Class of September 2013 - Part 16
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Class of September 2013 - Part 16
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
congrats on 4 weeks 1step 
I agree with Kane UI - if it's messing with you, try not to focus on the days so much - just keep racking them up
new holiday traditions sound great guys!
I'm going to be on at different times for a while - my complex is being renovated - lots of upheaval and noise - should get here daily tho
D
I agree with Kane UI - if it's messing with you, try not to focus on the days so much - just keep racking them up
new holiday traditions sound great guys!
I'm going to be on at different times for a while - my complex is being renovated - lots of upheaval and noise - should get here daily tho
D
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 567
I been thinking a lot about my all or nothing personality since 1stepup posted yesterday wow this class has really helped me take a look at who i am.
Lo carb diet to my addict brain translates just eat protein and nothing else yep been there
Excercise means swim three miles a week walk 10miles a week gym twice a week and Excercise Dvds. Yes been there it was all I thought about until I exhausted myself lol.
Neither are healthy in reality now I can see they where just ways of numbing feelings and shutting out things happening around me. I had to stick to the routine it was like a compulsion. I got anxious if I didn't.
So i can safely say I need to work on having a balance in my life.
Lo carb diet to my addict brain translates just eat protein and nothing else yep been there
Excercise means swim three miles a week walk 10miles a week gym twice a week and Excercise Dvds. Yes been there it was all I thought about until I exhausted myself lol.
Neither are healthy in reality now I can see they where just ways of numbing feelings and shutting out things happening around me. I had to stick to the routine it was like a compulsion. I got anxious if I didn't.
So i can safely say I need to work on having a balance in my life.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Im with you Talia, I got off the drink last year for about 6weeks but got completely obsessed with doing my weights regime, to the point id calculate exactly how much protein I was eating daily, if I got ill and couldn't train id be low and feel like drinking- I cant seem to moderate in anything I do. I know its a lot healthier than drinking and everyone could see the results in my appearance- inside my head though I was on edge and obsessed with sticking to a set routine.
This time around at least im aware of it, im also hitting the aa meetings every day- (another of my all or nothing traits Talia!), a lot of my drinking was definitely to 'slow down' my brains compulsions, when I did drink it was the only thing my brain thought of and so in a way switched off other thoughts.
This time around at least im aware of it, im also hitting the aa meetings every day- (another of my all or nothing traits Talia!), a lot of my drinking was definitely to 'slow down' my brains compulsions, when I did drink it was the only thing my brain thought of and so in a way switched off other thoughts.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
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Yeah, I also go on "kicks." I get really into a way of cooking and eating, or a new diet trend(not fad diet, but whole way of eating for health). But then I slip with those things too! Staying rigdily on course is difficult for ma in all areas. I need to be very regimented and in a routine, or it all goes out the window. The chaos of child rearing threw me in a big way, as did adjusting to living with someone, when I married my husband. Though I had briefly lived with someone before, but he had moved into my space, so I was in conotrol.
Really, I am uncomfortale with not being in control, though I have let a lot of that go in life. It still troubles me, however. My messy house makes my brain messy and that sort of stuff. Living with 2 kids and another(stubborn) adult, do not make for order and control, lol.
Really, I am uncomfortale with not being in control, though I have let a lot of that go in life. It still troubles me, however. My messy house makes my brain messy and that sort of stuff. Living with 2 kids and another(stubborn) adult, do not make for order and control, lol.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Originally Posted by FishnHippy 
These crazy dreams need to stop or I will end up in rubber room. My dead brother came to me in my dream last night and I told him I was an alcoholic .
Sorry for the loss of your brother. Were you close?
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Originally Posted by rochele
Fish, not sure, but that does not sound like a crazy dream. Sounds like your sunconcious coming to grips with it.
Sorry for the loss of your brother. Were you close?
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Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Originally Posted by rochele
Yeah, I also go on "kicks." I get really into a way of cooking and eating, or a new diet trend(not fad diet, but whole way of eating for health). But then I slip with those things too! Staying rigdily on course is difficult for ma in all areas. I need to be very regimented and in a routine, or it all goes out the window. The chaos of child rearing threw me in a big way, as did adjusting to living with someone, when I married my husband. Though I had briefly lived with someone before, but he had moved into my space, so I was in conotrol.
