QUICK...talk sense into me...was just handed 4 vics...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 25
QUICK...talk sense into me...was just handed 4 vics...
My stupid ex husbqnd just tossed me 4 vicodin...sigh...and I just couldn't hand them back...asked a bunch of times if he was sure he didn't need them or want to keep them or whatever and he just said no, go ahead and take them...he's trying to pay me back money he owes me for pills and that's how he'd been doing it but....he knows I'm almost a month clean and he just still gave them anyway....f**k....and vevery bit of sense I've gained is screaming to just toss them out the window but there's this loud voice sayin ""nah, that's silly...its 4 pills and not even the pill you LOVE...just keep em just in case"....just in case WHAT???? Can't answer that....and that same voice says "or just rail 2 and pop the other 2 and have a fun night and be done tomorrow...they'll be gone and you'll be no worse for the wear"....but what then? Am I really done then or would the next step of justification be that I could buy just a couple on the weekend...then a couple more...such a slippery slope....not even...its more like a mountain of solid ice id slide down....HELP ME!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Hi Carbie 
The way I see it is...we can either keep moving forward, with the promises of new and better things to come...or we can double back and return to a situation we know without a doubt is pretty crap.
Toss the pills
D
The way I see it is...we can either keep moving forward, with the promises of new and better things to come...or we can double back and return to a situation we know without a doubt is pretty crap.
Toss the pills
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 25
Ugh...why can't I just toss them...???? Why is it so hard? I put them away...cept for the one that's all crushed nicely in a dollar bill in my lap...what is WRONG with me??? And I even had the thought that I just happened to have 2 bills in my pocket, must be meant to be...yeah...can we all say ADDICT together?? I want to move forward...I don't want to do this...but its like second nature...get a pill, torture myself over whether or not to do it now or how much to do, crush it, snort it, and then just do em til they're gone....repeat....over and over and over....I had finally broken that cycle....why I'm sitting here about to put myself back in it I have NO IDEA....I'm an idiot I guess....
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 25
And I've just been wanting one SO badly lately...a week ago they'd have already been out the window...I'm sorry I keep rambling but as long as I'm typing I'm not railing this pill so...its helping...I think...I don't know...maybe I should try and find a meeting? Haven't really done the na thing yet....may be a good time to start?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Instead of debating with yourself, why not make a quick decisive decision - right now...dump the powder, then go get the other two pills and go the same.
Your future depends on you and the decisions you make today Carbie...
D
Your future depends on you and the decisions you make today Carbie...
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: parkersburg, wv
Posts: 178
I had an ex who would slip me pills when he knew I was trying to get clean or when I would have a little clean time under me. I stopped all contact with him, I know that can be harder with an ex husband due to certain situations, but don't let him drag you down! Get rid of the pills, you have come this far!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 57
When I read this I immediately thought about the very helpful and detailed description of w/d that you passed along to me..
Day 1 - pure hell...vomitting non stop, shaking, frezing, sweating...I took large doses of nyquil all day and tossed and turned in bed all day/night...a friend came over and helped get my kids (10, 8 and 6yrs old) dinner and to bed...I was non functional and nothing helped...I rocked back and forth in bed begging to feel better and telling myself I am not going to do this anymore...I want to be better...I don't want a pill and I dnt need a pill anymore...not going to lie, it was one of the worst days of my life...
Day 2 - was a Monday...called in to work...more vomitting, no eating, shaking, weak, miserable...diarreah started too...I drug myself to the store and got unisom, immodium (critical to have), more nyquil, a big bottle of advil, and gatorade and saltines because all the medicine was going to be hard to keep down....I started a video diary of how I felt and how I was doing because I couldn't stand to look at the computer or type...
Day 3 - slightly better, still called out of work but was able to move about the house a bit...the sweating stopped and vomitting stopped but still couldn't eat more than saltines and broth and that wasn't much of that either...slept in 30 minute increments at night with lots of unisom and nyquil...found this site, attended an na meeting online...cried a lot
Days 4 - went back to work, struggled thru the morning but by afternoon was feelin okay...still taking a lot of immodium but no vomitting...still didn't eat...was able to sleep maybe an hour stretch with lots of med assistance and hot baths...did lots of hot baths first 3 days too and would sleep some in them as well...then would wake up, towel off, and climb in bed naked...was more comfortable than having any clothes clinging, bunching or touching me...
Day 5 - started to turn the corner...worked a full day, ate a little bit, was able to smile...forced myself to walk around outside a little and do some housework...really helped my legs feel less restless...was able to sleep about a 2hr stretch...
Days 6 & 7 - sleep started to return...started feeling like me again...could joke and laugh and eat...didn't need the hot bath to sleep
Week 2 - things just got better each day...sleep became something that just happened without effort, food tasted good and I had hunger again...started excersizing...started being really happy...
