I Need Opiates for Pain - How Do I Avoid Addiction?
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I Need Opiates for Pain - How Do I Avoid Addiction?
I've been prescribed opiates for pain. I have a herniated disc at L5S1 and it leaves me in near constant pain. Over the last year I have gradually started spending more and more time in bed because getting up and moving aroung is very painful. I'm only 28-years-old and I walk with a limp. Opiates essentially allow me to be MOBILE - so that I can do things other people take for granted, like walking me dog, going to the mall, etc.
Problem is .... I take more than the doctor prescribed. I admit I like the feeling they give me, but I honestly wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for the pain. I quickly developed a tolerance to the dose I was prescribed and I wanted my life back so I started taking more - it's the only way I could keep walking, etc.
I'm taking 60 to 100 milligrams of oxycontin a day. I'm aware of he risk of addiction so I try to take periodic breaks for a couple days every now and then. This is my fourth day sober. I have withdrawal that includes insomnia, hot/cold feelings, aching bones, etc. But it's nothing I can't handle. In fact, I'd say it was alot easier than I thought.
But how do i avoid addiction in the long term if I NEED this ****? I can'y just go cold turkey.
Playing with fire ....
Problem is .... I take more than the doctor prescribed. I admit I like the feeling they give me, but I honestly wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for the pain. I quickly developed a tolerance to the dose I was prescribed and I wanted my life back so I started taking more - it's the only way I could keep walking, etc.
I'm taking 60 to 100 milligrams of oxycontin a day. I'm aware of he risk of addiction so I try to take periodic breaks for a couple days every now and then. This is my fourth day sober. I have withdrawal that includes insomnia, hot/cold feelings, aching bones, etc. But it's nothing I can't handle. In fact, I'd say it was alot easier than I thought.
But how do i avoid addiction in the long term if I NEED this ****? I can'y just go cold turkey.
Playing with fire ....
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 313
Welcome Blu,
I was (am) in a similar situation so I'll be straight up. What I read from you sounded like what I did for many years, i.e. "I need them for pain.....I take more than prescribed....I like the feeling they give me....I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for the pain". That's called rationalization my friend. I did that too. For 10 years after being diagnosed with advanced degenerative disc disease. Mostly on my L3-L4's. So I was prescribed a modest dose of hydrocodone/APAP and they worked. Problem solved, right? Well, the undeniable truth about ingesting ANY opiate medication is that the human body, any and every human body, builds up a tolerance to that med. It doesn't take long before one has to up the dosages to get the original effect. No big deal, right? After a few years I graduated from 5mg lortabs to 7.5mg. Then after some more years I got bumped up to 10mg lortabs. More of 'em each month too. By the time I felt my mind and soul slipping away earlier this year I had graduated to approx. 100+mg/day of lortabs and oxycontins. During that 10 year stint I became educated as much as I could about my meds. I was aware of the real danger of ingesting too much APAP, so I made sure I never got close to the 4000mg/day limit. I tried the best I could to take the stuff according to my doctors scrip cause it was all legally prescribed. Most of it at least. I liked the feeling too. Finally, I had myself sold for many years on the difference between "addiction" and "chemical dependence". Sure I took them every day but "I legitimately needed them for pain". I knew I was dependent on the meds but I rationalized that the reason was valid and my active life was worth the chemical dependency. I also reminded myself that I didn't bang my meds, rail my meds (mostly), run out of my meds early (not usually) or cop my meds off criminals. Again, more rationalizations. OK, I wasn't like the stereotypical junkie fiending on the corner waiting for "his man" but I was hooked in a big way. In my opinion, when anyone takes opiates for a continued period of time that whole tolerance issue will end up kicking their ass. Opies work great for pain but if you take them for extended periods they start to numb other things in your life too. Desires, pleasures, responsibilities, plans for the future or in my case, even caring about the future. So finally, to answer your question "how do I avoid addiction in the long term?" YOU CAN NOT! Call it dependency, call it addiction, call it whatever you want because it just does not end well. I saved the answer for last cause I wanted to explain it first. BTW, taking "periodic breaks for a couple days every now and then" is called chipping and that doesn't end well for many either. Some are able to dabble but some get sucked right back in to the rabbit hole of addiction/dependence. I'll never say never. Many people told me I was an idiot to try and taper with fresh scrips sitting right next to me. Well I was determined and I did just that to try and minimize the WD's when I finally quit all opies completely about 5 weeks ago. The taper helped but there's no way to avoid the ultimate pain of withdrawal. It sucks big time but it's behind me now. I believe also that it is of utmost importance to be properly motivated to kick their DOC. This venture is not a sprint but more of a long term journey. Recovery comes in waves and has been reported before "is not linear" meaning that you'll get good days, then a bad day or two then good days again. Opiate recovery can be bizarre but with the long term abuse I did to myself, I'm not surprised. I'm not even close to the promised land yet what with the still raging insomnia, diarrhea and other assorted PAWS symptoms but I feel great! Breaking free of the bondage of whatever ones DOC is can be a very liberating experience. I highly recommend it. Good luck.
