Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 4
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Moms and Mums Club 2013 Part 4
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Joygirl - so sorry to hear about your losses as well. It really is the worst kind of pain. I thank God everyday for my beautiful, healthy little girl. I sometimes feel like I am way too paranoid and overprotective with her because of what I have lost. Guess that is normal, but she won't like it as she gets older 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 43
Good morning, I am so sorry for all of your losses, I have had 2 miscarriges but they were so early, I hadn't even gotten a chance to be excited so I didn't have the attachment you all must have, and the pain no one should ever go through.
Not to down play that subject, but I really needed to get on here ASAP today, I woke up with the WORST anxiety this morning, I knew I would have a full blown panic attack if I didn't take an anxiety med. I really don't like taking them because its the same depressent for your CNS as drinking and there fore a crutch, but it happens, any way, it's day four again and I am assuming because of the constant stress I am putting myself through trying to do this is why the panic set in. I just really need to find some strength today, I am determined to make it to day 5!!
Not to down play that subject, but I really needed to get on here ASAP today, I woke up with the WORST anxiety this morning, I knew I would have a full blown panic attack if I didn't take an anxiety med. I really don't like taking them because its the same depressent for your CNS as drinking and there fore a crutch, but it happens, any way, it's day four again and I am assuming because of the constant stress I am putting myself through trying to do this is why the panic set in. I just really need to find some strength today, I am determined to make it to day 5!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Dolly - I have a clottting disorder too, and took blood thinner shots for my most recent pregnancy, which was a total success! My oldest daughter was born at 28.5 weeks due to the disorder too... I stopped feeling her move and went to the hospital and they delivered her within a few hours. One interesting thing about my particular disorder, MTHFR C677T, is that there are links to it and alcoholism. Supposedly, the disorder allows people to drink with less physical toxicity - it's almost a protectant against alcohol, but in the same way, it can lead to dependency because you don't feel as bad effects from alcohol that others might. Our bodies are so individual through our genetic make-up, I suppose.
I had a bad night. My husband had a few beers with the neighbor and when he came to bed, I was not thrilled - he just wasn't quite himself. We got into a discussion where we talked about my drinking and his, and I agree that he was right - we both have waves, but mine are alot bigger - my drinking is more out of control, and then my abstinence is always total, where he drinks a little more sometimes and then a little less. I told him I can't remember a day he wasn't hungover that he didn't drink, and that he is stern and cold all day until he has a beer and then he's soft and fun. It's true. He told me that he doesn't have fun with us as a family anymore - it's too hard. I guess I worry too much and the girls are too difficult when I'm around (it's because the baby always wants me and she cries, I think). It was hard to hear that. Baby was teething and up all night after that, and I'm resentful that I can't get one night of sleep. I'm feeling overwhelmed by everyone and am not seeing the upsides to sobriety right now. It's affecting my marriage, it's making me more anxious about caring for the kids (apparently, but I think that's bull - I've been more available to the kids since I stopped drinking - more real to them), and I still feel like crap when I wake up after a sleepless night with the 16 month "baby." I certainly didn't feel worse when I was drinking.... at least not on most days.
I had a bad night. My husband had a few beers with the neighbor and when he came to bed, I was not thrilled - he just wasn't quite himself. We got into a discussion where we talked about my drinking and his, and I agree that he was right - we both have waves, but mine are alot bigger - my drinking is more out of control, and then my abstinence is always total, where he drinks a little more sometimes and then a little less. I told him I can't remember a day he wasn't hungover that he didn't drink, and that he is stern and cold all day until he has a beer and then he's soft and fun. It's true. He told me that he doesn't have fun with us as a family anymore - it's too hard. I guess I worry too much and the girls are too difficult when I'm around (it's because the baby always wants me and she cries, I think). It was hard to hear that. Baby was teething and up all night after that, and I'm resentful that I can't get one night of sleep. I'm feeling overwhelmed by everyone and am not seeing the upsides to sobriety right now. It's affecting my marriage, it's making me more anxious about caring for the kids (apparently, but I think that's bull - I've been more available to the kids since I stopped drinking - more real to them), and I still feel like crap when I wake up after a sleepless night with the 16 month "baby." I certainly didn't feel worse when I was drinking.... at least not on most days.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 63
Hi ladies
I am only on day 7 today but I would love to join you. I am a mom of two amazing boys. The are 1 and 2.5. I got sober about 6 years ago and stayed sober until April of this year. One day I just decided to drink after 6 years of sobriety and it all went down hill from there. I almost lost my husband,my job and can't believe I did not get a dui. I feel so fortunate to still have all of these things in my life. 6 years ago I went to AA for about a year but I never really got into it. I stayed sober for the next five years on my own but still smoked pot occasionally.
