MsEasilyAmused

Day 3 of getting of roxy's was doing about 160-240mg a day woke up and decided I couldn't handle feeling like **** every morning for hours until the pills hit took the last of my script and cancelled my appointment with the pain management doctor. Starting to reallllllllllly regret that decision. I could call probably and get a one time refill without an appointment since I've been seeing him for so long but then the last 3 days would have been for nothing. How long does it take for these horrible physical symptoms to lessen? I can't stand up without feeling like I am going to pass out, my entire body is on fire and rolling over in my bed is the biggest chore I can imagine. I am so weak its pathetic. I just have to talk myself into getting up to pee. I'm so out of it yawning and goosebumps every other minute how many more days of hell?! Ugh this is the worst feeling ever. Been on the pills. a year and a half quit about a year ago for three weeks and no major symptoms just hip and leg pain for 24 hours and it was mild but when I went back to the pills I went back hard and I have never felt anything like this in my life.

MsEasilyAmused

Just found 10 pills I stashed when I got my script filled last month. I'm having a giant mental battle with myself over taking them or flushing them. 1/2 of me says take them and just 1/4 or 1/2 at a time. The non-addict side of my brain says it'll only start all over again.

liv1ce

It WILL only start all over again. Flush them and get on with it. You have a few more days of feeling crappy but you should note that you are gradually feeling better. Everyone is different with which symptoms and how long. If you do the pills you have then the withdrawal starts all over again. You get no credit for time served. If you use them to try to taper it is almost guaranteed to fail.

MsEasilyAmused

I agree, well at least half of me does. I actually feel worse today than I have yet. Its really really bad. I've never gone through anything like this before. I encouraged my husband to go visit some family out of town then backed out of going myself b/c of the 'flu' I want him to come home to a wife who doesn't gobble up pills all day. Its so gross! I never even liked take tylenol or any pills before I feel my throat almost closes uo when I do so how did I end up here taking 10-14 pills a day. This is so horrible.

liv1ce

The problem - among many - is that you know that if you take only one of the pills you found you will feel better and then it starts all over again. You know that and don't forget it. Start to think more positively. If you have truly been off the pills for these many days ther must be something that is better although in general it feels bad. It really will get better. The first few times I tried to quit I became so involved in how weak and useless I felt that I gave in to the fuckiing pills. I didn't know anything and was afraid it would always feel that way. Please just stay the course.

FMTT

Hang in there Ms.EA, it does get much better. Give yourself 10 days tops for the worst of the physical WD symptoms. Not comparing to you but I took opiates a lot longer and some of the physical stuff (insomnia, diarrhea) is still persisting even after a month clean. If you want this, trust me when I tell you, that the real challenge will come after the physical woes subside but the drug continues to talk to you. Big time. Give it one weak moment and it'll have you convinced that relapse is totally appropriate. Good luck.

Opio

It is hard to say how long it will last because everyone is different. However, if you have made it through the first three days then you have already made it through a great deal. For what its worth, the third day / night was the worst for me, but my DOC was heroin not OC.

One thing that might help is to not worry about tomorrow, but just today. Just for today you won't use. It doesn't really matter if you would feel like a million bucks tomorrow if you don't make it through today. That's a lot easier said than done, and I there will probably be times of despair when you are convinced that it will never end. That is just the addict talking. It will get better. Keep reminding yourself that you will never have to go through this again.

I have yet to meet anyone who took their DOC (to taper) while kicking and was successful. I know a lot of people who tried (myself included), and we all fell flat on our faces. If you flush the rest of your pills it will be the best thing for you and you won't have to torture yourself over it anymore. That one is definitely easier said than done, but you have to make up your mind how much you want it.

By the way, you are going to get sick either way - even if you taper. Once you get a habit beyond a certain point you have to pay the piper one way or the other. I don't say that to be discouraging, but I would hate for you to think that tapering is an easy way out. Even if it were possible to do a taper with your DOC successfully, it would mean that you have to suffer longer.

MsEasilyAmused

Its the insomnia that's killing me I am so weak and tired and being unable to sleep through it is driving me crazy! Its likeep torture having to remember ever second of the worst days of your life. Its really horrible. I just regret being home alone. Shouldn't have sent my husband out of state. Its so lonely!! I have friends I could call over but they're either pill heads or unaware of my dependency. UGH!! I just want 2 hours sleep and nothing will knock me out. I also found 100mg Fentanyl patches my doctor prescribed after my car accident. I wore one for two days and swore I was dying so I put the remaining 9 patches away and never looked back now its like they are glaring at me. I'm afraid if them but could trade them easily enough. But this entire line of thinking proves I'm an addict. Wow. I haven't slept longer than 45 minutes in like 70+ hours. This is bad. I think I need rehab or something.

