1 month
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 235
1 month
Hey guys, Just a quick check in. I'm one month sober today. Not that it was an easy month, but it was an easier month than my last attempt at sobriety. I've been stronger with my meditation practice and actually sitting next to this AV and realizing he's there, doing his thing while I'm there doing mine.
On previous attempts to sober up I would fight the AV, struggle with suppressing him by using other methods of distraction. But I've found this time it was much easier realizing he's not real, just another construct in my mind, another distraction I don't have to run from. I let him walk in, kick up his feet, stay as long as he needs to and eventually, he leaves on his own.
I'm not running away anymore, trying to occupy myself with things to suppress him and it's been an enlightening experience. Sure, the cravings arise, but they're no different to me as any other craving, so I let it come in, visit, then leave.
Anxiety is a killer, it consumes the mind. Once you can chip away a these self-centered motivations the space really opens up and you can see these sudden desires for what they are. In this sense, everything is coming along much better for me now. I'm eating better, exercising, being present with my family and enjoying life.
Onward!
On previous attempts to sober up I would fight the AV, struggle with suppressing him by using other methods of distraction. But I've found this time it was much easier realizing he's not real, just another construct in my mind, another distraction I don't have to run from. I let him walk in, kick up his feet, stay as long as he needs to and eventually, he leaves on his own.
I'm not running away anymore, trying to occupy myself with things to suppress him and it's been an enlightening experience. Sure, the cravings arise, but they're no different to me as any other craving, so I let it come in, visit, then leave.
Anxiety is a killer, it consumes the mind. Once you can chip away a these self-centered motivations the space really opens up and you can see these sudden desires for what they are. In this sense, everything is coming along much better for me now. I'm eating better, exercising, being present with my family and enjoying life.
Onward!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Nice vinyl!! This mirrors my shift in thinking as well.
and this...
when I wrapped my head around this and began to practice it...not just with addiction but with any hindrance...wow...extremely powerful.
Thanks for posting.
and this...
Sure, the cravings arise, but they're no different to me as any other craving, so I let it come in, visit, then leave.
Thanks for posting.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
For me, my AV is all too real, in my experience. For me to evaluate my AV as unreal is to defeat my awareness of recognising my AV from myself. It would follow from there that I would in fact be creating an even greater influence from my AV as I continued to generalize it as nothing more than unreality.
My AV is in fact, a collected harvesting of my own thoughts. My own very real thoughts, to be sure...
In any case, nice going on your not drinking. Awesome!
My AV is in fact, a collected harvesting of my own thoughts. My own very real thoughts, to be sure...
In any case, nice going on your not drinking. Awesome!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
Originally Posted by vinyl
On previous attempts to sober up I would fight the AV, struggle with suppressing him by using other methods of distraction. But I've found this time it was much easier realizing he's not real, just another construct in my mind, another distraction I don't have to run from. I let him walk in, kick up his feet, stay as long as he needs to and eventually, he leaves on his own.
Ancient Buddhist stories tell of Mara, the personification of temptation and distraction, approaching the Buddha. Each time Mara approached, the Buddha simply said, “Mara, I see you,” and Mara fled. Because the Buddha knew Mara thoroughly, his act of clear seeing was effective in bringing freedom.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA.
Posts: 235
Originally Posted by RobbyRobot 
For me, my AV is all too real, in my experience. For me to evaluate my AV as unreal is to defeat my awareness of recognising my AV from myself. It would follow from there that I would in fact be creating an even greater influence from my AV as I continued to generalize it as nothing more than unreality.
My AV is in fact, a collected harvesting of my own thoughts. My own very real thoughts, to be sure...
In any case, nice going on your not drinking. Awesome!
My AV is in fact, a collected harvesting of my own thoughts. My own very real thoughts, to be sure...
In any case, nice going on your not drinking. Awesome!