I am now staying alcohol, smoke and weed free and I am really starting to like the AVRT method. Its not easy but it makes more sense to me than AA.
All I know is that I love my kids, my husband and my job.....now its time to love me.
Thanks for letting me share. I look forward to getting to know all of you. My homework for tonight is to read all your back posts
I am only on day 7 today but I would love to join you. I am a mom of two amazing boys. The are 1 and 2.5. I got sober about 6 years ago and stayed sober until April of this year. One day I just decided to drink after 6 years of sobriety and it all went down hill from there. I almost lost my husband,my job and can't believe I did not get a dui. I feel so fortunate to still have all of these things in my life. 6 years ago I went to AA for about a year but I never really got into it. I stayed sober for the next five years on my own but still smoked pot occasionally. I am now staying alcohol, smoke and weed free and I am really starting to like the AVRT method. Its not easy but it makes more sense to me than AA.
All I know is that I love my kids, my husband and my job.....now its time to love me.
Thanks for letting me share. I look forward to getting to know all of you. My homework for tonight is to read all your back posts
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 196
Originally Posted by serenityforever 
Hi ladies I am only on day 7 today but I would love to join you. I am a mom of two amazing boys. The are 1 and 2.5. I got sober about 6 years ago and stayed sober until April of this year. One day I just decided to drink after 6 years of sobriety and it all went down hill from there. I almost lost my husband,my job and can't believe I did not get a dui. I feel so fortunate to still have all of these things in my life. 6 years ago I went to AA for about a year but I never really got into it. I stayed sober for the next five years on my own but still smoked pot occasionally.
I am now staying alcohol, smoke and weed free and I am really starting to like the AVRT method. Its not easy but it makes more sense to me than AA.
All I know is that I love my kids, my husband and my job.....now its time to love me.
Thanks for letting me share. I look forward to getting to know all of you. My homework for tonight is to read all your back posts
I am only on day 7 today but I would love to join you. I am a mom of two amazing boys. The are 1 and 2.5. I got sober about 6 years ago and stayed sober until April of this year. One day I just decided to drink after 6 years of sobriety and it all went down hill from there. I almost lost my husband,my job and can't believe I did not get a dui. I feel so fortunate to still have all of these things in my life. 6 years ago I went to AA for about a year but I never really got into it. I stayed sober for the next five years on my own but still smoked pot occasionally. I am now staying alcohol, smoke and weed free and I am really starting to like the AVRT method. Its not easy but it makes more sense to me than AA.
All I know is that I love my kids, my husband and my job.....now its time to love me.
Thanks for letting me share. I look forward to getting to know all of you. My homework for tonight is to read all your back posts
greenturtle
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 208
Mindless - Sorry about your anxiety! Maybe you should try meditating or yoga or something? Day 4 is good, I am on 3...so right behind ya.
Dolly - I hope things get better with you, H, and cousin. Hopefully H will wake up after your conversation and come directly to you for answers or questions. Or suggest he go to Al-Anon if he needs support.
Bebetter - sorry to hear about your troubles with H. It seems like to me that my H starts to drink when I quit which drives me totally crazy. Would your husband be willing to stop to help you?
Day 3 for me...feeling good.
Dolly - I hope things get better with you, H, and cousin. Hopefully H will wake up after your conversation and come directly to you for answers or questions. Or suggest he go to Al-Anon if he needs support.
Bebetter - sorry to hear about your troubles with H. It seems like to me that my H starts to drink when I quit which drives me totally crazy. Would your husband be willing to stop to help you?
Day 3 for me...feeling good.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Welcome Serenity! Glad you have joined us. This group of moms/mums is sensational, and so instrumental in helping to keep me strong and focused.
Bebetter...that is so interesting about the link to alcoholism! Part of the reason I was able to drink for so long is that I NEVER got drunk. I mean NEVER (at least not since before my daughter was born)!!!! I barely got buzzed for that matter, which meant I rarely had a hangover. Although this was good, it meant I was able to function quite well even though I was drinking heavily, which ultimately allowed me to do it for too long.
Yes...once I was on the blood thinner shots...my pregnancy with my Dolly was smooth as silk:-) Stressful, because I was so afraid through the whole thing, but no problems, and I went full term. In fact they had to induce me after I went over 1 week, and practically drag her out:-) Little princess was way too comfortable:-)
Bebetter...that is so interesting about the link to alcoholism! Part of the reason I was able to drink for so long is that I NEVER got drunk. I mean NEVER (at least not since before my daughter was born)!!!! I barely got buzzed for that matter, which meant I rarely had a hangover. Although this was good, it meant I was able to function quite well even though I was drinking heavily, which ultimately allowed me to do it for too long.
