Checking In
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Checking In
Cheers to a new step for me. This one worried at the back of my mind the minute I realized I needed my own 12 step recovery as a Codie to AH. Nonetheless I printed off these questions this past weekend and started letting the idea of SOME form of HP help me.
Just on cue, I was speaking with a work colleague about preparing to move into Step 2 and she told me she writes to her HP a letter in her journal with one color pen. Then she switches ink color and her HP writes back through her. She said if people believe that God's divine message is in the Bible, then this is no different.
So I am starting out in an epistolary manner to better clarify the relationship with my HP. I just wanted to share this approach as I know I am not the only person who has allowed the human foibles of a religion interfere with my faith and spirituality.
In kindness,
Just on cue, I was speaking with a work colleague about preparing to move into Step 2 and she told me she writes to her HP a letter in her journal with one color pen. Then she switches ink color and her HP writes back through her. She said if people believe that God's divine message is in the Bible, then this is no different.
So I am starting out in an epistolary manner to better clarify the relationship with my HP. I just wanted to share this approach as I know I am not the only person who has allowed the human foibles of a religion interfere with my faith and spirituality.
In kindness,
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
Congrats, and True dat.
If God can and will guide our thoughts, words, and deeds well, may God also do the same for your hand and pen.
I tend to look at the Long-Timers in my Alanon Groups as sort of Bands of Angels sent to us for guidance.
If God can and will guide our thoughts, words, and deeds well, may God also do the same for your hand and pen.
I tend to look at the Long-Timers in my Alanon Groups as sort of Bands of Angels sent to us for guidance.
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Once I had a vision of a great earth mother enveloping all people in a colorful cloak. A very spiritual moment that I had forgotten. A moment I definitely felt connected to a higher power and all others. Going forward I am going to focus on this image for my HP.
In the past 8 months I did try to go it alone more often than not. I ponder Let go and Let God but rarely did I manage to let go fully or with trust. Surprisingly I have had one issue I did let go and let God and that is RAH. I left him several times and never worried about a relapse. One night he drove thru a terrible storm and I fell asleep thinking, Let go and let God. In the past I would have stayed awake in a terror. When he arrived I was serene. Thankful he was safe. Thankful he was sober to deal with such weather. Another storm he insisted on staying outside and I did not fight him. I packed the animals and kid into the basement and let him be without an argument. A tornado did barrel through our town that evening. The storm felt different and I let God watch over RAH who perhaps has a death wish to take on Mother Nature twice in one year. To clarify though I gave RAH over to a Christian God concept because that is fitting for RAH.
Moving forward I need to work on my own relationship with my HP and turn my own concerns and problems over to her. It has become quite evident that I need some guidance in handling my emotions. I have buried them and now I feel numb. I am also terribly smug and arrogant because I am the wronged party in this escapade. That attitude ignores my multiple negative roles I have played to remain in this worsening situation as long as I did. Lastly I fear being vulnerable and trusting so I would like to build some sort of faith in my HP.
In the past 8 months I did try to go it alone more often than not. I ponder Let go and Let God but rarely did I manage to let go fully or with trust. Surprisingly I have had one issue I did let go and let God and that is RAH. I left him several times and never worried about a relapse. One night he drove thru a terrible storm and I fell asleep thinking, Let go and let God. In the past I would have stayed awake in a terror. When he arrived I was serene. Thankful he was safe. Thankful he was sober to deal with such weather. Another storm he insisted on staying outside and I did not fight him. I packed the animals and kid into the basement and let him be without an argument. A tornado did barrel through our town that evening. The storm felt different and I let God watch over RAH who perhaps has a death wish to take on Mother Nature twice in one year. To clarify though I gave RAH over to a Christian God concept because that is fitting for RAH.
Moving forward I need to work on my own relationship with my HP and turn my own concerns and problems over to her. It has become quite evident that I need some guidance in handling my emotions. I have buried them and now I feel numb. I am also terribly smug and arrogant because I am the wronged party in this escapade. That attitude ignores my multiple negative roles I have played to remain in this worsening situation as long as I did. Lastly I fear being vulnerable and trusting so I would like to build some sort of faith in my HP.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Here is the link to my first step. There is not much here as I had a paper journal.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-one.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-one.html
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