wow04

A place to give a mini lead, I love it. I am to tell what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now.

I am the youngest out of 5 kids and the only girl. My two oldest brothers are from my dad’s first marriage and are 14 and 16 years older than I. So I didn’t grow up with them. I remember getting my dad a beer from the fridge and taking drinks before I handed it to him at such an early age. No matter what we did or where we went, as a family, there was always alcohol. When I was 10 my brother that is 8 years older than me got into a car wreck. He was drinking and driving and hit a tree. He almost died. I remember the phone ringing in the middle of the night and being rushed to my grandparent’s house. That is also the time I found out that he wasn’t my real brother, my dad adopted him as he was from my mom’s first marriage. That just broke my heart. He might have been 8 years older, but I was the closest to him. After he got out of the hospital he went to rehab. I remember us going 2 states away for family week. Shortly after getting back my mom started Alanon and my dad kept drinking. At age 12 my parents divorced. At this time I found out my brother was drinking again and I found where he hid it. I would sneak into the barn and drink as much as I could. My mom found out about my drinking and made me go to rehab at age 14. I was sober 9 months when I found pot. Every night I would get drunk and smoke pot. My mom found out and gave me the option of rehab again or move out. I called my dad and moved in with him. He worked 2nd shift. At age 15 I started dating my drug dealer who was 18 at the time. By this point I was taking pills, smoking pot, drinking, and using LSD on a regular basis. At age 16 I found out I was pregnant. I smoked pot throughout my pregnancy. After my daughter was born I went straight back to the other drugs. At age 18 my drug dealer boyfriend decided to steal drugs from another dealer.

After having a gun to my head it was like the stuff I learned in rehab came back to me. I told my boyfriend I was done and was going to quit, which meant the relationship was over. I called my mom and told her I needed help. She laid down the rules for me and my daughter to live with her and I agreed. At this time my brother that is 8 years older than me was clean and sober. He took me to a meeting every night. I spent 3 years being sober and using I just couldn’t get it. I moved to a new town after being clean and sober for 7 months. I was determined I was going to get drunk. I ended up at a meeting and this elderly woman came up to me and told me how bad I looked and I needed help. She became my sponsor and I got completely honest with her. We worked the steps. She taught me how to apply the steps in my daily life.

I have been clean and sober for over 9 years and a lot has happened in those years. My dad passed away, I got married, had 3 more kids, got divorced, my sponsor passed away and so much more. AA gave me the tools to live life on life’s terms. Now I am the only one of us kids that is sober. It breaks my heart to watch my brothers slowly kill themselves. My mom and I have a wonderful relationship. It is so nice, we went so many years without talking. No matter what happens in life, if I use the tools and God I can get through it without a drink or a drug. I love helping the young ones that come into meetings as that was me. I sponsor 3 different girls and love every minute of it. I became a part of another family when I joined AA. I love life now. I can be a mother, a daughter, a sister, and a friend. As long as I live the steps and have contact with God, I can stay clean and sober!!