Yes...once I was on the blood thinner shots...my pregnancy with my Dolly was smooth as silk:-) Stressful, because I was so afraid through the whole thing, but no problems, and I went full term. In fact they had to induce me after I went over 1 week, and practically drag her out:-) Little princess was way too comfortable:-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 43
Nice to meet you Serenity, I know how glad I was when I found the mommy section, reading all of the posts here and participating has made it that much more helpful during this rough rough rough time. I am so thankful that SR is people helping people.
Kellyg good job on day three, I know I have said this before but day 4 is always my magic number, I am so ready to break that cycle. It is so frustrating. I am hoping to just keep busy tonight and slam the door on AV.
Dolly and Bebetter, I have nothing to add to your conditions but it is REALLY facinating, I am sorry you both had to go through it. Is it really uncommon?
Kellyg good job on day three, I know I have said this before but day 4 is always my magic number, I am so ready to break that cycle. It is so frustrating. I am hoping to just keep busy tonight and slam the door on AV.
Dolly and Bebetter, I have nothing to add to your conditions but it is REALLY facinating, I am sorry you both had to go through it. Is it really uncommon?
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Hi moms...
Getting ready to tuck my girl in and then have phase 2 of discussion with H. Apparently there were several call made. A lot of them at times right after me hanging out with my cousin. Guess that was the report being filed..
I do not take too kindly to being policed like a pathetic child!!!!
This discussion will be calmer. I am going to make sure he knows how hurt I am.
Then I have to finally talk to my mom, because she was always the first person I wanted to tell, and now that other family members know and are talking about it, I can't chance her "hearing through the grapevine"...we are too close for that.
Getting ready to tuck my girl in and then have phase 2 of discussion with H. Apparently there were several call made. A lot of them at times right after me hanging out with my cousin. Guess that was the report being filed..
I do not take too kindly to being policed like a pathetic child!!!!
This discussion will be calmer. I am going to make sure he knows how hurt I am.
Then I have to finally talk to my mom, because she was always the first person I wanted to tell, and now that other family members know and are talking about it, I can't chance her "hearing through the grapevine"...we are too close for that.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Nazareth, PA
Posts: 453
Dolly - I'm so sorry you are going through this. It would really embarrass me and I'd be really angry at my husband if he told the world. It would be one thing if he went to someone (one person, not related or close to you!) for support, but it sounds like a general hunt for information because of distrust. Intellectually, I can understand his mistrust, but when it comes down to it, for you guys to be settled together, he has to put trust in you. I'm also sorry that you couldn't break the news to your mom first... if she was the first you wanted to know, it should have been that way. Many hugs to you...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hope the talk with hubby goes well Dolly. Sending you strength for the talk with your Mom. I recently opened up to my Mom about everything. She and I are really close and used to enjoy drinking wine together so I was afraid she would be disappointed (not only in me, but over the fact that we wouldn't be able to drink together anymore) but, instead, she was supportive and relieved to hear I was quitting. Guess she had started to get concerned. It has helped me tremendously, not only to have someone to talk to, but to help keep me accountable. I know I can never "get away" with having a drink around her anymore.
Anyway, I am sure your Mom will be supportive and proud of you for doing what is best for you and your family
Anyway, I am sure your Mom will be supportive and proud of you for doing what is best for you and your family
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hey, moms!
Today is exactly 4 months clean and sober for me. I don't know how I got here, but I did. There is no way I'm going back to that life. Thanks to you all for being part of my recovery!
Dolly, All I can say is, try to keep calm and listen to what H has to say. Try to listen without being too defensive. I wish you the best. It will all be okay in the end!
Today is exactly 4 months clean and sober for me. I don't know how I got here, but I did. There is no way I'm going back to that life. Thanks to you all for being part of my recovery!
Dolly, All I can say is, try to keep calm and listen to what H has to say. Try to listen without being too defensive. I wish you the best. It will all be okay in the end!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Awesome job on 4 months Joy!
Talk with hubby ended okay. I told him how hurt I was that he confided details of my drinking to my cousin without consulting me, and I think he gets it, and he promised to never do it again.
I told him if he needed a support group, than he could try Al-Anon or something. Things ended pretty good. He told me some things that had been bothering him when I was drinking, so we aired done things out, and think we will be able to be better for it.
I talked to my mom too, and that went great as I knew it would
Anyway....thanks for listening to me vent:-)
Talk with hubby ended okay. I told him how hurt I was that he confided details of my drinking to my cousin without consulting me, and I think he gets it, and he promised to never do it again.
