mds1212

I am working on 4 step and was not sure if i am supposed to list the current resentments or past. For example i had a ton of issues with my Dad growing up but im 48 and made my peace with it years ago. Does that go on the list? I am working with a sponsor and we keep missing each ther so i was checking here for some help.

Thanks.

paul99

If you've made peace with those resentments regarding your Dad, then in my opinion it doesn't need to go on the list. The list is the stuff that keeps you up at night, that pops up often, that gnaws at you, that doesn't go away, that you re-visit in your mind over and over. If that doesn't apply to what happened in the past, then don't worry about it. We are being thorough, but also keeping in mind what our goal is - to take inventory of the things that are blocking us to the sunlight of the Spirit and to reveal our old patterns to the causes and conditions of our alcoholism.

If little Billy pushed you in the mud when you were 8 years old, you may have been angry at him then, maybe even shoved him back, and then moved on. That wouldn't go on the list. But if at 48 years old, it is still bothering you, then yes, Billy goes on the list.

Good luck on your 4th - it's a wonderful step to be embarking on.

Tommyh

you list every resentment you ever had or currently do have
whether you think you still have it or not,write it down-you sort it out later.Our Big Book does not tell us there is a difference
the big book states:
we have to be free of anger if we are to live ( live,not stay sober )
many times we just think we are free of past anger when in reality we just push it inside and aside and it really is still there

Gal220

I attempted my 4th step several different times. The first time, I thought that I really didn't have any resentments and that I had accepted and made my peace with things. But I realized later that I hadn't. But that's just me! I found it useful later (after 5 years of sobriety) to put those things on there and discuss them with my sponsor. They also pointed to the reasons why I chose to drink and also helped me find my character defects, all things which I think a "moral inventory" is about. It really helped me with my later steps, even if I was "over it".

bbthumper

When writing an inventory, I always start current and work my way backwards.

Mark75

I am frequently looking at old resentments... some I did let go of years ago and they don't need anymore inventory, although it is helpful to look at it, I can still learn about myself... others, well, turns out it may be worth some inventory.

But how much can we handle, or must we handle? early on... current resentments seem a good place to start.

bbthumper

The way I see it, a lot more harm can come from writing something you do not need to than not writing somehting that you do need to. Better safe than sorry!

Tommyh

We went back through our lives. Nothing counted but thoroughness and honesty. When we were finished we considered it carefully.


I like to follow the simple clear cut instructions like those above from chapter 5,1st edition