herewegoagain2

I will try my hardest not to make this a wall of text...but here it goes.

I'm a few days shy of 24. I've always suffered from anxiety/depression/ADD and OCD tendencies, but did not always know it.

I started smoking weed at 17, started drinking a bit earlier. Became a daily smoker by the age of 18 and summer after High School I began to dabble in other drugs (Hallucinogens, MDMA, Cocaine, various pills, research chemicals and obscure drugs, you name it I've tried pretty much everything except Meth and Heroin). Have had an on and off nicotine addiction as well.

By 19 the weed and drug use had taken such a toll on my motivation I convinced myself I needed a script to Adderall. Life was manageable for a few years till the Adderall honeymoon ended. Tried Zoloft for a while hated it and got off and got back on Adderall and abused it till my anxiety forced me to stop.

Over the past 8 years I've taken breaks from everything for various periods of time and have never truly been addicted to anything besides Adderall, weed, and nicotine. (And I guess caffeine also if that counts.)

I quit daily Adderall use almost a year ago (hardest thing I've ever done). Then I quit cigarettes on New Years Eve, and then the weed in February and got completely sober for a month and a half (still drank a bit).

Thought I could handle occasional drug use I started dabbling with MDMA and Cocaine again, then started smoking weed occasionally. Within a month I was a full blown pothead all over.

This happened in April and it has taken me till now to want to stop and only because I am depressed about my upcoming 24th birthday and my lack of accomplishments in life that I want to get sober.

I have had a hard time stopping weed for more than 2 days lately. I am setting a goal for myself to quit using all drugs, alcohol, and nicotine from June 25th to December 25th because it is too hard to quit and say NEVER again. 6 months feels like a realistic goal.

I'm not really sure why I decided to post my story, but if anyone can relate or has any advice I would greatly appreciate your input.

Thanks for reading,

1983ritag

Hi! Welcome to SR!

My story is similar. I grew up with ADD so I was prescribed aderall and other stimulants as a kid. I never really liked taking them but I loved smoking weed. I dabbled in a lot of other things as a teen but always kept things under control. I've always held down a full time job, so getting housed had to come after my work. A lot of stressful things happened in my life and I started partying too much. Not only was it weed and alcohol, I added coke and eventually meth. I never even liked meth so the fact that I was doing it really freaked me out. I felt like I was at a y in the road, my life could go one way or the other. I decided to give it up. Originally when I got sober, I would tell myself that it's only going to be a few months. I realized as time went by that I needed to stay sober, forever. That's really hard to accept for me. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision by staying sober. I just look at my life a year ago and see where I am today. I'm in a much better place. Life isn't perfect, but is nice not living in that hellish cycle of addiction. My experience is that it may not be that bad now, but it will most likely get worse over time. This site has been a huge life saver for me. I've learned a lot of good information. Stick around, you have nothing to lose by abstaining. I wish you luck on your journey

CarolD

I'm an alcoholic ...I can't think of anything that alcohol enhanced
tho as a active drinker...I thought it did.
It was a fantasy ..not a true fact.

Welcome to SR...

herewegoagain2

Well I failed my goal of quitting everything by June 25th and am a bit disappointed in myself.

I quit weed for a few days but then I started to feel anxious and convinced myself I need it sometimes, I just need to use in moderation.

Today I have been sober so far but I will probably smoke some weed before the day is over.

I've been taking Sam-E and chewing nicotine gum and am quite content with just these 2 substances. Makes it easier for me to avoid everything else.

I keep fantasizing about getting another script to Adderall but I have been clean from Adderall so long I'm terrified of getting my self addicted all over again even though I felt more functional on Adderall when I wasn't abusing it then I ever have my whole life. I just don't know if I can trust myself not to abuse it again.

I am thinking about going to get a script for Welbutrin as I have read a lot about it and have high hopes it will be the RX that will finally help me put an end to my desire to be intoxicated on something.

My two DOC are Weed and Adderall. I am relatively confident that I can avoid abusing anything else and still have the occasional drink and dabble with other drugs as long as I steer clear of my two DOC. Am I crazy to think like this?

Anyone have any positive experience with Welbutrin returning their lifes to a sense of normalcy?

likehappiness

herewego. Well your question has been asked by many addicts of just doing other "things" and staying away from your DOC. I do know that "other substances" usually lead to your DOC. The reason is....when you use ANY mind altering substance it messes with your head and how you think. After awhile our addicts brain kicks in and your are saying....well, I will just do it ONE MORE TIME. We are addicts and it doesn't work like that for us. We are not one more time people. So that is why alot of people give up EVERYTHING. It doesn't lead them astray then or play tricks with our heads.

tomsteve

i know for me that nothin changed when nothin changed. i had to give up all mind and mood altering substances and change me.

FMTT

I personally subscribe to the "kick one demon at a time" theory. Those that say "all mind altering substances need to be eliminated" should try to explain why people are swilling coffee and burning tobacco like it's going out of style at NA/AA meetings. Yes they are mind altering in my opinion. Your freedom will be won if you really want it. Reefer kicks are all in your head with some edginess and insomnia thrown in but nothing insane. Good luck on your attempts.

MadeofChoices

Adderall is extremely hard to quit, you should be very proud of yourself for that. Same with Weed, because our culture tends to view it as harmless. As someone who has a family history of schizophrenia, however, it is anything but. Paranoia is often a slippery slope to psychosis.

I had a problem with uppers and man, Adderall made me feel on top of the world, but it also led me to feel mildly psychotic and agitated. And the tolerance/crash was horrible. I'm currently on Celexa, and it works pretty well. In the past, I've been on Lexapro, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Klonopin, Adderall, and Nuvigil. I don't think Wellbutrin is a good choice for anyone with addictive tendencies, as it is quite speedy. It made me have seizures, so I had to stop.

Honestly, Wellbutrin, Adderall, and Nuvigil/Provigil are all very similar in terms of making you feel slightly manic/SUPER EXCITED ABOUT EVERYTHING. I understand the concerns about productivity, but as long as you exercise regularly, you'll get a natural boost of dopamine and norepinephrine. There's also always good old fashioned caffeine.