Really, I am uncomfortale with not being in control, though I have let a lot of that go in life. It still troubles me, however. My messy house makes my brain messy and that sort of stuff. Living with 2 kids and another(stubborn) adult, do not make for order and control, lol.
Really, I am uncomfortale with not being in control, though I have let a lot of that go in life. It still troubles me, however. My messy house makes my brain messy and that sort of stuff. Living with 2 kids and another(stubborn) adult, do not make for order and control, lol.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
I think I am getting there, mentally, EQ. But actually, what I am realizing moreso, is how losing one piece of control puts me in a spiral of disorganization and stresses me out.
I don't think latching onto control is a healthy way to manage being sober. I think personally, I need to be less caught up in being in control, and allow things to flow as they may. I have actually come a long way with this. I used to have panic attacks. It was all very hard when my dad was failing and then when I had to take care of his sister, who was very inflexible. Two control freaks do not match up well! That was when I relapsed full on after some solid sober time.
But I do get your point. If I am clear and not altered, I can much more easily be the master of my own destiny.
I don't think latching onto control is a healthy way to manage being sober. I think personally, I need to be less caught up in being in control, and allow things to flow as they may. I have actually come a long way with this. I used to have panic attacks. It was all very hard when my dad was failing and then when I had to take care of his sister, who was very inflexible. Two control freaks do not match up well! That was when I relapsed full on after some solid sober time.
But I do get your point. If I am clear and not altered, I can much more easily be the master of my own destiny.
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Location: East Coast, The States
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Yes I think both are true. I have to work hard at letting go of controlling externals.
But I work harder at exerting internal control when stressed, like in the sense of meditating more, taking medicine regularly and getting sleep and eating well...etc.
The serenity prayer makes so much sense to me now. I must confess, embarrassingly, I never really understood before why people thought it was so profound!. LOL
But I get it now. And I even say it when stressed!
But I work harder at exerting internal control when stressed, like in the sense of meditating more, taking medicine regularly and getting sleep and eating well...etc.
The serenity prayer makes so much sense to me now. I must confess, embarrassingly, I never really understood before why people thought it was so profound!. LOL
But I get it now. And I even say it when stressed!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Not surprisingly, I am an all-or-nothing gal too. And a bit of a control freak, although I am working on that. I guess the all-or-nothing mentality works well for being sober, though, because, really, you can't be kind of sober.
It's weird, I am this way mostly in things that affect only me, or that only I know about. For instance, my weight has been a struggle since childhood, so whenever I have changed my eating habits in order to lose weight, i have gone at it 100%; if I slipped, I would chow down for the rest of the day. Completely screwy logic.
I agree that not drinking makes me feel in control. But I think that was a lot of the allure of drinking for me; I liked feeling out of control every now and then.
Hmmm. Lots to think about.
It's weird, I am this way mostly in things that affect only me, or that only I know about. For instance, my weight has been a struggle since childhood, so whenever I have changed my eating habits in order to lose weight, i have gone at it 100%; if I slipped, I would chow down for the rest of the day. Completely screwy logic.
I agree that not drinking makes me feel in control. But I think that was a lot of the allure of drinking for me; I liked feeling out of control every now and then.
Hmmm. Lots to think about.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted by rochele
Yeah, I also go on "kicks." I get really into a way of cooking and eating, or a new diet trend(not fad diet, but whole way of eating for health). But then I slip with those things too! Staying rigdily on course is difficult for ma in all areas. I need to be very regimented and in a routine, or it all goes out the window. The chaos of child rearing threw me in a big way, as did adjusting to living with someone, when I married my husband. Though I had briefly lived with someone before, but he had moved into my space, so I was in conotrol. Really, I am uncomfortale with not being in control, though I have let a lot of that go in life. It still troubles me, however. My messy house makes my brain messy and that sort of stuff. Living with 2 kids and another(stubborn) adult, do not make for order and control, lol.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
All or nothing really describes me too. I often go so far extending myself and being perfect that I crash and can't even manage to wash my hair or change out of pjs. I am really working to move away from that. I think having a child has helped me loosen up. I used to be very rigid.
My parents come in from the east coast today. Very excited! Now I have to go clean though, lol.
My parents come in from the east coast today. Very excited! Now I have to go clean though, lol.
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