Class of September 2013 - Part 10
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Class of September 2013 - Part 10
The last part is here....
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-9-a.html
Hope I did this right! I was channeling my inner Dee
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-9-a.html
Hope I did this right! I was channeling my inner Dee
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,017
Lorelei
Why not, everyone else does
Seriously, that's the reason why AA is huge on having you coming back to meetings. It's even more important than the 12 steps. The meetings are essentially group therapy, the most effective way of addressing addiction according to my psych. It's the sharing of experiences with folks who are non-judgemental and have a common bond.
Your sobriety is the number one priority. Same as everyone else.
Why not, everyone else does
Seriously, that's the reason why AA is huge on having you coming back to meetings. It's even more important than the 12 steps. The meetings are essentially group therapy, the most effective way of addressing addiction according to my psych. It's the sharing of experiences with folks who are non-judgemental and have a common bond.
Your sobriety is the number one priority. Same as everyone else.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
Uhoh where's Dee? Hope you're doing ok buddy
I wanted to thank all of you who are posting about teenagers. I had written a whole long post about it but it got shut down because of the thread change. I am too tired to recompose everything. But I was gonna say, that my mother didn't get it at all. She thought my "changes" were a result of mental problems and that I was doing things TO her, and was obsessed with fixing what was wrong with me. (It got pretty extreme but I'll spare you. (Think Penny's mother in "Hairspray" meets "Mommie Dearest"). She also just thought I was a bad seed and wouldn't let me forget it. Oooooh god forbid I like myself.
She ran around acting like she was poor Mildred Pierce and I was her evil incarnate daughter. What a crock.
As a result she never got to know me and we have no relationship.
Anyway, teenagers are whippersnappers, and I wish you luck. Thanks for being the kind of parents that actually seek advice and those of you who are saying, "that's just how they are," thank you.
I have no children but I guess I just identify with the teenagers more than the parents (and I ain't no teenager)
I wanted to thank all of you who are posting about teenagers. I had written a whole long post about it but it got shut down because of the thread change. I am too tired to recompose everything. But I was gonna say, that my mother didn't get it at all. She thought my "changes" were a result of mental problems and that I was doing things TO her, and was obsessed with fixing what was wrong with me. (It got pretty extreme but I'll spare you. (Think Penny's mother in "Hairspray" meets "Mommie Dearest"). She also just thought I was a bad seed and wouldn't let me forget it. Oooooh god forbid I like myself.
She ran around acting like she was poor Mildred Pierce and I was her evil incarnate daughter. What a crock.
As a result she never got to know me and we have no relationship.
Anyway, teenagers are whippersnappers, and I wish you luck. Thanks for being the kind of parents that actually seek advice and those of you who are saying, "that's just how they are," thank you.
I have no children but I guess I just identify with the teenagers more than the parents (and I ain't no teenager)
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Thank you Seren.
Lorelei, I do relate to wanting to numb out. It gets tiring to me to have feelings 24/7. I try to remind myself that good or bad, his is what real life is and we are living authentically. I wish I could give you a big hug!
Welcome, new friends, to the group!
Lorelei, I do relate to wanting to numb out. It gets tiring to me to have feelings 24/7. I try to remind myself that good or bad, his is what real life is and we are living authentically. I wish I could give you a big hug!
Welcome, new friends, to the group!
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 225
Thanks for that Plenny; I have 3 teenagers and a 10 year old. It's good to be reminded of what it can feel like to be in their world. I do try and empathize but they drive me crazy so much of the time and it's hard to identify with them when you have to be the parent.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Posts: 29
Lorelei - ((((((BIG HUGS)))))))
I watched the movie The Help again last night, while based in a very racist Mississippi in the 50's it has some great stuff in it. It also always makes me cry. Sometimes a good cry can help wash the slate clean when feelings get to be overwhelming. The maid's mantra for the children in her care is also great..... "You [are] kind, you are smart, you are important."
ALL of that is true for you! Sometimes I have found it's more productive to have a good cry and let it out, rather than keep it inside and try to deal with it.
Whatever works for you..... However I will reiterate, YOU deserve to be happy!
