Kedakari

Well, I have not touched any illegal drugs. About a month or two ago I posted my journey through withdraw from opiates. Since I stopped posting I managed to land in the hospital. They put me up on a pretty high dose of dilaudid. 4mg IV every 2-4 hours, and you can bet after a week I was on that call button every 2 hours calling for my pain medication. At first I needed it for the pain, then I needed it for the pain it caused to not have it.
Well, they sent me home with 60 4mg pills and they vanished in a week. I made the last 10 last me 4 days. Weening off. I recognized the old addict in me.

Here we go again. This time I doubt it will be so bad. At the start of this post has been 12 hours since I last took dilaudid. The amount was only .5mg.
I've been feeling bloated all day. Lack of energy... for the most part preparing for worse to come.

CarolD

hope your de tox runs smoothly...

Kedakari

Last night was the WORST RLS I've ever had. I'm worn out. I feel like I was boxing the sheets all night.
24 hours clean.. little nausea... grumpy.. overall "Meh"

Kedakari

29.5 Hours: Stomach feels uneasy, but manageable. I've managed to work out a little. Aches and pains, and a general "meh" mood. Sometimes I'll feel edgy, other times I get real depressed then swing back to a fighting mood.
I dont feel my symptoms getting worse. If anything, they have improved. This tells me a lot and it looks like I'll be recovering quickly.
I managed to work up a fear about being sick, but once I just get to it, its not so bad.

finaltime

I am so proud of you!!! You can do this. That is great that you are able to get out and move around a bit, that will help you tremendously. Put on a funny movie when you feel down, call a friend to laugh or cry, whatever you need. Just feel it. It will past. I hated those dreadful days when you first come off, and time seems to stop. They are the WORST, but the great thing is it gets better. I forced myself to sit in meetings the first time I really really had major withdrawals. I had too. I was so tired of crapping myself, throwing up at work, and being in bed, and missing work (and I am a teacher). I realized the meetings made me laugh, they made me feel better. After they were over I would be sad, dread going home, but someone would ask me for coffee or just to sit. Reach out if you need. We are here for you!

Kedakari

32 hours later... Holy crap. The whole line about my symptoms feeling improved rather than worse was a fluke. The calm before the storm. Vomit is coming out of me at volumes I never knew my gut could hold.
I almost placed a phone call for a suboxone, but I held out. I figure I've made it this far, adding a sub in there could only make things worse.
As for the vomiting, I've taken 25Mg Phenergan and it's done the trick, for now.
I'm feeling so gross right now. My face feels like its going to fall off. I can feel my heart in my stomach.
Ugghh... It can only get better tomorrow.

FMTT

Kicking any opiate suxx but it sounds like your almost past the worst of it Ked. Hang in there and good luck on finding freedom again. Good move on not starting subs at this point too. Being a slave to a drug sucks worse than the hassle of kicking it.

Kedakari

50 hours in... Things are bad. I'm searching for anything to release me from this hell. I'm warm, or cold. I constantly need to move, but I'm too worn out for movement. I want to scream and cry, but I cant make the tears come out.
Stomach is gurggling. It feels hot.
I think I'm at my peek, at least I hope so.. I cant take much more.

Kedakari

51 hours. I talked on the phone with a health care nurse. She told me I was doing everything I could do. I've calmed down since, but I still feel like garbage. An hour ago was the combination of feeling sick and a panic attack. I feel like everything is shifting from a painful physical state to a mental one now.
I need to fight this. I feel like I need to do everything I can to purge the drug out of my body.

Kedakari

55 hours... This is the worst I've ever felt. Moving is labored. Heart beating out of chest. Bad bad heart burn and panic. I'm so worn out but I cant lay still.
I'm hardly managing. Trying to burn time. I'll sit in the shower full blast heat for 40 min. I've done so at least ten times by now. I've been ordered to cut back the phenergan. I'm told it could do more harm to my situation than good.
Holding on to every fiber that is me. 40 dollars in my pocket and a friend of mine just picked up a script. Keeping strength. Crying if I have to. I made it this far, I cant let myself slip. I felt I've said tomorrow will be better at least 20 times.
Will tomorrow be any better? I'm not convinced right now.

Tiredofdrugs

Ked: I know exactly what you are going thru. I'm on day 10 of coming off my opiates. I will tell you this. For your hot/cold flashes. I chew up 4 baby asprin to stop that. You can get a small OTC bottle of meds for the RLS at walmart. Drink lots of water to flush your system. I go outside and walk in a large circle under our street light to help my RLS too. Anything you normally have taken for energy in the past is a BIG no no right now. It will only make your RLS worse. So stay away from it. The more you sit, the longer it will take to get over this. It will also cause the RLS to continue.

YOU HAVE TO GET UP AND TRY TO MOVE AROUND. If it's just standing in one place, moving your feet heel to toe, back and forth. That's moving and putting your body in a different position. Try to get yourself on a regular awake and sleep time. This will improve things also. If you need a nap, then take one, just don't sleep until you wake up. That will leave you awake and more stressed.

You WILL get thru this. Just keep remembering this. I've gone off the opiates many times CT. I've posted all the reasons I've ended up back on them and now I've posted whats to come. So I'm not going to repeat here.

I wish you well and just keep writing the number of days in the dust on your headboard or put a star on each day you are not using. When you are past the worst of it and feel you can dust that headboard. Then do so!

