hybrid

Hello All,

I am new to the site and feeling a little overwhelmed. I've been using on and off for almost four years now. It started off with half a Vicodin and like all addictions, progressed. Next thing I knew I was taking 10-15 vicodins at a time. Soon enough, that wasn't enough and I just moved to anything I could find and then soon I turned to suboxene and subutex to feel a high. I even went as far as herion for a week and quickly quit as I knew I couldn't do it. I felt dirty and knew it would completely destroy me.

So I have decided that I need to reach out as the only time I have tried to stop failed and lasted all but a little over two months. Now, I am a bit scared due to the fact that I am starting all over again as of today. I fear withdrawal symptoms and more-so the length of symptoms. Its how long it last that always detours my recovery. I would like some input here on how long it truly last. How long will it take for my endorphins to come back?

I'm sick of being depressed and the only way I can feel normal is if I take some kind of opiate. My anxiety is always here. I feel like I'm numb and exhausted in every sense. I used to be the happiest person. Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated. As of today I AM DONE! Its time for me to be who I was again.

Thanks

IvanKatz

Hybrid, First and foremost let me welcome you to SR. This is a good place to be.
As for your post, the first I can recommend is getting some professional help first. Go see a doctor and be 100% honest with them. Only a licensed doctor can make decisions based on you as an individual.
I can honestly tell you that you chances of recovery are WAY better than without one. A doctor can prescribe medications that will help you through the W/D phase. In my experience, the W/D is compounded by lack of good sleep. If you can get 8-10 hours of ROCK SOLID sleep a nigh, it will reduce your W/D by half the time.. But.. Hint Hint... Only a DOCTOR can help you out with that. Diet is a major component too. As for the endorphins, exercise is the prescription for that part of it. Now, that part SUCKS! W/D saps every ounce of energy from you but let me say that you must FORCE yourself to do this. Again, exercise will also reduce the time of W/D (mental part of it) because the activity forces your brain to start making those feel good chemicals again.
Every word I have written comes from experience. Take these words to heart. But as I said, first things first - if you are serious, see a doctor!

Chrisy

Welcome,

You are at the right place. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but you do need to seek a doctor that can help you during your withdrawals. We on this forum can act as your cheer leaders and pray, support, and help you through emotionally.

Good luck.

Love and Blessings
Chrisy

hybrid

Thank you so much for your responses. I will be taking gabapentin along with klonopin for withdrawals and anxiety. As far as the sleep thing goes, I had no idea! I'll aim for sleep and exercise. When I went threw the withdrawals the first time I was working out and that helped so much!


Thanks again,


Hybrid

Impurrfect

(((hybrid))) - Welcome to SR! I now the "dr. thing" has been mentioned, but I wanted to caution you on the klonopin - VERY addictive and VERY hard to get off. It's entirely too easy to turn to something else, while trying to get off something - btdt.

If a dr. is prescribing it and knows your an addict, it's one thing. If not, that's a slippery area to be going, IMO.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

CarolD

Welcome....