I told him if he needed a support group, than he could try Al-Anon or something. Things ended pretty good. He told me some things that had been bothering him when I was drinking, so we aired done things out, and think we will be able to be better for it.
I talked to my mom too, and that went great as I knew it would
Anyway....thanks for listening to me vent:-)
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
So glad Dolly!
Ladybug, It really is different than 4 months ago, 3 months ago, even 3 weeks ago. I can't begin to tell you all the ways it is worth it, because it really has slowly changed so many aspects of my life, in positive ways. It seemed to be such a long, slow recovery at the time, and I had to learn real patience. Not patience for others, but patience for myself. I had to live through many bad days, low, dark days to get here.
Yes, yes, yes! It is worth it. All the cheesy cliches people say about appreciating life, one day at a time, keep on keeping on, etc. they are true.
It is worth it because I can look at myself in the mirror and smile. I can see life twinkling in my eyes again. I feel pain, anger, frustration, sadness, lonliness and survive. And when I feel happiness, excitement, joy, pleasure, and contentedness, I REALLY feel it and I am grateful for that. When I laugh, I laugh with my whole body, like a child does, you know?
I'm still recovering. I'm excited about the future now. I'm so hopeful again! I'm exercising, eating well, being responsible, flossing my teeth (I know,yuck!, but I didn't floss much when I was zoned out for 8 years!) manicuring my nails, polishing my toes, SHAVING MY LEGS, pampering my skin, exfoliating,.... you see how little I cared for myself!
Well, I guess I've gone on enough. Be encouraged. Little by little you'll get yourself back. You will!
Ladybug, It really is different than 4 months ago, 3 months ago, even 3 weeks ago. I can't begin to tell you all the ways it is worth it, because it really has slowly changed so many aspects of my life, in positive ways. It seemed to be such a long, slow recovery at the time, and I had to learn real patience. Not patience for others, but patience for myself. I had to live through many bad days, low, dark days to get here.
Yes, yes, yes! It is worth it. All the cheesy cliches people say about appreciating life, one day at a time, keep on keeping on, etc. they are true.
It is worth it because I can look at myself in the mirror and smile. I can see life twinkling in my eyes again. I feel pain, anger, frustration, sadness, lonliness and survive. And when I feel happiness, excitement, joy, pleasure, and contentedness, I REALLY feel it and I am grateful for that. When I laugh, I laugh with my whole body, like a child does, you know?
I'm still recovering. I'm excited about the future now. I'm so hopeful again! I'm exercising, eating well, being responsible, flossing my teeth (I know,yuck!, but I didn't floss much when I was zoned out for 8 years!) manicuring my nails, polishing my toes, SHAVING MY LEGS, pampering my skin, exfoliating,.... you see how little I cared for myself!
Well, I guess I've gone on enough. Be encouraged. Little by little you'll get yourself back. You will!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
I just read this on another thread and it's perfect:
"God promises to change me so slowly that I hardly nottice it is happening but change me he does. each day is a little bit better each day I'm a little bit better. When I look backwards I'm absolutely amazed at the positive change that occurred in my life. Stay sober my friend do not give up before the miracle happens." (MIRecovery)
"God promises to change me so slowly that I hardly nottice it is happening but change me he does. each day is a little bit better each day I'm a little bit better. When I look backwards I'm absolutely amazed at the positive change that occurred in my life. Stay sober my friend do not give up before the miracle happens." (MIRecovery)
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 699
I'm really pleased for you Dolly and congrats joygirl! 4 months is amazing and I know what you mean about looking after yourself better - I now moisturise my legs and painted my toenails for the first time in years 2 days ago . I am now on 5 1/2 weeks and each day feel stronger / happier. I guess I am finding a peace within myself that I have never known before - I've always been my number 1 enemy with low self confidence but I am realising that actually I am ok - quite funny at times too - who knew?!?
How are you getting on with Alan Carr ladybug?
Well it's another hot one here so I am topping up my tan whilst my dad takes my 3 yr old to the park - I have a hen doo this weekend and have already made my excuses for not drinking - I'm on antibiotics for a tooth infection
Good luck to all mums out there and welcome all newbies xxxxx
. I am now on 5 1/2 weeks and each day feel stronger / happier. I guess I am finding a peace within myself that I have never known before - I've always been my number 1 enemy with low self confidence but I am realising that actually I am ok - quite funny at times too - who knew?!? How are you getting on with Alan Carr ladybug?
Well it's another hot one here so I am topping up my tan whilst my dad takes my 3 yr old to the park - I have a hen doo this weekend and have already made my excuses for not drinking - I'm on antibiotics for a tooth infection
Good luck to all mums out there and welcome all newbies
xxxxx
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