coles886

My step-son is a heroin addict and has made 3 trips to rehab since 2008. Professionals say they have to "hit" their bottom and I hope and pray that he's almost there. He's gone through $300K when his daddy died and now his girlfriend plans to kick him out today.....she's the last of the "enablers"....as he's burnt every other bridge. He knows if I pick him up - off to rehab it will be. So to be prepared - I am looking for a rehab center again.

I've been searching the internet all morning but I'm looking for a rehab that allows them to work to pay their way. I have spent thousands of dollars on him since 2008 and I can no longer financially support a rehab bill. The only choice he has is either a "working ranch" or "non-profit" rehab. My preference is for him to work on a cattle ranch somewhere where he can obtain treatment, but also "earn his keep". Does anyone have any suggestions on a "working rehab"? I'm willing to send him anywhere in the US, but I prefer to get him out of the state of North Carolina. Any suggestions are welcomed!!! Thanks for any advice!

Susan

IvanKatz

While I don't know of any rehabs like this, I'd say 3 times in and out would be two more than I would have done. I deeply understand the love one has for a child but there comes a time when you have to stop holding hands.
You were absolutely correct that one has to reach the bottom before their eyes are opened up. While you can offer a loving and caring hand, if your son doesn't want it, there's not much you can do.
I've had my battles with prescribed medications for some serious physical ailments but in the end, I decided that my life, friends, and most importantly - my wife was worth fighting for. The bottom for me was the day I told my wife that I had a problem with the meds. She had a small bit of sympathy but also somewhat of disgust. To have my wife disgusted with something I've done hit my deepest shame button. That was my bottom.
Since then, I've turned my life around. You see, the greatest fear in my life is losing the most important blessing ever bestowed to me (my wife). I would go through hell for her and I did!
I applaud you for coming to this board. I know it's not an easy thing. You are however, in very good company with many folks who've been in your son's shoes.

hdevil

There is a mens halfway house in phoenix az that has helped many men shake their disease. I would highly recomend this place it sounds like just the spot you are looking for.

HD

coles886

Do you happened to know the name of the facility?

Thanks!

Susan

Marcus

I know Salvation Army has programs where you work to pay your way. Not a cattle ranch, but I have heard good things. There are many locations throughout the country. Worth a look. It took me close to 5 years to get off H. I blew through a similar amount of money. 250 a day at my worst. There is no magic place or cure. You have to really want it and even then it isn't easy. I hope he finds his way.

coles886

Thanks Ivan for your words of encouragement.

I know the average person would give up on Seth, but I made a promise to his daddy and I cannot bear to go back on my promise.....even if it takes 20 times. Seth's biological mother doesn't really have much to do with him. I'm really the only person in his life - except his sister and she has her own issues and chooses not to deal with Seth.

Normally, most addicts have a "safe haven" and I am Seth's. It sounds like your wife is yours. My boyfriend is an addict with almost 3 years of sobriety. Like you, he couldn't bear hurting me anymore. Seth on the other hand feels like he doesn't have much to live for since his daddy passed away. If I continue to send him back to rehab - I hope "he'll want it at some point". Until then, I will continue trying until he does, goes to prison, or he dies.

Impurrfect

I know there is a program in south GA that is similar to what you are talking about, but it's been so long (someone else here, years ago, had her son there) I don't remember where. I'm about to go out to eat with the family, but will see if I can find out the info when I get back. It's basically a place where they are learning recovery tools, but they also work out in the gardens, grow their own food, miles away from any city. Sorry I don't remember where, but will try to find out the info later.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

Okay, i just looked it up and am pm'ing you the name of the one I think it was. I doubt you can pm me back, you have to have a certain number of posts before being able to do that, but it's okay.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

coles886

Thanks Everyone - any suggestions are welcomed.

william0850

There is only really so much you can to help an addicted loved one. I am a recovering addict myself. I know it sounds harsh but you can't be bailing him out and sending him to rehab after rehab. It's not healthy for you. I would really recommend going to allon meetings those folks can really help you out. Best of luck to you and your family in this difficult time.

TSDD

Almost every area in the country has detox that takes people with no money and no insurance. Generally they don't waste beds on guys who don't really want to be there though, so the patient needs to start blowing up their phone. I had a friend that had had enough and we knew one place had free beds come up and he called 3 times a day and middle of day 3 they let him in.

It's like that Kung Fu TV series....they kind of weed out the people who aren't serious about getting in before they open the door for you. Some places have to take someone if they just show up, and park it in the middle of the floor and just refuse to leave until they get a bed.

In addition to checking out Alanon/Naranon you might check out an AA or NA meeting. I bet dollars to donuts the guys there will know what local detox options are.