This is my understanding, not anyone elses. The way I see it, a harvesting of your own thoughts is in fact perfectly natural, no one said don't think. However, attaching a name or giving this so called AV a reality is simply a construct we manipulate in dualistic thinking, a "me vs. it" rationale. When in fact there is no "it" at all. There is just your thoughts but they are not a "beast", the "devil" or any other character in the real world.
They are your thoughts, the firing of synapses based upon your own perception of your experience. I have no longer given those thoughts or "AV" substance. I have decided those thoughts are the same as any thoughts and have no physical control over this moment, the here and now. With that I've been able to close the gap between a thought and my reaction. Instead of holding onto the anxiety of that construct, I realize immediately it holds no tangible value whatsoever and I am able to let it arise within me and then let it go as quickly as it came, without having to fight it as many seem to be doing with this "beast" they've given a life.
Whereas before, the construct would arise, but I attached a reality to it, a beast. When you carry around a thought as a realized, separate animal, you have then entered duality and have an object for which you are struggling against. This is my own understanding, and this is what works for me.
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Thanks Dee,
My particular spin on this has really transformed my way of approaching my past struggles with alcohol. And I'm just hoping my understanding doesnt make too many people angry, as it is just my understanding of it. However if you feel I start stepping over the line just set me straight and I'll back off. I just feel compelled to share the way that worked for me, and it's not 100% in line with the current AVRT program and I hope that's ok with everyone. I can see how that might irritate a few adherents to that system, but I sincerely mean well.
My particular spin on this has really transformed my way of approaching my past struggles with alcohol. And I'm just hoping my understanding doesnt make too many people angry, as it is just my understanding of it. However if you feel I start stepping over the line just set me straight and I'll back off. I just feel compelled to share the way that worked for me, and it's not 100% in line with the current AVRT program and I hope that's ok with everyone. I can see how that might irritate a few adherents to that system, but I sincerely mean well.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Thanks, Vinyl.
I've no problem with your personal or particular take on whatever, I just wanted some dialogue to better understand your understanding, and let you hear mine. I hope you feel I'm being supportive and respective of you, while sharing my thoughts, and so together we're just sharing our experiences. I feel respected by you, and I believe its mutual.
I'm sure you already know folks don't have to be in lock-step agreement around here, lol, other wise you wouldn't even be sharing, neither would I, so I'm confident we understand each other enough, we simply have different experiences, no problemo. I'm hardly an example myself of conformity, hahaha.
Bravo!
I've no problem with your personal or particular take on whatever, I just wanted some dialogue to better understand your understanding, and let you hear mine. I hope you feel I'm being supportive and respective of you, while sharing my thoughts, and so together we're just sharing our experiences. I feel respected by you, and I believe its mutual.
I'm sure you already know folks don't have to be in lock-step agreement around here, lol, other wise you wouldn't even be sharing, neither would I, so I'm confident we understand each other enough, we simply have different experiences, no problemo. I'm hardly an example myself of conformity, hahaha.
Bravo!
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Vinyl, I don't think there is any dogma nor any bible of prescriptions here. There is no line to be crossed or maintained. One of the reasons we are here in this SR sandbox is to find a place where this sort of discussion is welcome and encouraged.
As I understand AVRT, its formal duality enables less mindful folks like me to make that initial foray into self reflection, observation and separation to achieve the rational goal of sobriety. As my practice has matured and I have become more comfortable with the presence of my AV, I understand that my acceptance of it as part of me is part of my big plan. This has lead to a more unified non-dual understanding of myself and one with which I am at peace.
I liked your take on this, thanks for sharing it.
As I understand AVRT, its formal duality enables less mindful folks like me to make that initial foray into self reflection, observation and separation to achieve the rational goal of sobriety. As my practice has matured and I have become more comfortable with the presence of my AV, I understand that my acceptance of it as part of me is part of my big plan. This has lead to a more unified non-dual understanding of myself and one with which I am at peace.
I liked your take on this, thanks for sharing it.
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