Weasel1966

that I drank...

Off to work today.

F counting days.

hypochondriac

Sorry to hear that Ken, what happened? Hope you're okay :ghug3

Dee74

Noone here will be happy to hear that Ken.
What's your next move?

D

OklaBH

Im not happy that you drank at all. I feel bad for you. I know as well as anyone how bad it hurts to lose it when youve been doing so good. Today is a new day my friend. Take care of you.

MyTimeNow

I'm sure nobody will be happy to hear that Ken. Take care today and get back on the sober horse, you can do it

Weasel1966

My partner and I never get to be around others like us... so when in NYC yesterday we stopped in a place... I had no idea the effect it would have on me. I know... I should have... but i did not.

next move.... always the same Dee... pick my sorry a$$ up and learn....

I cannot even believe that I gave anyone here the amo to see me fail but your support is worth more than their comments.

oh well...

need food and then to work. I have another big meeting this morning. I need to be on top...

will check in from there.

K

Weasel1966

I am sorry folks... I know you are not.... I know.

Just hurts.

CaiHong

Weasal,

I just posted about members going off the radar, presumably because they have started drinking again who knows. As I was composing my post about this I was also thinking about people who pick up but come back to SR and tell it how it is. I really admire that.

Yes I can understand your frustration but the beauty of it is you haven't given up.

love
CaiHong

mecanix

I certainly don't know what the NY scene is like , but maybe look for more the coffee shop end of things rather than a bar.
Isolation is a big part of what i've had to deal with , partially i try to accept i'm quite a strong person and not to everyones tastes especially on quite a shallow scene , i also use other networking sites and specificly search for non-d&d'ers for the odd message / friendship .

I always find Rob Halford a bit of an inspiration , into the same music as me , D&D free for over 25 years ..

get back to it , the fight ain't over . M

Weasel1966

I got intoxicated by the environment before I got intoxicated with anything else.

If that makes sense.

I know what I have to do..... More importantly what I want to do.....

But ... Damn... Damn damn....

I hate knowing and still being lead around by it.

This is a complex thing.... Many sides... Many facets.

I said once here that we all have many facets.... We must turn in odd ways to make them shine brilliantly.... Or not.

The pain is the hard part today.

ttbp

No one would be glad to see you've had a drink. Huge hugs and support coming your way xxx

hypochondriac

Now you know though right? I had to avoid many places where I would normally be drinking til I found my sober feet.

I don't know what the NY scene is like either, but I'm in a crappy little city in England and even we have a fab GLBT cafe which is open some evenings til late too.

You don't have to give up your entire social life, just mix it up a bit and do different things. Write a list of your danger areas and just avoid them for a bit til you have a better handle on your AV. Easier said than done I know. But it's not impossible.

Lots of love x

Live2Run25

Why would anyone be glad to see that?? I'm not. We are here to support each other in being sober. I hope you can pick back up today and move along. We all care about you.

neferkamichael

Hi Weasel. Nobody is happy that you drank. Counting days is a fundamental aspect of my sobriety. Tomorrow I'll be 2 years sober, and every day I stay sober is a victory. What I like about you is ya haven't given up, your still here. I started over a 1000 times. Believe me if Ican do it, so can you. Hang in there buddy.

Weasel1966

On long island there is nothing LGBT but bars that open at 9pm. Or groups for specific sections of people. Latino... Older... Younger....

I fit in to none of them. Middle aged average guy who happens to be gay here.

Not complaining... Well it does sound that way.

But I do accept the changes I need to make. I know what I need to do.

Just let my AV to be louder than me yesterday.

Thank you for letting me share today. I need the support of people that respect the way I am trying to get sober.

LDT

It's admirable that you posted your slip here, Weasel. As Dee said, noone is happy to hear it. None of us should ever be. I understand the "intoxication" of the big city. I live close to New Orleans, and there is a similar vibe going on. For that reason I've stayed away from there ( a town I love ) for the last 18 months. Just recently I am feeling strong enough for a visit.

I think you already know what you need to do. Be well, friend.

Dee74

I have moved this thread here from Newcomers on Weasels request.

Some posts that do not meet the Secular Forums guidelines have been removed or edited.

D

RobbyRobot

Sorry to hear you're hurting, Ken. Glad to hear you're still into abstinence. Don't sweat failure. Without failure, none of us would be anywhere. We've all been disqualified from boarding the perfection train. So, not to worry. Human is as human does.

Big Plans don't fail. We fail. We don't have to fail of course. We can successfully live in abstinence. Accepting failure is not a 'bad' thing, and in surrender we only make our success all the sweeter!

Not everyone appreciates failure, and that's okay too. It's not about agreeing or disagreeing with whoever, its about knowing what works for ourselves, being true to our understanding, being open minded, being changeable, being at our best even as we come to terms with our worst behaviors.

Hey, you can do this, no problemo. Other people do. So can you!

:ghug3

pinkdog

Nope. Not happy that you drank. Here's a hug.:ghug3

Weasel1966

Thanks!

I got edited because I posted what some one sent me in a PM.

I was told AVRT is not worth anything.

That's ok... We all have opinions.

You are correct. Big plans do not fail.