I watched the movie The Help again last night, while based in a very racist Mississippi in the 50's it has some great stuff in it. It also always makes me cry. Sometimes a good cry can help wash the slate clean when feelings get to be overwhelming. The maid's mantra for the children in her care is also great..... "You [are] kind, you are smart, you are important."
ALL of that is true for you! Sometimes I have found it's more productive to have a good cry and let it out, rather than keep it inside and try to deal with it.
Whatever works for you..... However I will reiterate, YOU deserve to be happy!
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Got the kids off to school. Goodness, my son was so scatterred today! Iyiyiyi. I hope he has an ok day. He has ADHD, but not hyper, more distracted. He just seemed incredibly distracted this morning, getting lost in his head with every task he needed to do!
Speaking of tasks, I need to get some things done today Going to limit my computer time.
I fall so far behind on all of you when I am busy! Hard to catch up!
Speaking of tasks, I need to get some things done today Going to limit my computer time.
I fall so far behind on all of you when I am busy! Hard to catch up!
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Morning. Money seems to be flying out of my house as fast as I'm earning it. The 2 year old washing machine went kaboom this morning. It was either going to cost me $80 just to have somebody to knock on my door (not including parts and labor of course) or $225 for a 1 year warranty (unless my appliance was damaged in a flood, tornado, etc.). So now I'm trapped in the house tomorrow from 1-5pm to get it fixed. You just know the guy is going to show up at 4:55.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 579
Good day, everyone.
Lor, I hope you're feeling some better. I wish I could give you a real hug, but sending a virtual one for good measure. Got an idea: how about a little retail therapy? Shopping might take your mind off things.
The Doors, Bob Dylan: Fish and Plenny, you guys are talkin' my language now! I'm considered "vintage" (just one step from antique), so I hope Sally Field 2013 is available to play me.
Black, I think you have some normal teenage girl behavior going on at your house. I don't have kids, but it sounds a lot like what my sisters went through with their girls.
Fifth, you've said weekends are hard for you. Thinking good thoughts for you as this one approaches. And everyone else, too. Weekends weren't special for me--I would drink any old time.... I'm gonna remember Dee's technique: when thinking about that first drink, play the tape all the way through to the end. It never ends pretty, does it?
Sarah, how are you this morning? You've probably posted on another thread--gonna go find you!
Love to you all XO
Lor, I hope you're feeling some better. I wish I could give you a real hug, but sending a virtual one for good measure. Got an idea: how about a little retail therapy? Shopping might take your mind off things.
The Doors, Bob Dylan: Fish and Plenny, you guys are talkin' my language now! I'm considered "vintage" (just one step from antique), so I hope Sally Field 2013 is available to play me.
Black, I think you have some normal teenage girl behavior going on at your house. I don't have kids, but it sounds a lot like what my sisters went through with their girls.
Fifth, you've said weekends are hard for you. Thinking good thoughts for you as this one approaches. And everyone else, too. Weekends weren't special for me--I would drink any old time.... I'm gonna remember Dee's technique: when thinking about that first drink, play the tape all the way through to the end. It never ends pretty, does it?
Sarah, how are you this morning? You've probably posted on another thread--gonna go find you!
Love to you all XO
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Oh dear UI. Just what you need! Hopefully the repairman comes early so you're not held hostage.
I feel so good this morning. The empty bottle of champagne was on my counter and it was weird that I had poured it out and wasn't feeling guilty about drinking it.
It's nice to not have any in the house. My husband gets a six pack from time to time which doesn't bother me because I really don't like beer, regardless of my problem with alcohol. I always feel horrible after drinking it so I didn't drink it anyway even when I was guzzling wine by the box-full.
I have so much to do today - not sure where to start. I figured drinking coffee and browsing SR is a good place. How is everyone doing today?
I feel so good this morning. The empty bottle of champagne was on my counter and it was weird that I had poured it out and wasn't feeling guilty about drinking it.
It's nice to not have any in the house. My husband gets a six pack from time to time which doesn't bother me because I really don't like beer, regardless of my problem with alcohol. I always feel horrible after drinking it so I didn't drink it anyway even when I was guzzling wine by the box-full.
I have so much to do today - not sure where to start. I figured drinking coffee and browsing SR is a good place. How is everyone doing today?
