cuontheothersid

Hey everyone! I'm new here and just thought I would share my story.

I am a 30 year old, mom of 3 and I am addicted to H. Today is day 11 clean. It seems to be going really well. I am sure that Suboxone is a lot of the reason why. I have been taking about 4 mgs a day. I can't believe how much that one little pill seems to help.

Here is the bad part of my story. Last Monday I was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance. When i got out of jail I was notified that cps had removed my children. They are now in the custody of the state. I never thought I could miss them this way. It makes me sick to think of what I have done to my babies and to everyone around me. I have hurt people I love in the worst way possible. All I can do now is fix this mess I have caused. The first step in fixing this mess is fixing me. I am leaving in just over 24 hours to go to inpatient treatment. Part of me is so scared to go and be alone but another part of me is glad to be going. I just want and need the time to focus on me. When my social worker asked me why I am an addict I couldn't answer. All i could say is I honestly don't know. Has anyone else gone to inpatient? Any advise for someone going in? Thanks in advance.

Stopdropburn

I've never gone through exactly what you're experiencing. I've never even had to go to a treatment center.....but the potential was always there. I too have kids that have been affected by my actions to use and could've ended up much worse. Best of luck to you in your recovery and getting your life on track.

Threshold

Here is my advice. Try to, and if you pray, pray for an open mind and heart. When you are in a group, or a session, and you feel your skin begin to prickle and your resistance coming up, breathe, and listen. Allow yourself to hear what is being said.

Later, think it over, and let yourself feel/react..then look at your reaction..are you reacting because it's true, makes you feel scared or uncomfortable...or because what you heard is BS...don't try too evaluate all this during a session, just let yourself listen and hear what is being shared.

Some programs are great and have a ton to offer in the way of getting solid in recovery. Others are less meaty, but still help you get clean and offer information on resources you can use later. So there will be something you can gain there.

Also, I'd suggest you be very cautious about who you choose to get close to, divulge info too as far as the other patients there. It's easy to get caught up in some little clique, or someone negative try to buddy up to you etc. So pick and choose carefully, be nice to everyone, but keep your eyes open. There are usually some very needy people, or troublemaking people, and please remember you are there for YOU...and don't get distracted by them and their issues.

Dispatches

For me going to treatment was scarey but I sucked it up and put on a brave face and went. It was so unfamiliar, and being with a bunch of people I didn't know really worried me. I'm anti-social and I was isolated for a number of years, so it was really tough.

When I got to treatment I felt out of place for the first few days in detox. When I was transferred to rehab I found almost every person to be wonderful and caring. I was a recluse and yet I found this group of people to be so welcoming. They didn't judge me or ask why. People liked me, and I was blown away. I understood the concepts so I was a little bit ahead of everyone else. I had counselors asking me if I would help someone twice my age. I loved being there, I didn't have to worry about anything but myself. I found a group of people that were amazing, I wasn't alone.

I hope you find what I found, you shouldn't feel alone in rehab. You should feel apart of something. I'd recommend bringing lots of reading material for the down time. I wish you the best of luck

hdevil

I have not ever gone to a traditional rehab, but I have lived in a halfway house for men. It was a great experiance, and taught structure and balance. Both of which I veiw as priceless, since while using I would have nothing to do with either.

I think it is very cool that you realise that in order to clean the mess you need to start with working on you. Some one once told me that flight attendants give the best advice ther is, which is that you must make sure your mask is working before you attempt to help any one else with their's.

Good luck, and God bless.

HD