Alley241

I'm on day 24 and I can't feel happy. I'm depressed a lot, and pulling people around me down too. I don't mean to, but it's hard to hide my feelings. I have an appointment with a counselor tomorrow...but the urge to use is so strong. I need relief from this sadness.

lilyrosemary

talking with your counselor is a good thing...jot down some things that are troubling you right now so you will have them handy when you are at your appointment. feeling down is very common, so you are not alone. what i do is, even if i don't feel like it, is exercise. it really does help, but you have to keep at it for at least 20 min, get your heart pounding...i wish you the best!

frankinnc

Exercise and meditation, great quick fixes for improving your mood (Trust me, I know..would have probaly killed myself by now without them! Lol.)

neferkamichael

Hi Alley, 24 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations. I've been an addict twice as long as you have been alive. I glad you are giving it up at such a young age. Trust me, you'll be glad you did. As the days go by, the urges will decrease.

Alley241

I feel like i've become a stupid zombie person. I have absolutely no memory and doing a simple multiplication problem feels like brain surgery. I know drugs are supposed to make you stupid, but they made me smarter. If I get put on the spot I can't think at all and I look like an idiot. I become extremely embarrassed and makes my depression worse. It's like my brain doesn't work unless I have a pill in me. I'll probably fail my senior year of highschool...ugh I hate this. I was SOO smart before. I made straight A's...but now my brain doesn't work half of the time. What's happening?? Ugh

liv1ce

Your brain is still there. Part of what you are doing is finding a reason to use. Stop the negative thinking and find something positive to do. It seems you are sitting and waiting for the drugs to go away. It is equally as passive as taking the drug in the first place. We don't know what to do with our feelings or situations so we create an alternate reality that feels really good to us. All we have to do is sit back and wait for the drug to take effect. At some point you will need to take and active part in your recovery. Find something to feel good about rather than waiting for it to come along.

Alley241

So eventually my mind will come back to me?... Maybe I need an antidepressant. We'll find out at the counselor today.

Alley241

Yess...sitting here won't improve a thing. I don't know why the stuff exists. It's only temporary. Temporary pain relief and temporary happiness... It never lasts. Everything is still there. The pain and the depression. What's the point? It's not fixing the problem.

Kirisutegomen

I saw my drug counselor today. It's gonna take around 3-6 months until you will start feeling well again. It's hard to deal with that, but you can't fix addiction issues over night. We're all very selfish and wish we could.