FMTT

Relax MsEA, lack of sleep sucks but you won't end up in the hospital from it. Insomnia lasts a while too so try and get used to it. At least for now. Remember, you've been carpet bombing your body and mind long enough that it's going to take some time for you to get used to living normally again. Whatever normal was for you at least. Like I said before, it will get much better real soon but the insomnia may last a while longer. It's tempting to go for some type of sleep aid and I guess in extreme cases it's OK but I avoided any extra baggage in my kick. And the dope will keep talking to you. Reminding you how you'll feel better, sleep better, whatever. Don't believe it. Your on your way to being free but even small doses will set your mind and body back incrementally. Be strong cause recovery from this stuff isn't linear. One day you'll feel great and the next day you'll feel like crap. Overall though you will be amazed at all the positive benefits of opiate freedom.

finaltime

Easilyamused, I am also a major pill addict, and tried several times to come clean on my own. Personally, I was never able to do it, and had to tell my husband everything, then with his help, I have been able to stay clean for 4 months. I was also on the oxy's, about 200mg plus a day. The withdrawals are the absolute worst. I went through them 4 serious times before i actually made it this long. One time I made it 30 days, and for some reason I left my 30 day meeting and went straight to get them. It is nothing to play around with how serious and strong the addict voice can be in your head. I highly recommend if you want to continue this sobriety to flush all pills, and burn those patches. I could not have those calling my name. Also, can you drive yourself to a meeting? Get some outside help asap, someone to sit with you, talk with you, anything so you are not white knuckling it at home. As for the sleep, be prepared to not sleep through the night for a good few weeks. It will get easier as time goes on. I used to drink sleepy time tea before bed. That helped, but I still knew I would be up all night kicking my legs and tossing and turning, when it was bad i would be up in the bathroom, puking or crapping lol. I watched funny movies, drank mad fluids, cried, cried more, journaled, cried more, and went from room to room. It goes away though, and you just have to think that if you want to keep using it will only have to be done again. If I was to do it all over again, I would've liked to be in a facility, but I have a child and a job, and could never just leave my current life to go recover. I am here for you girl!

FMTT

Wow ICan, that was pretty wild. You left your 30 day meeting and then promptly copped. That is proof positive why this stuff is no joke.

I'm not gonna try to psyche-out the OP but I believe that everyone who is sick and tired of being sick and tired from their DOC can win freedom if they just "hang in there". I recently read about a thing called "urge surfing". It's an interesting concept. Google it if you like. It can't hurt. Carry on everyone.

MsEasilyAmused

Its about 11:30 where I live and its been raining all night and all morning. I was up all night but at 7:30 I layer in bed listening to the rain and I finally fell asleep until about 10:30 I woke up choking on vomit, so that ruined my relaxing nap. Now I can't get back to sleep. Its so terrible I am shaking miserably and all I want to do is sleep again to be unaware of this miserable feeling for a few more hours. Thank u for all your words if encouragement!! It means so much thinking others have been where I am!

likehappiness

You are about 1-2 days from being over the hump of feeling awful. Don't go backwards cause you are just about there from the worst days. Insomnia and diarreha are rough. They are the worst along with the chills. Try to take some hot, hot showers and then lay down and relax....even if it is just for an hour.. Deep slow breathing in and out just to keep your heart from racing. Every hour is a step forward.

JadeAngel

Chamomile Tea is wonderful. It's relaxing and can help you to sleep.

MsEasilyAmused

I'm still trucking along. lol Not really more like laying around wishing I could crawl in a hole. The longer it goes on the more depressed I get. I know it won't last forever but right now it sure feels like it.

sissy07

Hi MsEasilyAmused,

I usually just hang on the alcoholism threads, but do read the substance abuse forum occasionally. (I had that problem too, but have been sober from pills for 5 years, alcohol 10 months). I just have to say something to you.

You are so very brave.....you have been through a lot. Please hang in there....it will get better very soon. I really admire your strength. Take care and keep updating us.

Opio

I agree with likehappiness. It sounds like you are close to being over the hump. If you were able to sleep 3 hours on your own last night you will probably be able to get more sleep tonight. It will get better.

A hot bath may be able to help you with sleep. They can help ease the kicks some.

Give yourself a pat on the back because you are doing great. It is an amazing feat to make it through a cold turkey withdrawal. Just remember that you never have to go through this again so long as you stay clean.

finaltime

so proud that you are hanging on and got some sleep!!! And you are doing this alone! I know you can push through this! Try the hot baths, masturbation (ok maybe too far but it takes your mind off of it and you are amazed that you have feeling back) hot tea, lots of water, and funny feel good movies! You can do this!!!

Yes FMTT, on my 30 days a few years back I went straight to the pharm. I think my addict brain thought, "Wow you have just proved you can be clean if you want! lets go celebrate since you can quit again at anytime! Well that trip back to the pharmacy lasted from End of March 2010 to Feb 14 2012! Cost me over 20 grand at least, and more...ugh...But the good thing is I am 4 months now and some change. I never ever thought I could really get clean, or saw myself clean, and now I am proving myself wrong!

MsEasilyAmused

Thanks guys! I've been taking hot showers & the heating pad is my best friend, I got no sleep just tossed and turned all night. My hips are worst right now, my back finally stopped feeling like it would break in two but now even standing for a minute causes throbbing in my hips and knees like they are going to fall apart on me. I am down 11lbs though I guess that's a good thing. I always ate when I took pills to avoid feeling nausea so maybe I'll drop the other 10lbs I have to go to get back into my "skinny" wardrobe lol I just feel like crap and it honestly feels like it should be over by now but the pain and misery lives on.

likehappiness

MsEA. Make sure you stay hydrated. My first withdrawal I lost 25 pounds but it's a different weight loss and not necessarily good...for me it was muscle mass. I am a female and it looked like I had stick legs. If you can get up and walk and walk even if it is one block or two. Don't go so far you can't get home but do something, it will help you sleep also. Your back hurts from laying around unless that caused you pain in the first place. Keep taking those hot baths and use the heating pad.

YOU ARE GETTING THERE....DON'T GO BACKWARDS!