TOD

finaltime

Ked HANG IN THERE> Can you get to a meeting? I hope you are not doing this alone. I wish I could help. If it helps you any, I have been there. ON my worst cold turkey withdrawal from opiates I was literally puking in the trashcan in my classroom. (I am a teacher, how pathetic) No kids were there, at least. I was in the bathroom for 4 full days, near death I thought. I live overseas so I called my mom several times throughout the day and just sobbed.I made it though. You will get through this. YOU MUST GET UP and move. Try your best. Hang in there and please keep posting.

Kedakari

74 hours, weak. I just cant make my body do what I want it too. I feel like I need to eat, but if I eat I feel bloated and I vomit. I've gotten out of the house for a little bit. Walking makes me feel like I'm going to faint. I sat in the hot shower for an hour. At times I dont know what end fluids want to come from.
I feel like garbage.

Tiredofdrugs

Ked: You have to ask yourself? How many more detoxes do I have in me? How many more times do I want to feel like this? How many more days do I want to waste away like this? I know right now, you're thinking, NEVER! And you are absolutely right. But you need to print out your post above this one and put it somewhere that it will be a reminder to yourself, probably every DAY! Because in the near future. You'll be feeling good and have an oppurtunity to use again. Maybe with the printout you saw wherever you put it to look at each morning will help you to NOT use.

You seriously need to get substances in your body. You aren't going to heal very well if you aren't eating. You'll end up back in the hospital with a feeding tube in ya. I got a gallon of milk and some slimfast powder to make shakes. It's filling and you'll be able to get these down. You can drink as many of these in a day as you want to. Toast with peanut butter spread on it is also a healthy food. Campbell soups too. Even if it's a few bites at a time. Do it. That's all I could manage in the first five days. I had to force myself to eat, but it did make me start feeling better. It helped me to start getting my energy back too.

On day three, which you are now is about the time the drugs should be finally out of your system. This is the turnabout point for you. Start putting healthy stuff into your body to help yourself start healing from the inside out.

You have to look at the facts here. If you are going thru this kind of hell because of not putting drugs into your body. Stop and consider what the drugs are doing to you. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 52. I'm a 100% DAV, with 22 years in the ARNG, which I could have retired at 20 years. I was medically discharged though. This last go round coming off the opiates really took a toll on my mind and body. I'm on day 11 now and still haven't bounced back like I have in the past. So I don't EVEN want to experience this again. With each detox, it gets harder and longer to come back to my life off of them. So ask yourself, how long and how many times can I go thru this and not have physical results showing what the drugs have done to me?

Keep us updated!

TOD

Kedakari

76hours... Sick of being sick. Worked out for 20 min. Having good and bad times.
while I've been sick I have managed to keep a hawk eye on my diabetes. I've been eating, and trying to at least stay under a 200 level.
My mind set has switched from "Save me" to "Get the hell outta my way"
If this is the last day this junk is in me then its time to purge the rest out and get better.
I'll keep it up on the fluids & fruits.

Tiredofdrugs

Ked: Be careful with your workouts. I got a feel good and cleaned house like a mad woman for two days. Then I took a nose dive. It beat me up physically! LOL Mentally I'm back to true form. I've been taking care of things where I can sit and go thru stuff. Stand and walk where and when I have the energy.

TOD

Kedakari

77 hours. Feeling slightly better. Crossing my fingers that it stays this way. Drank some tea, a plum extract. About to cook some cream of chicken soup with rice. Then I'll work out some more. Managing so far. Emotionally up and down.

finaltime

wow, working out already? that is insane. I am 5 months clean and still do not have the motivation to work out! Brain is still healing, tired at times, but overall amazing. Way to go!!!!!!!

Tiredofdrugs

Ked: Getting good sources of protein in your system is an important thing right now. My husband made sure I had a little bit of steak to eat several days in a row. I couldn't eat much but it did seem to improve my overall energy level. It doesn't have to be steak, just meat in general. It tasted like cardboard in the beginning, but I chewed it up and got it swallowed anyway. LOL My body had been craving good stuff w/o the opiates to interfere in the good it was doing for me. Food is tasting differently. Much better!

Also try to watch shows that make you laugh. Laughter releases the endorphines in your brain that helps you to feel good. It does work! You are going to cry a lot too. We haven't had our true emotions in a long time. Now that the opiates are leaving our systems. All of those feelings are coming alive again.

I don't know your age or status. If you can workout and it helps. Then by all means do so. If you have to munch on carrots to keep from putting a drug in your mouth. Then do so! Do whatever it takes to help you feel better. Your energy will return, it's just your mind is going to clear up before your energy returns. You are going to feel alive and ready to get moving again, only your body isn't going to quite be ready yet. If my body felt as good as my mind does. Hell I would already have had tons of stuff done around here. LOL

Just give it time. I know you've heard that a hundred times already. But think about it. How long were you using before the drugs took over your life and you made the decision to turn your life around. Time is time upon time, time and time again. So time will get you back to your healthier self. Just don't waste anymore time ON the drugs controlling your life.

TOD

likehappiness

Ked....my DOC was dilaudid. Hope you are hanging in there. After the 4th day you will start to feel a very small amount better. Then every day will be better from there. Keep that immodium handy...that will be next for a couple weeks.