joestrummer69

Okay well here's the deal my brother has gotten into a lot of drugs and had been injecting stuff and all sorts of messed up stuff. Because of this he hasn't done anything really for a year and I avoid him as much as possible. (We both still live at home while I'm working on school/saving money for my future but he hasn't worked in awhile). My mom finally kicked him out and the only thing we are doing for him is he has a prescription for some kind of pills (I think he legitimately needs these) but the problem is he was crushing them up and abusing them in the past when really he should only be taking 1 per day. We know he can go in withdrawal if he suddenly stops taking these, but he needs to take them as they were prescribed, aka 1 pill swallowed per day, not crushed up or injected.

My brother has been out of the house a few days (he just got kicked out a few days ago) and my mom has only been giving him 1 pill per day (he has had to come by every day to get it) because we don't trust him with a month's supply. Now logistically this can be problematic and really would make more sense to give him 7 pills at the beginning of the week. My mom is really worried that if we do this he will abuse them/sell them. The way his mind works when he has a lot of pills he can sell his extra for some quick cash and buy again when he needs them (completely illogical). Anyways, we are trying to find a system where he can take pictures every day and prove how many pills he has on a particular day. We need to be able to tell when a picture was taken. Is this at all possible? We need to set this up somehow so he can't just take a bunch of pictures one day when he has 7 pills and use those in the future. Is there any way to accomplish this?

SteppingItUp

I don't know of any addict that can really moderate their use of any drug that they have already lost control over.

Technically, if one wanted to date photographs they could use a daily newspaper with the date on it. However, trying to control his use of drugs this way sounds pretty futile. Addicts can use connections, lie and manipulate to high heaven unless and until they're genuinely ready to stop using and find a new way to live.

I am very sorry you are all going through this. I pray your brother will seek recovery. I also really hope you will consider Naranon or Alanon for yourselves. The Friends and Family section of this site may also be a helpful resource for you.

suki44883

You cannot control his drug usage. He will find a way to get what he needs. If he is an adult, he has every right to live his life as he sees fit, even if you think it is wrong. On the other hand, your mother has the right to decide who can and cannot live in her home. Trying to control an addict is like trying to push a rope up a mountain. It cannot be done.

Welcome to SR. If you take the time to read around the forum, you will learn a lot about what is and is not realistic when dealing with an addict. I'm sorry your family is dealing with this. I know you love your brother, but you cannot live his life for him. He must do that himself.

Here is a link to our Friends and Family forum:

Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

joestrummer69

Well I have pretty much agreed that he isn't able to do it (beat his addiction) without professional help. She told him he was going to a treatment facility or he was out of the house. He said he would go to the center and we had him signed up, but on the last day he "chickened out" and said he wouldn't go. So now he is on his own and he says he has a job. (I don't know how he got a job so fast but apparently he already had his first day).

I think this is good bc he will see what it is like to support himself. The thing is I don't think he can make it on his own. He has had everything provided for him for the past year. He was paying no rent and all of his money went to drugs. Anyways he moved in with a friend but I guarantee he won't be living there long without paying rent, and he will see how hard it is when the majority of his paycheck goes to rent and he barely has enough money to even get by. He has stolen money from my mom and has wasted a lot of her money too. (For example taking courses at his college but not putting his 100% and he does poorly so drops the class, but she still has to pay for the class). He has put her in a lot of debt and been dependent on everyone else. My mother was enabling him and was not strong enough to kick him out before. We just realized he will never change until he gets professional help. We don't have time to handle his problems and addictions. The therapist we talked to said that he needs to hit rock bottom which means we put him out on his own and he gets a taste of the real world. We cut off support to him and let him make his own decisions.

Also he may continue to make the wrong decisions by continuing drugs but we cannot control him. He is an adult and we cannot stop him from making drug deals with his connections. However, my mom still wants to control what she can, which is his prescription pills. I think she just wants to feel like he is only taking them once per day and not selling them. Another thing is these pills only cost a few cents per pill for the prescription but they sell for like $3-$5 each (just from the information I've gathered with the limited exposure I've had with my bro and his drug friends) and it is an easy way to make a lot of money. I know sometimes he would get his prescription (my mother always paid for the prescription) and then sell all the pills for a big windfall, then would use that money to buy other drugs and sell for profit. It is a ridiculous way to make a living, that can end him in jail. We don't want him to go to jail but I think he is always making risky decisions and is very likely to end up there if he can't change his ways.

I didn't mention this to begin with but my mother and I feel that he also has some mental health issues. The way he acts is so crazy and illogical sometimes. I understand part of this is the drugs, but also think he is mentally unstable at times. I understand he is an adult, but I almost feel like he is not able to make the right decision and we should get him court ordered to go to the center. I don't know how this would work, or if we should just let him hit rock bottom first. I hate to rush to anything, I am just afraid if we don't get him into a center (willingly or unwillingly) he will waste more years of his life and we will lose him for good. I say lose him both figuratively and literally. We don't want to lose him from our family but we are also afraid his actions could end in death.