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Just told my closest family members - my sister and my dad, that I don't drink anymore. Didn't want to really, but I just got a text asking me to come over tonight for dinner and "lots of drinking to celebrate the end of the week." Needed to get it out there, so I dropped the bomb. The biggest surprise to myself was the realization that I was keeping it secret in case I changed my mind. Funny how that works. Hmm. This is the point of no return evidently.
UI - I'm guessing 4:55 is optimistic....more like 5:10.
Teenagers - I have one and almost two. The book that saved my sanity was "Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy" by Michael Bradley. Honestly...helped me understand those poor dears and how to interact with them.
I'm on top of the wagon cab WITH a shotgun. No one is going to mess with us getting there. Mad Max just popped in my head.
UI - I'm guessing 4:55 is optimistic....more like 5:10.
Teenagers - I have one and almost two. The book that saved my sanity was "Yes, Your Teen Is Crazy" by Michael Bradley. Honestly...helped me understand those poor dears and how to interact with them.
I'm on top of the wagon cab WITH a shotgun. No one is going to mess with us getting there. Mad Max just popped in my head.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Originally Posted by Nuway2fly 
Good day, everyone.
Lor, I hope you're feeling some better. I wish I could give you a real hug, but sending a virtual one for good measure. Got an idea: how about a little retail therapy? Shopping might take your mind off things.
The Doors, Bob Dylan: Fish and Plenny, you guys are talkin' my language now! I'm considered "vintage" (just one step from antique), so I hope Sally Field 2013 is available to play me.
Black, I think you have some normal teenage girl behavior going on at your house. I don't have kids, but it sounds a lot like what my sisters went through with their girls.
Fifth, you've said weekends are hard for you. Thinking good thoughts for you as this one approaches. And everyone else, too. Weekends weren't special for me--I would drink any old time.... I'm gonna remember Dee's technique: when thinking about that first drink, play the tape all the way through to the end. It never ends pretty, does it?
Sarah, how are you this morning? You've probably posted on another thread--gonna go find you!
Love to you all XO
Lor, I hope you're feeling some better. I wish I could give you a real hug, but sending a virtual one for good measure. Got an idea: how about a little retail therapy? Shopping might take your mind off things.
The Doors, Bob Dylan: Fish and Plenny, you guys are talkin' my language now! I'm considered "vintage" (just one step from antique), so I hope Sally Field 2013 is available to play me.
Black, I think you have some normal teenage girl behavior going on at your house. I don't have kids, but it sounds a lot like what my sisters went through with their girls.
Fifth, you've said weekends are hard for you. Thinking good thoughts for you as this one approaches. And everyone else, too. Weekends weren't special for me--I would drink any old time.... I'm gonna remember Dee's technique: when thinking about that first drink, play the tape all the way through to the end. It never ends pretty, does it?
Sarah, how are you this morning? You've probably posted on another thread--gonna go find you!
Love to you all XO
Velveteen Rabbit
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: San Diego, Cali
Posts: 2,661
Renarde, Glad you worked through your situation last night! Being a mom is really hard sometimes!
My two cents: it sounds like something triggered a core hurt of yours. A guy named Stephen Stosny wrote a few books and he talked about core hurts, which are the following feelings (in order of painful to most painful):
◾ Disregarded
◾ Unimportant
◾ Accused (guilty, untrustworthy, or distrusted) <<===MOM GUILT
◾ Devalued
◾ Rejected
◾ Powerless
◾ Unlovable
When something happens to trigger a core hurt, we take a nose dive emotionally. Mommy guilt might be number 3...and then it went even deeper with the weight issue of your past. Alcohol numbed my core hurts, but hasn't healed them.
Compassion protects an individual from core hurts through perspective-taking, avoids stimulating those awful feelings.
The core of the Stosny approach is an exercise named HEALS, an acronym for the following steps:
◾Healing -- Imagine the word "HEALING" flashing in front of you. This stops the emotional arousal and provides mental imagery to stimulate the body's healing responses.
◾Explain to yourself the core hurt that is causing the problem.
◾Apply self-compassion. Ask if the external event or someone else's behavior mean that you're unimportant, not valuable, or unlovable.