Day 1 - pure hell...vomitting non stop, shaking, frezing, sweating...I took large doses of nyquil all day and tossed and turned in bed all day/night...a friend came over and helped get my kids (10, 8 and 6yrs old) dinner and to bed...I was non functional and nothing helped...I rocked back and forth in bed begging to feel better and telling myself I am not going to do this anymore...I want to be better...I don't want a pill and I dnt need a pill anymore...not going to lie, it was one of the worst days of my life...
Day 2 - was a Monday...called in to work...more vomitting, no eating, shaking, weak, miserable...diarreah started too...I drug myself to the store and got unisom, immodium (critical to have), more nyquil, a big bottle of advil, and gatorade and saltines because all the medicine was going to be hard to keep down....I started a video diary of how I felt and how I was doing because I couldn't stand to look at the computer or type...
Day 3 - slightly better, still called out of work but was able to move about the house a bit...the sweating stopped and vomitting stopped but still couldn't eat more than saltines and broth and that wasn't much of that either...slept in 30 minute increments at night with lots of unisom and nyquil...found this site, attended an na meeting online...cried a lot
Days 4 - went back to work, struggled thru the morning but by afternoon was feelin okay...still taking a lot of immodium but no vomitting...still didn't eat...was able to sleep maybe an hour stretch with lots of med assistance and hot baths...did lots of hot baths first 3 days too and would sleep some in them as well...then would wake up, towel off, and climb in bed naked...was more comfortable than having any clothes clinging, bunching or touching me...
Day 5 - started to turn the corner...worked a full day, ate a little bit, was able to smile...forced myself to walk around outside a little and do some housework...really helped my legs feel less restless...was able to sleep about a 2hr stretch...
Days 6 & 7 - sleep started to return...started feeling like me again...could joke and laugh and eat...didn't need the hot bath to sleep
Week 2 - things just got better each day...sleep became something that just happened without effort, food tasted good and I had hunger again...started excersizing...started being really happy...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 132
Flush - Flush - Flush. Read what you said during W/D and remember you never have to go through this again. No more pills. As far as the ex - clean the slate and lose the money he owes you. You've come a long way and you can handle this. Don't think about it. Just flush and have a future.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Dont go back here again:
Originally Posted by Carbie 
Hi folks! I am on day 3, hour 51 to be specific, since my last dose of oxycodone...i had started slow about 4 years ago with the addiction taking hold around 3 years ago...i was using typically anywhere from 60-150mg a day, depending on supply and mood...and in the last 4 or 5 months i had started snorting it rather than just popping them...Friday I was running out and had that same familiar panic set in and it just pissed me off...heres this addiction taking my time with my boyfriend and with my kids away...its draining my bank account...its immobilizing me so that i can't just go have a good time without being sure i have pills...DONE!! So..Sunday was the worst even though i had a dose, allbeit a small one, in the early morning...by Sunday night it was like death walking...or not walking as the case may be...i couldn't even look at my phone to send a text message and i just puked and puked all day...yesterday i called in to work, still wasnt feeling good, still puking, still unable to eat, but slightly more alive...today it is getting a bit better...took one more day off work...i've had a couple saltines and a peice of dry toast...first thing id eaten since saturday night...even had a smoke this morning which, while i realize is an adddiction too, was nice to feel like i could do that normal activity without a pill...sleep is really tough but i was able to get a couple hours last night thanks to immodium and unisom...i feel like im going to make it...about how long shuold i expect these withdrawals to last? anyone? am i going to start to feel really better soon?
thanks in advance for all the help and support!!
thanks in advance for all the help and support!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 200
Glad you came on here for support! C'mon Carbie, we are at the same day, actually you are one day ahead of me. FLUSH those pills now.
Also, tell your ex-husband to NOT pay you in drugs ANYMORE. Sounds like he's trying to sabotage you
~Pandie
Also, tell your ex-husband to NOT pay you in drugs ANYMORE. Sounds like he's trying to sabotage you
~Pandie
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
Carbie,
Hope you flushed them and got rid of them. There is no saving for a rainy day. Since I HAVE relapsed I can only tell you that they won't make you feel good so it's now worth it. They you go through the drag of feeling bad about yourself. Hope you are well and the good angel won!
Hope you flushed them and got rid of them. There is no saving for a rainy day. Since I HAVE relapsed I can only tell you that they won't make you feel good so it's now worth it. They you go through the drag of feeling bad about yourself. Hope you are well and the good angel won!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 26
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com (second try need information)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...READ THIS...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...READ THIS...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 26
The link didnt work.. It was the link to your post about what your detox experience was like.. Do you really wanna go back to that and go through that AGAIN?? I know if I was through it I would not go back... Just remember what that 1st and 2nd day felt like then decide whether you wanna take those pills. Good luck and I hope you do the right thing for you.
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