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PAWS question....anyone?

Old 04-25-2012, 05:22 PM
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PAWS question....anyone?

Hi SR folks,

So it's been 4 months since Ive taken any Oxycodone. I looked back at my last post which was on 3/8, today being 4/25, and I was doing great. Good mood, energetic, just overall happiness..well, all that's gone away now.

I'm extremely anhedonic and depressed. I can't find a reason to get out of bed. No joy in anything whatsoever. I have to force myself to do anything. I feel flat and emotionless, or angry for no good reason. I'm still eating well, juicing and exercising. I haven't changed any if the good habits I started. I even quit smoking. *

Is this PAWS? Will it eventually pass? I know no one can really answer that but i'd love to hear from any and all who have been clean for awhile and experienced a similar thing. I do recall there being a "honeymoon phase" after getting clean from past withdrawals but frankly this is the longest I've stayed clean so this is new for me. I'm starting to feel very bored with life clean you know?

I don't want to go on antidepressants ( again) if this is just part of PAWS and*
to be expected. My last experience with Wellbutrin was terrible. Not looking for*
medical advice here, just personal experiences.

Oh, this has been going on now for a month or so...Too long..

I welcome any responses! Thank you SR
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:34 PM
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Hi Ggeo

None of are doctors so...here's one of the best links I know of...it may help you to make up your own mind

PAWS | Digital Dharma
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:51 PM
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Thanks Dee, yes I read that article. Just wondering if anyone experienced something similar. It's so frustrating because you feel like you're doing everything right but still feeling like crap emotionally. I know it hasn't been that long. It just feels like forever!
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:58 PM
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My experience - 15 year opiate/alcohol addiction, GAD/social anxiety, tried every med in the book while abusing drugs and alcohol and they all failed miserably. Trying them sober yields better results (for me)

You are where I was at 4 months sober.

When I got clean I felt like crap for 10 months or so, I waited a long time for the paws to clear up. The GAD went away on it's own, I still have a few spikes but they go away after a few days.

I finally decided to try meds again with much better results now that my brain's biochemically unaltered by other substances. The Social Anxiety is significantly better.

I've heard of doctors, that specialize in treatment of drug addiction, prescribe anti-depressants for people early in recovery then take them off closer to 1 year sober. My doctor's plan is only to have me on them for a year, he said (for lack of better description) the meds "jump-start" your serotonin, or "retrain" your brain.

What I do is look for doctors that specialize in addiction or doctors that are extremely conservative with meds. My doc now knows I can't be on benzos or anything else addictive. He is also pretty good with new treatment options and alternative.

Up to you if you wanna see a doc, I wish I would have sooner but I do remember wanting to wait to see if the anxiety would go away on it's own so I understand. But I will say I don't think they'll interfere with recovery, but verify that with the doc.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:18 PM
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I'm sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I don't post often but have followed your story as I think we are of similar vintage.

I don't know about PAWS but I know that as I've gotten older I've had increased issues with alcohol the day after, even following one glass of wine. I'm not sure if you drink, but if you do, I can relate to many of the feelings you describe. I also recall that you are/were prescribed gabapentin? It was added to my pain management plan this year and I've had a tough time with it: extremely drowsy 30 minutes to an hour after taking, wide awake 2 to 4 hours later. I recently tried to stop completely but anxiety, depression and a host of physical symptoms kicked in.

Perhaps none of this is relative, but I do wish you the best in finding an answer, it stinks to do all the work of coming off opiates and not be emotionally and physically rewarded.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:25 PM
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Wow! Thank you JohnRambo. Kinda what I needed to hear right now. I guess I'm doubly nervous because I had clinical depression eight years ago long before I got addicted to Oxy. I was put on Wellbutrin and it really worked..kinda too well. I was pretty manic. I stayed on it for years til I felt it kind of petered out and quit working. I tried it again a few months back and it was just goddawful. I was either completely emotionless or angry and began having suicidal thoughts. Also terrible brain zaps. Nervousness and anxiety. I stayed on it for a full six weeks though before jumping ship. And it wasn't generic either. So I guess my brain chemistry is pretty efd up now, or just different I dunno. I have a friend who had the exact opposite happen to her. She tried it, had terrible side effects then years later tried it again successfully.

