Notices

Need an opinion

Old 06-03-2013, 11:55 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 54
Need an opinion

I live in a place where there are limited meetings and only two other women in AA. The one is my sponsor, who is leaving the country permanently in two weeks time. The other has not been sober long, and would not be a possible sponsor. My sponsor and I only manage to meet up every week or two, so I will see her today, and then probably only again once before she leaves

I have been sober about a year and three months, but have not yet done my fourth step. I have wanted to do it with my sponsor, but I am not sure if I will be ready in time. I just started looking at the sheets she gave me, so I could start before meeting her later this afternoon. I started writing, but then got all confused, feeling like I don't know how to do it properly etc, and feeling like a loser.
I felt like things were going pretty smoothly in my recovery so far, but now feel like I might have hit a wall.

So what I want to know is...should I try and rush through it so I can try and do my fifth step with my sponsor, or should I just give myself more time, and find someone also to do it with later on.

Any guidance would be greatly appreciated

Ps: Just glad I didn't wallow in my feeling like a loser, wanting to quit working on my fourth step, bat came here for a constructive solution. Thanks to the program!
smileyblue is offline  
Old 06-04-2013, 12:21 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Mountainmanbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Originally Posted by smileyblue View Post

So what I want to know is...should I try and rush through it so I can try and do my fifth step with my sponsor, or should I just give myself more time, and find someone also to do it with later on.


even though in the old days they got through all the Steps rather quickly
I would take my time and work this Step to the best of my ability
then do it with someone later on down the road
Mountainmanbob is offline  
Old 06-04-2013, 02:49 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
~sb
 
sugarbear1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,951
What does your sponsor say about this?
sugarbear1 is offline  
Old 06-04-2013, 07:46 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
Gottalife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
One year and three months is a long time to be carrying all that baggage. I don't know how you can stand it.

My windows of opportunity were only about three weeks before the obsession returned. That means I had only three weeks to take action before I was drinking again. That is what is meant by powerless. I had lost the power of choice in drink. To solve that problem I needed to be connected to a power greater than me through the steps. The firts step of which is step 4. If I waste time, the obsession returns and I drink.

I couldn't have done a step 4 on my own. I lacked the intellectual capacity. My sponsor helped me with every word. We spent a full day on it. The next day I took step 5.

Suggestions for your situation are that you have no time to waste. If your sponsor is unable to help you directly with step 4 and is leaving, and you have only one other AA in town, I suggest you buddy up with her and work together on your 4th steps. Woorking with others is essential to recovery anyway.

When it comes to the fifth, maybe a priest or doctor, even in a neighbouring town, would be better than nothing.

There is also AA loners, an online thing where you may find an online sponsor to help you.
Gottalife is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:32 AM.