◾Love yourself.
◾Solve the problem. Once you are more calm and relaxed, you will have a better ability to solve the problem than when you are psychologically aroused.
Above is really simplistic explanation, but compassion for yourself and others is the balm that heals all wounds.
I thought since you were studying healthcare, you might find this helpful.
My two cents: it sounds like something triggered a core hurt of yours. A guy named Stephen Stosny wrote a few books and he talked about core hurts, which are the following feelings (in order of painful to most painful):
◾ Disregarded
◾ Unimportant
◾ Accused (guilty, untrustworthy, or distrusted) <<===MOM GUILT
◾ Devalued
◾ Rejected
◾ Powerless
◾ Unlovable
When something happens to trigger a core hurt, we take a nose dive emotionally. Mommy guilt might be number 3...and then it went even deeper with the weight issue of your past. Alcohol numbed my core hurts, but hasn't healed them.
Compassion protects an individual from core hurts through perspective-taking, avoids stimulating those awful feelings.
The core of the Stosny approach is an exercise named HEALS, an acronym for the following steps:
◾Healing -- Imagine the word "HEALING" flashing in front of you. This stops the emotional arousal and provides mental imagery to stimulate the body's healing responses.
◾Explain to yourself the core hurt that is causing the problem.
◾Apply self-compassion. Ask if the external event or someone else's behavior mean that you're unimportant, not valuable, or unlovable.
◾Love yourself.
◾Solve the problem. Once you are more calm and relaxed, you will have a better ability to solve the problem than when you are psychologically aroused.
Above is really simplistic explanation, but compassion for yourself and others is the balm that heals all wounds.
I thought since you were studying healthcare, you might find this helpful.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Originally Posted by LillianGish
Just told my closest family members - my sister and my dad, that I don't drink anymore. Didn't want to really, but I just got a text asking me to come over tonight for dinner and "lots of drinking to celebrate the end of the week." Needed to get it out there, so I dropped the bomb. The biggest surprise to myself was the realization that I was keeping it secret in case I changed my mind. Funny how that works. Hmm. This is the point of no return evidently.
UI - I'm guessing 4:55 is optimistic....more like 5:10.
UI - I'm guessing 4:55 is optimistic....more like 5:10.
I think you might be right about that repair guy - sigh. The only thing I have going for me is I don't think the repair guy is going to want to be working after 5pm on a Saturday.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
~~~Food for Thought ~ Early Weekend Edition~~~
~~~It's All In Your Mind~~~
(Day 45 in progress and sorry I didn't get a chance to catch up on the last part of the thread before it kicked over...been busy. I found this food for thought instrumental in the changes I've been making thus far so hope it helps you guys as well.)
Whatever situation you find your behind in today, you mind and thoughts put it there,
Your thoughts direct the flow of activity into and out of your life.
Your mind can make you ill. Your mind will make you well. Your mind can strengthen your relationships. Your mind will chase all friends and suitors away.
Your mind make you wealthy. Your mind will keep you broke. Your scattered thoughts will create confusion.
Dark thoughts will case out creative light.
Thoughts of fear bring negative experiences. Thoughts of enemies bring them to your door.
At all times, in all situation, if you don't like where you find your bottom, change what's going on at the top.
#Welcome2Octsober #Truechangestartswiththemind
~~~It's All In Your Mind~~~
(Day 45 in progress and sorry I didn't get a chance to catch up on the last part of the thread before it kicked over...been busy. I found this food for thought instrumental in the changes I've been making thus far so hope it helps you guys as well.)
Whatever situation you find your behind in today, you mind and thoughts put it there,
Your thoughts direct the flow of activity into and out of your life.
Your mind can make you ill. Your mind will make you well. Your mind can strengthen your relationships. Your mind will chase all friends and suitors away.
Your mind make you wealthy. Your mind will keep you broke. Your scattered thoughts will create confusion.
Dark thoughts will case out creative light.
Thoughts of fear bring negative experiences. Thoughts of enemies bring them to your door.
At all times, in all situation, if you don't like where you find your bottom, change what's going on at the top.
#Welcome2Octsober #Truechangestartswiththemind
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