I was (am) in a similar situation so I'll be straight up. What I read from you sounded like what I did for many years, i.e. "I need them for pain.....I take more than prescribed....I like the feeling they give me....I wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't for the pain". That's called rationalization my friend. I did that too. For 10 years after being diagnosed with advanced degenerative disc disease. Mostly on my L3-L4's. So I was prescribed a modest dose of hydrocodone/APAP and they worked. Problem solved, right? Well, the undeniable truth about ingesting ANY opiate medication is that the human body, any and every human body, builds up a tolerance to that med. It doesn't take long before one has to up the dosages to get the original effect. No big deal, right? After a few years I graduated from 5mg lortabs to 7.5mg. Then after some more years I got bumped up to 10mg lortabs. More of 'em each month too. By the time I felt my mind and soul slipping away earlier this year I had graduated to approx. 100+mg/day of lortabs and oxycontins. During that 10 year stint I became educated as much as I could about my meds. I was aware of the real danger of ingesting too much APAP, so I made sure I never got close to the 4000mg/day limit. I tried the best I could to take the stuff according to my doctors scrip cause it was all legally prescribed. Most of it at least. I liked the feeling too. Finally, I had myself sold for many years on the difference between "addiction" and "chemical dependence". Sure I took them every day but "I legitimately needed them for pain". I knew I was dependent on the meds but I rationalized that the reason was valid and my active life was worth the chemical dependency. I also reminded myself that I didn't bang my meds, rail my meds (mostly), run out of my meds early (not usually) or cop my meds off criminals. Again, more rationalizations. OK, I wasn't like the stereotypical junkie fiending on the corner waiting for "his man" but I was hooked in a big way. In my opinion, when anyone takes opiates for a continued period of time that whole tolerance issue will end up kicking their ass. Opies work great for pain but if you take them for extended periods they start to numb other things in your life too. Desires, pleasures, responsibilities, plans for the future or in my case, even caring about the future. So finally, to answer your question "how do I avoid addiction in the long term?" YOU CAN NOT! Call it dependency, call it addiction, call it whatever you want because it just does not end well. I saved the answer for last cause I wanted to explain it first. BTW, taking "periodic breaks for a couple days every now and then" is called chipping and that doesn't end well for many either. Some are able to dabble but some get sucked right back in to the rabbit hole of addiction/dependence. I'll never say never. Many people told me I was an idiot to try and taper with fresh scrips sitting right next to me. Well I was determined and I did just that to try and minimize the WD's when I finally quit all opies completely about 5 weeks ago. The taper helped but there's no way to avoid the ultimate pain of withdrawal. It sucks big time but it's behind me now. I believe also that it is of utmost importance to be properly motivated to kick their DOC. This venture is not a sprint but more of a long term journey. Recovery comes in waves and has been reported before "is not linear" meaning that you'll get good days, then a bad day or two then good days again. Opiate recovery can be bizarre but with the long term abuse I did to myself, I'm not surprised. I'm not even close to the promised land yet what with the still raging insomnia, diarrhea and other assorted PAWS symptoms but I feel great! Breaking free of the bondage of whatever ones DOC is can be a very liberating experience. I highly recommend it. Good luck.
Well.. in recovery I've found that I can tolerate a whole lot more pain than I thought. I also practice meditation, yoga and guided relaxation. My doctor knows that I cannot (will not) take any narcotic pain medications due to my addictions history and preference in recovery. Turned it into a no brainer for me.. no pain meds= find another way to deal.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1
What is so wrong with needing your medication and taking it as prescibed!? i have been taking oxys since 2000, and my quality of life has improved. i am only on here because my pills were stolen and my doc is gone till jan 1. i am counting the days, never felt this sick in my life and i am on day 8-9, not getting better. someone have an answer for me, besides 'it gets better, or good for u. i feel sick and i can;t stand it anymore!
BluShades, I have to agree with FMTT, the only way to avoid addiction at this point is to go off the opiates and find other alternatives to treat your pain.
I started for legitimate pain, too. Maybe a couple of codeine tablets per week. Then switched to vicodin, 5mg, then 7.5, then 10 mg taking more and more per day. The tylenol started getting to me so I started on oxycodone, having no idea what it really was, just that it was the only opiate (or so I thought) without added otc's. Only a couple of oxy a day......when I stopped I was taking up to 500mg per day, snorting and injecting it.
