Recovery4mehelp

I have been clean from crack for 2 yrs. I hit my 4th step about 6 months ago and have been putting it off. My meetings have slowed. I feel as though I just can't open up. It has been hard dealing with facing myself. My gf of a year and a half started alanon. She is angry all the time I feel like I can't do anything right. She says that I'm not the person she met a year a half ago. My confidence has gone down, my drive for recovery has slowed, I don't show emotion towards her, she feels like alll I do is ask her to help me (yes I do ask for help.help in showing her how I feel, remeinders about step work,calling my sponsor, the kids & staying in contact which I have so much guilt about), she says she feels like a piece of meat, I've used her as my new addiction & disrespected. I feel tired, overwhelmed, misunderstood & I told her I'm happy she started alanon again it can only help me. She said it's not to help her understand me but to help her get stronger for herself. I feel like I'm doing the best I can right now but I feel like I'm going to lose her. She just doesn't understand & I don't know how to explain my feelings. She thinks I to afraid to face recovery & says my actions are those of a "dry drunk/addict" Can anyone give me some perspective is it true? Or is she wrong? I keep telling her to be patient give me time. Last night she sits me down and tells me " I can't be everything to you. Sponsor,friend,lover,gf,mom,suporter,secretary,coo

we argue I apoligize tell her I'll try my intentions are there its doing it that's hard. She says sorry no longer work and my promises no longer mean anything. My action don't match my words. I work everyday & I can't seem to get it together its to much I tell her. Why doesn't she see I'm doing what I can?

gurlie214

Well, you may not care to hear my perspective, but as the wife of a RAH whose DOC was cocaine, I can totally relate to your g/f and where she is right now. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying it is right or wrong.....it's just a part of the process. I still get furious with my husband for no reason at all other than I hate what he put me and my children through....and somedays, I just want to be mad as hell. It's tough in her shoes too, and I can almost promise you she really can't see how hard you are trying. Total open and honest communication is crucial, and even then, she will have her moments/days/weeks. All I can suggest is try to tell her that you want nothing more than to be everything she needs, but that it's going to take time. In the meantime, don't let her do things for you that you can do for yourself. She resents it. I've so been there! It's all just a part of the process! Hope that wasn't depressing.

Recovery4mehelp

No I don't mind at all Need perspective from all sides & thank you.