Back again!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
Back again!
I doubt anyone actually remembers me, but I was very addicted to opiates a few years ago. Mainly hydrocodone. It was prescribed to me for a legit injury-and well, I am sure you all know the rest all too well!
Anyways, I was clean for about a year. For the most part I guess, I did take them off and on for legit reasons, but was able to stop and keep moving on with my life.
Fast forward to about 8 months ago, I tore my shoulder up really good, and not wanting to go through anymore surgeries ( I have had way too many for a 21 year old) I just asked my doctor about something I could take daily to kill the pain that "wouldn't make it hard to function at work" (I am a firefighter, I WILL NOT, do any kind of painkiller on the job, prescribed or not) He prescribed ultram ER 200mg. I had taken it before with not much help, but I was willing to try it. I didn't get much of a buzz off of it or anything, it really did help with the pain, but I found myself taking 2-3 a day instead of one sometimes and would of course run out way early, and go through a week or two of the WORST withdrawals I have had, much worse than the normal opiates! So I finally decided enough of that, i was suffering at work and home 2 weeks out of the month, just wasn't worth it. Pain in my shoulder is bad, it pops out of place easily ETC. So I finally went and saw a new surgeon. He had me do an arthrogram MRI and advised me to be prepared for another surgery, I will know for sure come monday.
I am back because I have been off the ultram for about 3-4 weeks, what a horrible drug. But I have odd cravings for it, even though they never really did much for putting me in a better mood, have been very depressed lately as well, but each day is getting better and better. I love that feeling you get 1 month out, the "I made it" type feeling.
If I do require the surgery it will be quite extensive and very painful. So I know I will be taking the "harder" opiates for a week or better. And that is playing with fire. If the surgery does happen I hope to check in here each day to keep me on the right track. I was tired of this life two years ago, and I am tired of it now! I worked my butt off to get the job I have, and I refuse to lose it.
If you read all of that, thank you! Looking forward to talking to all of you again!
(also sorry for bad spelling/poor grammar, just got off a shift)
Anyways, I was clean for about a year. For the most part I guess, I did take them off and on for legit reasons, but was able to stop and keep moving on with my life.
Fast forward to about 8 months ago, I tore my shoulder up really good, and not wanting to go through anymore surgeries ( I have had way too many for a 21 year old) I just asked my doctor about something I could take daily to kill the pain that "wouldn't make it hard to function at work" (I am a firefighter, I WILL NOT, do any kind of painkiller on the job, prescribed or not) He prescribed ultram ER 200mg. I had taken it before with not much help, but I was willing to try it. I didn't get much of a buzz off of it or anything, it really did help with the pain, but I found myself taking 2-3 a day instead of one sometimes and would of course run out way early, and go through a week or two of the WORST withdrawals I have had, much worse than the normal opiates! So I finally decided enough of that, i was suffering at work and home 2 weeks out of the month, just wasn't worth it. Pain in my shoulder is bad, it pops out of place easily ETC. So I finally went and saw a new surgeon. He had me do an arthrogram MRI and advised me to be prepared for another surgery, I will know for sure come monday.
I am back because I have been off the ultram for about 3-4 weeks, what a horrible drug. But I have odd cravings for it, even though they never really did much for putting me in a better mood, have been very depressed lately as well, but each day is getting better and better. I love that feeling you get 1 month out, the "I made it" type feeling.
If I do require the surgery it will be quite extensive and very painful. So I know I will be taking the "harder" opiates for a week or better. And that is playing with fire. If the surgery does happen I hope to check in here each day to keep me on the right track. I was tired of this life two years ago, and I am tired of it now! I worked my butt off to get the job I have, and I refuse to lose it.
If you read all of that, thank you! Looking forward to talking to all of you again!
(also sorry for bad spelling/poor grammar, just got off a shift)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome back, though sorry for the shoulder troubles. I know several people have had surgery, had to take the opiates for a short time, but as long as you hold your recovery as a priority, reach out for support, I think it really does help.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
And here I am! in the position I knew I would be in unfortunately. *sigh*
Had surgery around three weeks ago. Had some screws put in and quite a bit of work done. I thought I knew what pain was before, but not even close. For the first 4-5 days I took percocet like my life depended on it every 4 hours on the dot. After that I asked to switch to Vicodin 5mg, knowing oxycodone would be worse to get off (due to the better feeling t gave me) So for the past few weeks I have been taking the vicodin. I am still in pain, but I know I don't need to be taking vicodin for it still. I was taking about 8 pills a day, then six, then 4 for a few days. I took 2 yesterday, felt withdrawal in what didn't seem like long after, I think a lot of it is in my head. I took 2 earlier today, and will take my last 2 tonight and then start cleaning up again. Last time I quit I got back to myself and enjoyed doing things sober again. So I know I can do it. I am ready to get back to where I was, having extra money and not thinking about pills every second of my life.
