Completed My First 5th Step Last Night
Completed My First 5th Step Last Night
I'm sure there will be many more in my future since I am still young and new to the program, but I have to say right now I feel like I am on top of the world. I was so nervous for weeks and weeks and finally yesterday morning I got on my knees and prayed for my 5th step to go smoothly and how god wished for it to go.
I met my sponsor at about 4:30 yesterday afternoon and we sat for about 2.5 hours and I just lost all fear and spewed out everything at her. Lol. I lost my voice twice from talking so much. It amazes me. I can't even talk to people normally but I just went right for it. No holding back. No more secrets.
Immediately after I was done I felt this great sense of peace and security. I felt like God was sitting right next to me holding my hand. And I expected this feeling to go away once I left her house but nope. God sat in the passenger seat of my car all the way home last night and we chatted friendly and open until I got to my apartment. Then he followed me inside and I laid on my couch and did the "quiet hour" that the big book mentioned. I re-read how it works to make sure I thoroughly did steps 1 through 5, and then I reflected on my 5th step. I do believe I did it as thoroughly as I could have.
I meditated for about 20-30 minutes before bed time and then I fell right asleep, so peacefully. i didn't move or wake all night long. And this morning that wonderful peaceful feeling is still with me. It feels truly AMAZING! I no longer feel trapped or fearful, because I know that God is right next to me at all times if I ask him to be.
I am not nervous at all about any of the upcoming steps. Amends I am looking forward to very much because almost all of them are family members and I desperately want to make it up to them.
Just wanted to share this with all of you, if you are struggling with this, please do not give up! It does work if you work very very hard for it!
I met my sponsor at about 4:30 yesterday afternoon and we sat for about 2.5 hours and I just lost all fear and spewed out everything at her. Lol. I lost my voice twice from talking so much. It amazes me. I can't even talk to people normally but I just went right for it. No holding back. No more secrets.
Immediately after I was done I felt this great sense of peace and security. I felt like God was sitting right next to me holding my hand. And I expected this feeling to go away once I left her house but nope. God sat in the passenger seat of my car all the way home last night and we chatted friendly and open until I got to my apartment. Then he followed me inside and I laid on my couch and did the "quiet hour" that the big book mentioned. I re-read how it works to make sure I thoroughly did steps 1 through 5, and then I reflected on my 5th step. I do believe I did it as thoroughly as I could have.
I meditated for about 20-30 minutes before bed time and then I fell right asleep, so peacefully. i didn't move or wake all night long. And this morning that wonderful peaceful feeling is still with me. It feels truly AMAZING! I no longer feel trapped or fearful, because I know that God is right next to me at all times if I ask him to be.
I am not nervous at all about any of the upcoming steps. Amends I am looking forward to very much because almost all of them are family members and I desperately want to make it up to them.
Just wanted to share this with all of you, if you are struggling with this, please do not give up! It does work if you work very very hard for it!
Oh my goodness I hope you took a break for food! Lol! I am sure I will have some more 4-5 steps later on down the road. I don't remember a lot of things from my childhood and then one day suddenly something strange will pop into my head and I'll need to tell someone about it. lol
An ongoing process! Regular inventory is crucial as we are always growing in our spirituality. Yes, my sponsor cooks well and treats me well. Honestly, by the 5th hour I was really wiped... Once homeless, this sponsor now makes way too much money, volunteers time, is happily married, and is genuinely humble and a wonderful soul to know. Always is smiling....(that really gets to people!)
I'm so happy for YOU. Keep moving along, first relief, then the real freedom and pink-cloud-that-can-last comes after the 9th step!
I'm so happy for YOU. Keep moving along, first relief, then the real freedom and pink-cloud-that-can-last comes after the 9th step!
An ongoing process! Regular inventory is crucial as we are always growing in our spirituality. Yes, my sponsor cooks well and treats me well. Honestly, by the 5th hour I was really wiped... Once homeless, this sponsor now makes way too much money, volunteers time, is happily married, and is genuinely humble and a wonderful soul to know. Always is smiling....(that really gets to people!)
I'm so happy for YOU. Keep moving along, first relief, then the real freedom and pink-cloud-that-can-last comes after the 9th step!
I'm so happy for YOU. Keep moving along, first relief, then the real freedom and pink-cloud-that-can-last comes after the 9th step!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
That was beautiful to read FlyerFan...Made my day.
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
pg 75 bb
Sounds like you passed with flying colors!
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
pg 75 bb
Sounds like you passed with flying colors!
It's like, ever since that moment after I finished talking with my sponsor, I have just felt like a brand new person. I am at east, at peace and nothing can hurt me anymore. God is with me all the time now.
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