in there and don't hesitate to do whatever is in YOUR BEST INTEREST in getting rid of the uninvited package from your SIL. Even if it means putting them in a bag and whacking it with a hammer!
Welcome to all the newbies and congratulations to everyone completing week one and two!
Artic, hang in there and don't hesitate to do whatever is in YOUR BEST INTEREST in getting rid of the uninvited package from your SIL. Even if it means putting them in a bag and whacking it with a hammer!
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Ending day 16. Today a colleague was commiserating with me about the frantic pace of work and he said, "well there's always alcohol". And I just said, "not for me - I don't drink." It felt GREAT to say that. No big deal, matter of fact. He didn't blink, just said, "ok, then chocolate."
On my commute, I've been listening to the audio of Caroline Knapp's Drinking a Love Story, and she talks a LOT in the early part of the book about the lure of drinking for an alcoholic. The seeming magic it weaves - they way it builds a bridge from who we are to who we wish we were. She actually kind of goes on and on and on about the seeming miracle of the liquid cure for, well, everything, while it works. I read this book years ago during another attempt to quit and I remember it resonating so strongly with me. This time I'm almost a little bored at this part of the book and I realized that my drinking the last few years really did cross over into pure dependency. It wasn't working for me anymore. I felt more like a hostage. I wasn't even kidding myself anymore. The last six months particularly I felt such a desperation and despair. I think that is helping me this time - that I have crossed over to where there is absolutely no romance in a bottle anymore. I don't consider it a former lover or anything like that. I consider it the worst kind of cage that I'm simply glad to be free of. Glad is an understatement.
So whether it's day one or day 16, it's one more day away from the cage, one day closer to really being free.
Good work everyone. Arctic - glad you dumped the wine.
On my commute, I've been listening to the audio of Caroline Knapp's Drinking a Love Story, and she talks a LOT in the early part of the book about the lure of drinking for an alcoholic. The seeming magic it weaves - they way it builds a bridge from who we are to who we wish we were. She actually kind of goes on and on and on about the seeming miracle of the liquid cure for, well, everything, while it works. I read this book years ago during another attempt to quit and I remember it resonating so strongly with me. This time I'm almost a little bored at this part of the book and I realized that my drinking the last few years really did cross over into pure dependency. It wasn't working for me anymore. I felt more like a hostage. I wasn't even kidding myself anymore. The last six months particularly I felt such a desperation and despair. I think that is helping me this time - that I have crossed over to where there is absolutely no romance in a bottle anymore. I don't consider it a former lover or anything like that. I consider it the worst kind of cage that I'm simply glad to be free of. Glad is an understatement.
So whether it's day one or day 16, it's one more day away from the cage, one day closer to really being free.
Good work everyone. Arctic - glad you dumped the wine.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 178
Also the end of day 16, and it was much easier than I thought it would be. My daughter didn't push any of my buttons (nor I hers), I bought a few things for myself, and I had a book club meeting this evening. All in all, it felt pretty good. I seem to have a lot more confidence than I did just a few weeks ago, and I think that has to do with keeping promises to myself. Very, very tired still, but I wonder if it's more mental than physical strain. We've had to change a number of things about ourselves to stay sober these past few weeks.
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