hybrid

So I am 5 weeks clean now. It's been a tough road. To make matters even more difficult I dropped a med that I was actually on for two years. (Gabapentin) Cold turkey. I know not the best idea to drop it the way I did. It works AMAZING for anxiety but wears off so quickly and causes even worse anxiety upon waking up. And I dont want to be a slave to yet another med. Not too mention I was on 4000mg a day dose. Btw, the withdrawals from that are HORRENDOUS!

My problem now is that my sleeping habits suck. They're all over the place. Im eating horrible foods (out of anxiety/filling an empty void.) I am completely lacking all motivation and complete thoughts. I cant clean my Apt., pay attention to when bills are due, I rarely leave the house. Im struggling to remotely enjoy anything. Im so stoic. I know this is PAWS but my way of thinking is at blame im sure of it. Im not living life. Im feeling empty. My depression has gone down but the anxiety has increased.

Any advice on how I could push myself? I feel so overwhelmed at any bit of responsibility.

RobS

Truly the one thing that helped me was to exercise. It's seems like the last thing you'd want to do but Im telling you it will totally help. It plays a huge role in repairing the brain and and reducing anxiety. The more you do, the better you'll feel. And faster. It still takes time but it will happen. Sitting around the house is gonna make it seem like forever. You probably wont enjoy it too much at first but soon youll be craving the "natural high" you get from it. It just helps restore the mind, body, and soul. I was at 5 weeks last year and I felt the same way. Just push yourself to do it and you'll get better soon. Give it a try.

TheReader

As a long term opiate user, in recovery now for almost 18 months, I just now am feeling like the old me from 25 years ago. I know exactly how you feel about cleaning house, paying bills, going shopping,etc. For months after I got clean, every action and step was a chore. I had to push myself. My addict brain felt as though all these tasks were much easier and more fun when using.

I found that my work helped, as I did not think as much about using while at work. But, at home, another story. I think staying in the same surroundings also keeps you blah. I have lived in my house almost 30 years and most of that I was using some type of opiate due to emotional pain. So, travel also helped me, getting away from old surroundings even if just taking a drive.
Not a big exerciser due to a few surgeries, I do walk a lot and that was the excercise that helped me and working in the garden and yard.

Good sleep is the last item to return to you. It took me about 6 months. Now I sleep well almost every night. My legs bother me now and again but that is due to an injury/surgery more than anything. Of yes, I still dream occasionally about using and actual used in my dream about 5 nights ago. Saw Dr. Drew the next night on TV and he confirmed this is not unusual.

IvanKatz

Exercise work miracles for depression. I've also found that social interaction with people you enjoy works well to. Just the act of engaging in conversation and having laughter does wonders for your mood.