It is just a highly addictive medicine. And tolerance, dependence happen first on the way to fullblown addiction. It sucks but it's all too true. You'll see your story repeated over and over on SR.
I'm starting to explore other pain relief options--external pain relievers like menthol etc., herbal meds (NOT marijuana) and supplements, trigger point injections, and physical therapy. There are other options including meditation, acupuncture, pain management support groups, massage. I will hopefully include more of them, cost is the issue for me. Hopefully you can find help and relief by using some or all of these modalities.
Being on Soberrecovery is helpful, too. Knowing others know what you're going through is healing medicine, too.
Take care.
I started for legitimate pain, too. Maybe a couple of codeine tablets per week. Then switched to vicodin, 5mg, then 7.5, then 10 mg taking more and more per day. The tylenol started getting to me so I started on oxycodone, having no idea what it really was, just that it was the only opiate (or so I thought) without added otc's. Only a couple of oxy a day......when I stopped I was taking up to 500mg per day, snorting and injecting it.
It is just a highly addictive medicine. And tolerance, dependence happen first on the way to fullblown addiction. It sucks but it's all too true. You'll see your story repeated over and over on SR.
I'm starting to explore other pain relief options--external pain relievers like menthol etc., herbal meds (NOT marijuana) and supplements, trigger point injections, and physical therapy. There are other options including meditation, acupuncture, pain management support groups, massage. I will hopefully include more of them, cost is the issue for me. Hopefully you can find help and relief by using some or all of these modalities.
Being on Soberrecovery is helpful, too. Knowing others know what you're going through is healing medicine, too.
Take care.
What is so wrong with needing your medication and taking it as prescibed!? i have been taking oxys since 2000, and my quality of life has improved. i am only on here because my pills were stolen and my doc is gone till jan 1. i am counting the days, never felt this sick in my life and i am on day 8-9, not getting better. someone have an answer for me, besides 'it gets better, or good for u. i feel sick and i can;t stand it anymore!
If your meds were stolen is there an oncall doctor you can call who can help you out? If your withdrawal symptoms get unbearable you could call that doctor or go to the er, they can give you medications to help lessen the symptoms. Good luck.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 675
Your story brings many things to mind that I would like to say but won't at this point as I have heard it so many times. I have told it so many times relative to my own life. I am in the medical field in an area in which pain is a major component in my patients lives. Most are on some type of opiate medication. Almost all are hooked on it. A known fact is that the more the addiction and tolerance grows the greater the pain and disability. I can attest to this directly as I am as much an addict as anyone. I just happen to have recovered from it - at least at this time in my life.
For a number of the people that I deal with the medication drives the bus. The need for the medication drives the bus.
Virtually all who clean themselves of the drug - although equally convinced that they cannot function, walk, "enjoy the things that others take for granted" - as you find that the pain is much less without it.
The withdrawals you describe indicate your already existing addiction and are repeated constantly and are experienced daily by those on this site.
For a number of the people that I deal with the medication drives the bus. The need for the medication drives the bus.
Virtually all who clean themselves of the drug - although equally convinced that they cannot function, walk, "enjoy the things that others take for granted" - as you find that the pain is much less without it.
The withdrawals you describe indicate your already existing addiction and are repeated constantly and are experienced daily by those on this site.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 340
That's a tough one. I get pain to although maybe not as much as you. My choice for 2013 is not to use opiates to treat it because I always take more than prescribed and I can't do it. However if you need them for quality of life I would give them to someone who is a non addict. This person can give you exactly what you need for that day. Just a suggestion. If you can't do that I would say its addiction.
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Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 243
BluShades,
IMO the key problem reading your post is where you say, "I admit I like the feeling they gave me."
I had a ruptured disc at a similar age and went through a horrible amount of pain for several months. I couldn't stand, sit, lie down, do ANYTHING without severe pain. Gradually after the first several months it started to subside, gradually healing naturally which took about 3 years. I still was in pain, but it lessened as time went on. The first several weeks I was prescribed Percocet 5mg. and at the time I actually just took them sparingly, somehow coping with the pain.
Yet after a lifetime of dabbling in drugs recreationally, in which I always could "take it or leave it" up to age 51, then, boom! after reconstructive surgery on my thumb, again being prescribed straight oxycodone it became an entirely different matter. Use turned to abuse, and turned to physical dependency/addiction. I have multiple chronic pain issues from arthritis, and there's one thing for certain, which seems prevalent in many people: like others have mentioned, chronic use of oxy seems to lessen your body's ability to tolerate pain and seems to make it worse. The concept is called opiate-induced hyperalgesia. See here:
Opioid-induced hyperalgesia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I found that when I finally got the courage up to go cold turkey, over time my pain lessened...but it took awhile. It's difficult to live in pain, I do it everyday. On the occasions where I still take a little for tasks that are just too daunting (such as hanging drywall in the shop I've been building, something more suited to strong, young men rather than an obese, arthritic middle aged woman like myself) I've found that for a day or so after I have increased pain...so I know that no matter how much I hurt, going back to daily use will NEVER be an option, and not just because of the physical (and later, resultant mental) dependancy/addiction that results.
