candi7

So my young adult daughter (17 year old-my sponsor said I should call her this to validate her effort at independence) made me upset that she corrected me and pointed out my missing a dish in the sink.. I told my sponsor this morning that we had a minor spat yesterday and everything that happened. I don't like when my daughter has a disrespecting tone with me and it hurts my feeling. HA, I thought I'd have my sponsor telling me... She should respect you, she's your daughter. INSTEAD I got- you have to earn her RESPECT-I'm like WHAT??? (I said that in my mind-ha I didn't want a lecture) Then she pointed out that I'm expected to be a responsible adult/parent and do my part around around the house. I even tried to say-hey I don't nag her when she leaves things around and doesn't snap to it and do her part... She wouldn't hear that.. LOL
Then she proceeded to tell me how I should be treating her and what I should be doing around the house. I know these are suggestions-but they are for my own good. So yes, I'm doing my laundry today and I've been picking up after myself BETTER.. She even modeled how I should talk with her (when her tone upsets me) and how supportive of school I should be.. I'm like WOW, this really isn't just all about me.. HA, I can't manipulate this lady (Reference to my blog-lmbo) I guess I will be more grateful!

What I did learn. The spat happened earlier in the day, we actually worked it out ourselves-no mediation (the man is away). My head was spinning later into the night-so I did my guided meditation along with taking my nightly prescribed sleeping pill (doesn't seem to always work) but let me tell you-the meditation quieted my mind (SOOO THANKFUL) and when I laid down to sleep-I was sleeping in about 10 minutes.. And for my once out of control manic mind-that's awesome-I slept a little longer than normal-SOOO THANKFUL... I also learned that I have to be completely honest with the Sponsor and follow what suggestions and homework she gives me. She tells me to get my laundry done today and do my part around the house-wow-really?? Ok, I said yes mam! LOL... I found that the roof leaked last night, so I did the responsible thing and called the landlord-I could have sooo played the helpless blond-calling the one I love and crying-Help me dear man, I'm helpless-I can't do it without your fine self... BUT I DIDN'T-I'd like to say by myself-but my SPONSOR told me-HEY call the landlord (it's the responsible thing to do)...I did call the man and tell him that I did my part and he validated I did the right thing and he seemed happy to hear from me-No manipulation required.. yay.. But I started to look at my mental to do list and think about other things I needed to not neglect this morning-and I did them! Wow this is empowering.. I could have sooo been mad at the sponsor (wouldn't be justified) and not do what she wanted-but it really did make my day better. And I'm doing it all with an attitude of gratitude and that's working for me! OH and the people that love me LOVE my SPONSOR without even knowing her-it's that they know I can't get away with ANYTHING and I'm getting EASIER TO DEAL WITH or at least have a better teacher. She calls me on my Bull Crap, brings me back to reality, doesn't let me play victim or manipulate and makes me stand and face it.. but she loves me all the same!