Dee74

last part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-5-a-20.html

D

Plenny

1step please grab that bottle and dump it down the drain without even thinking about it! I bet you'll be happy you did.

phoebe64

Hi all. Closing down on a sober weekend here. There are so many posts today, I do not have a prayer of catching up!

I had some good, clean, sober fun this weekend! I do not feel like I missed out on anything. Sober is good. We did a lot of local sight seeing and had a walk around a very beautiful pond today. A very famous pond, for that matter. A lovely day. Too bad my (sober) friend has to go home tomorrow.

Hopefully I will have time to read and catch up with you all tomorrow.

Goodnight,

Ro-

Uninvited

Walden pond? Only famous pond I can think of.

Productive day for me today cleaning and fixing stuff around the house that never bothered me until now. It's not like I'm gonna have guests though so not sure why it's suddenly so important. Felt good though

Kaneda8888

1stepup, try to take a step back and choose before you have a drink. Is it really what you want right now ? Maybe its better to rest and think about it when you have clearer thoughts. Dont act on impulse

83mama0f2

Haven't been having any cravings. Been feeling great. Day 8. I have no illusions that ill ever be able to drink normally again and that has been very healing. Having a hard time sleeping though. In the past ive always drank right before bed until I went to sleep and of course now I cant fall asleep. Been trying guided meditation and I'm able to reach a deep state of relaxation but then I feel my heart beating and it almost feels like its beating faster. Is this anxiety or something? I snap out of my relaxed state and have to start all over. Been staying up way too late!!

abwvu1

Day 22 to a close. Another happy sober weekend.

Attended a powerful AA meeting this evening. Hearing their stories similar if not worse than mine but having the fortitude to keep moving and to stay sober. To keep coming back.

I'm beginning to think SR is my AA room. I keep coming back.

I hope we have a Sept 2013 thread 10 years later. I know that's way ahead but I believe this is this time. I really hope so.

Kaneda8888

83mama: good to hear ! Dont stress about insomnia, only makes it worse. I suffer from insomnia all the time irrespective of alcohol and once my in-law gave me the advice to simply let go and let it be. I thought he was an idiot. But I have since realized that it is great advice. Let go, rest your eyes and body and simply let it be. Eventually your body will reach equilibrium and you will get the sleep needed.

SoberChristy

1stepup–I agree with the others. Pour it in the toilet, spit in it, throw it in a lake. Do what you need to do get rid of it. Keep pushing yourself.

Plenny

Hiya. I must ask a question that seems to really frustrate the people I ask: HOW do you let go?
I have trouble with hanging on to things (a problem that HAS gotten much better in sobriety, I often 'shelve' problems until I can process them). I often feel helpless when something happens because I know it will plague me until lots of time passes and I get to the bottom of it. It's obsessive and maddening.
Like I said, it's gotten much better, but I still don't know HOW.
In all of my years of therapy and reading and sorta self-helping, I just keep hearing "let go," but never a "how to let go." I don't seem to have the tools or fully understand how I'm accomplishing it. But I have a feeling that knowing the tools and how to use them to "let go" could help me in a rough spot.
Does anyone know how to let go? I wasn't built that way

Dee74

breathing exercises help me let go...at least sometimes

Breathing Exercises

D

Plenny

Thank you!! I have noticed that trying to be present has helped a bit. Of course that's another thing that's been tough to learn.
You see, I am a time traveler.
'This happened then this happened...'
'What if this happened...'
'This is going to happen...'
'It happened like this...'
Over and over again. Very obsessive!! And sneaky during meditation.
It's amazing how much better its gotten though. Maybe my drinking was feeding my obsessive perfectionist synapses or something

Kaneda8888

Simple. Leave a busy city such as NY and live in a sleepy town like mine. You wont have anything to hold onto.

Seriously,'letting go' is a bit misleading as it seems to imply that you do nothing when actually its the opposite. Well, at least for me it is. For me, letting go means to focus all of your attention on the present. Become conscious of all your 5 senses and let that fill your mind. Breathe in deeply from your lower belly and breathe through your thoughts/emotions. The popular practice where this stems from is 'mindfulness'. Google it, there are tons of websites.

The best way to do this is through meditation where you focus on your breath. By singularly focusing (and refocusing) on your breath, the mind is not able to hold onto thoughts. They simply go. It takes practice but you do see the benefits within a few weeks.

Plenny

I would love to practice mindfulness. I have trouble focusing on things actually haha! It's part of why I live in a big city, part of why I listen to interesting stories while I paint. It's my filter.
I actually come from a small, quiet town. I'd be very afraid to meet those thoughts that surface in the quiet again ... because they're not me
Am I scaring you? It's true though I need the active crazy city paired with my wonderful therapist. Small town living made my idle hands itch.
But now that I have a skill that requires a lot of lonely hours, it might be wonderful to withdraw to the country. I often threaten to retreat from civilization. I have wanted to take an oath of silence in the past.

Dee74

I used to think I might be schizophrenic. I'm not - just a healthy imagination & a brain going 3 million miles an hour

I found this a useful read in a lot of ways (this is the first part of three):

Mindfulness and Addiction: Part I | Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

D

Plenny

Thank you Dee I will check all of this out.


I definitely suffered from unwanted thoughts growing up, and lots of self hating thoughts, and violent and inappropriate and uncomfortable visions. I'm not surprised I self medicated so much at all. Now I'm trying to get in touch with the person I left back there. I'm still scared, but nowhere near as terrified as I was then. Maybe my problem with letting go has to do with the tangibility I assign to emotions. They're almost like real, movable objects to me. In my way, inside me, holding me back, killing my family, making everyone hate me... Ok most of those are the old night terrors but feelings still get too much credit in my mind I think

Dee74

naturally if you're scared or concerned about anything it's probably a good idea to see someone about it...but my brain was pretty messed up for a little while after I stopped drinking and got into recovery, plenny

D

SoberChristy

Just checking in before I go to bed. I am feeling THANKFUL for being sober today and looking forward to waking up clear tomorrow.

Catch up with you all in the AM (in these parts) :-)

Renarde

Plenny, do you have a therapist? I think that might be helpful in dealing with your fear of feelings. (((Plenny)))

Renarde

AFM - I feel so much relief and joy at sobriety. I cannot believe how physically sick I felt all the time. I am really starting to feel like I don't want to drink ever again. It just is not worth the terrible costs.