I will be sure to keep updating, this place was my rock last time I did this, You are all helpful and I appreciate the ones who helped me more than you all know.
Thank you!
Had surgery around three weeks ago. Had some screws put in and quite a bit of work done. I thought I knew what pain was before, but not even close. For the first 4-5 days I took percocet like my life depended on it every 4 hours on the dot. After that I asked to switch to Vicodin 5mg, knowing oxycodone would be worse to get off (due to the better feeling t gave me) So for the past few weeks I have been taking the vicodin. I am still in pain, but I know I don't need to be taking vicodin for it still. I was taking about 8 pills a day, then six, then 4 for a few days. I took 2 yesterday, felt withdrawal in what didn't seem like long after, I think a lot of it is in my head. I took 2 earlier today, and will take my last 2 tonight and then start cleaning up again. Last time I quit I got back to myself and enjoyed doing things sober again. So I know I can do it. I am ready to get back to where I was, having extra money and not thinking about pills every second of my life.
I will be sure to keep updating, this place was my rock last time I did this, You are all helpful and I appreciate the ones who helped me more than you all know.
Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((MC)) - I'm glad to see your update and hear that you're getting off the pain meds. Sounds like you made some good decisions (like not taking oxy) for a legit pain issue and I'm sending you mega healing prayers for a speedy recovery.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
Thank you, Amy (:
the hard part is I start a 6 day stretch of work tomorrow.Luckily I am still in a sling (for about another month yet) So I don't do much for physical work. Just a driver/pump operator right now. Should keep the body aches at least bearable. I am really positive about stopping. I am hoping since it was only 3-4 weeks of use the W/D's wont hold on for too long. I was surprised when I didn't take then for half a day last week that I even had any. They weren't terrible though, just back/leg pain and that horrible nagging depression that makes you just want to lay in bed and hate everyone for awhile. I will be surrounded by good people though, who always make me laugh everyday. Excited to get back into the swing of things sober!
the hard part is I start a 6 day stretch of work tomorrow.Luckily I am still in a sling (for about another month yet) So I don't do much for physical work. Just a driver/pump operator right now. Should keep the body aches at least bearable. I am really positive about stopping. I am hoping since it was only 3-4 weeks of use the W/D's wont hold on for too long. I was surprised when I didn't take then for half a day last week that I even had any. They weren't terrible though, just back/leg pain and that horrible nagging depression that makes you just want to lay in bed and hate everyone for awhile. I will be surrounded by good people though, who always make me laugh everyday. Excited to get back into the swing of things sober!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
close to 24 hours with nothing. Really feeling pretty good physically. Haven't had any symptoms except horrible cravings and boredom getting the best of me, time alone is not good right now, as I just keep thinking about calling in another script. Except I just know then I am good for a few days and back to square one, it's such an endless, vicious circle. Just trying to keep my head up and ride this thing out, if this is bad as my physical symptoms are going to get I think I can make it. I kinda figured they couldn't be THAT bad with only 3 weeks of use, I have a feeling when I did get W/D's it was just in my head, making things much worse, giving me more of a fear of stopping again, I know I need to before I get in too deep again. My shoulder is pretty sore after physical therapy, probably bad enough to warrant pain medication for a non addicted person.
Just needed to vent a bit, thanks for anyone listening!
Just needed to vent a bit, thanks for anyone listening!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Eastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 62
Not to be alittle pessimistic here but day 1 was always fine for me. It was days 2 through 5 that made me go through hell. It's good that you weened yourself down and that you have experienced this before. Knowing what to expect is good for you.
My last detox, (coming up on a year ago) was the easiest for me. I think it's a blessing in disguise that you have a long stretch at work coming up. Staying busy helped me keep my mind off of detoxing.
Best of luck to you sir,
311
My last detox, (coming up on a year ago) was the easiest for me. I think it's a blessing in disguise that you have a long stretch at work coming up. Staying busy helped me keep my mind off of detoxing.
Best of luck to you sir,
311
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
Yeah I don't want to get too far ahead of myself. But usually with me it was within 8 hours and I would start to feel it. The high never lasted long for me, once it came on, I was over it within an hour. then would just feel "normal" until I hit withdrawals. Right now it really feels like nothing happened. only pain I have is a bit in my back and of course my shoulder. zero other symptoms. Insomnia always kicks my ass though, so we will see what tonight and tomorrow brings before I think I am getting out easy this time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 43
Half way into day 2. Went to sleep last night after a bit of fighting and slept pretty good for 5-6 hours. More than I thought I would get. Physical symptoms still pretty well non-existent! So excited about that. Mental symptoms are still hitting pretty hard though. Work has been tough, I feel like I have someone following me around beating on my shoulder with an ice pick. Still not willing to give into it. Anyways, figured I would give a quick update before I head back for the last half of my day of work. I thought I might have to call in sick a few days but so far I feel good, just depressed pretty badly. Thanks for all the support so far!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