I live in an isolated rural area where there are no Drs specializing in addiction unfortunately. Plus I'm on medi-cal so I'm limited there as well. But I do believe you're right about that. My doctor is clueless.

Thank you for your input. I'm just gonna try and hang in there for now I guess. Like I said I know it hasn't been that long, but when you feel hopeless all the time it feels like forever.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:33 PM
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SweetDreams, thank you for the response. Yes I do drink a little, a couple of times a week. I admit it is a relief for me. Not good I know. But I feel this same depressed hopeless feeling 4 days after 2 glasses of wine..I guess I need to experiment and just not drink at all and see if it makes a difference. I hate to admit it will be difficult as my husband and I really enjoy our one night out a week..

And yes I was on Gabapentin too. I quit! I don't recall how long ago, I'd have to refer to my posts. I had bad withdrawal but it didnt last long and I'm super happy to be off it. I did have anxiety and depression but my Gaba wd was short, less than a week. Nothing compared to Oxycodone. I'm not on any meds now at all and so wish I could keep it that
way. Sigh..

Thanks again for chiming in. I truly appreciate it.
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Old 04-25-2012, 06:35 PM
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Welbutrin turned me into a psycho, I was high stung and aggressive on that stuff, I was passing people on the berm of the highway and extremely irritable on it. I'm on lexapro right now and I'm staying positive, more relaxed and less inhibited socially.

Anyway, also remember some people feel better on their own without needing meds, in fact, I think with most people it goes away on it's own. But obviously you know your body and mind, if you have a problem that needs medical attention see a doc.

When I see a doc that's clueless I don't waste my time, I put up with very little from quacks; I just move to the next doc.
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:37 PM
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Have you done a search on what oxy's do to your body? It might help you to understand why you feel the way you do.

Seek a doctor for medical advice.

6 months is when I started to really feel more motivated, before that time, I just had to get up and "do" what I could each day, whether I felt like it or not.

Prayers, love, & hugs,
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Old 05-01-2012, 01:30 PM
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Sugarbear thank you for telling me it took you six months. It seems that almost every story I read lately people are doing so well by this time( over 4 months). It was really beginning to freak me out.

So yeah, I'm still not any better mentally or emotionally. I keep see-sawing about whether I should try an antidepressant but I really don't want to. My last go round with Wellbutrin was terrible so I'd imagine my doctor would want to try an SSRI and the side effects from those really scare me, plus I hear withdrawal is awful as well. I just don't see the point in getting off Oxy then going on one of these. I dunno. Lost right now.

This anhedonia is just killing me. I have to go out of town for four days on Thursday and I'm just dreading it. I'm taking my daughter and her horse to a horse show. This should be a fun thing, something to be looking forward to! Not dreading. We are going with a fairly big group of people and I'm dreading all the social interaction, and certainly all the work as well. This is ridiculous. I still feel like I did two weeks after quitting Oxy!

Ugh. Sorry for the whiny boring post. It just helps me to write it down. Thank you SR
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Old 05-01-2012, 01:36 PM
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I just reread this thread and wanted to thank Johnrambo too. (My memory is awful! I did read your posts the other day).

Of course I'm rethinking the antidepressant thing now. And am very curious as to what you are taking! Honestly, I don't trust my Dr. It's truly time to get a new one.
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Old 05-01-2012, 02:06 PM
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I'm taking lexapro.

I first tried wellbutrin then pristiq, both didn't work. The lexapro is working well with very minimal side effects.

If you need treatment then get it, but don't worry, 4 months is still very early. It gets better than the 4 month mark, I felt crappy for way longer than that.
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