I would encourage you to seek out an actual pain management doctor or consider surgery. I almost had surgery for my disc issue, but couldn't stand the thought of a scalpel near my spinal cord...it was more scary to me than the pain.
Good luck. I hope you can find a viable alternative and that you disc heals in less time than mine did.
IMO the key problem reading your post is where you say, "I admit I like the feeling they gave me."
I had a ruptured disc at a similar age and went through a horrible amount of pain for several months. I couldn't stand, sit, lie down, do ANYTHING without severe pain. Gradually after the first several months it started to subside, gradually healing naturally which took about 3 years. I still was in pain, but it lessened as time went on. The first several weeks I was prescribed Percocet 5mg. and at the time I actually just took them sparingly, somehow coping with the pain.
Yet after a lifetime of dabbling in drugs recreationally, in which I always could "take it or leave it" up to age 51, then, boom! after reconstructive surgery on my thumb, again being prescribed straight oxycodone it became an entirely different matter. Use turned to abuse, and turned to physical dependency/addiction. I have multiple chronic pain issues from arthritis, and there's one thing for certain, which seems prevalent in many people: like others have mentioned, chronic use of oxy seems to lessen your body's ability to tolerate pain and seems to make it worse. The concept is called opiate-induced hyperalgesia. See here:
Opioid-induced hyperalgesia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
I found that when I finally got the courage up to go cold turkey, over time my pain lessened...but it took awhile. It's difficult to live in pain, I do it everyday. On the occasions where I still take a little for tasks that are just too daunting (such as hanging drywall in the shop I've been building, something more suited to strong, young men rather than an obese, arthritic middle aged woman like myself) I've found that for a day or so after I have increased pain...so I know that no matter how much I hurt, going back to daily use will NEVER be an option, and not just because of the physical (and later, resultant mental) dependancy/addiction that results.
I would encourage you to seek out an actual pain management doctor or consider surgery. I almost had surgery for my disc issue, but couldn't stand the thought of a scalpel near my spinal cord...it was more scary to me than the pain.
Good luck. I hope you can find a viable alternative and that you disc heals in less time than mine did.
What is so wrong with needing your medication and taking it as prescibed!? i have been taking oxys since 2000, and my quality of life has improved. i am only on here because my pills were stolen and my doc is gone till jan 1. i am counting the days, never felt this sick in my life and i am on day 8-9, not getting better. someone have an answer for me, besides 'it gets better, or good for u. i feel sick and i can;t stand it anymore!
When I go to er for my migraines Toradol is one of the meds they give me, it is truly amazing. Also, my former doctor had hip replacement surgery and toradol was the only med she took. You do need to be careful with it, though, as toradol can be hard on the kidneys and other organs. As stated above, talk to a pain mgt. doctor.
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 313
Ummm, does everyone realize that the OP was from last June? Blushades made his/her one and only post back then before disappearing into the night. I'm sure many folks can be helped by the info posted by others on this thread but I wanted to point out the obvious. Many recover from substance abuse and many do not. Some stick around and some do not. There are some faithful regulars here but many of the folks I looked forward to reading from when i first came around last April are now gone. Maybe they're doing just fine with their program of recovery and don't need this site. Maybe not. Substance addicts (especially former opiate heads) don't exactly have good odds for staying clean and sober. That's why I keep coming back. It's depressing to read about pain and despair over and over again but I never want to forget that feeling myself. Being clean is one of the best feelings on earth and it gives me great satisfaction to know that I've put my 10 year habit behind me. Finally. For now at least. The steady effort between my ears to keep my thoughts on track is never ending though. My addiction lies in waiting for my to "slip" just once. When those thoughts regularly appear, I remind myself what an old timer used to say many years ago for another addiction..."remember where you come from, bum". Life is too short to waste on soul sucking substances so I will never forget where I was and how that felt.
I didn't realize that FMTT and I almost always notice that in other threads. But like you said, maybe it will help someone else, maybe someone who is just lurking for now. For me it's good to keep repeating to myself why I'm in recovery, why I have to STAY in recovery.
Hi TOD. Happy New Year to you as well! Hope all is well with you. This is off topic but as the OP is long gone I reckon it's okay. Wanted to tell you there's another meteor shower on the morning of Jan. 3. It's called the Quadrantid meteor shower, named for an obsolete constellation. It's supposed to emanate from the NE and be most active a few hours before dawn. Maybe you can see another big one! If it's clear I'll be giving it a look.
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