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Crack Cocaine addiction.. who can please help me understand?



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Crack Cocaine addiction.. who can please help me understand?

Old 04-01-2012, 12:04 AM
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Crack Cocaine addiction.. who can please help me understand?

I have already written one post earlier this week... but things are getting worse in my life. :o( I am very frusterated.. crack cocaine is sucking the life of one of my closest friends.. If you have ever "been there" or "done that" I would appreciate your input. I dont know where else to turn.

I am the friend of a person who is quickly becoming addicted to this drug.. He has been smoking for only a few months but I can already see the difference in his personality.

He was a happy, loving, good-natured person less than a year ago.. we use to have alot of fun.. Now, he is like a stranger. He'd rather stay home and play guitar (ignore me) when I visit. When we do go out.. he walks so fast I can hardly keep up. I tell him he is being rude.. he doesnt see it.

Im not his gf but Im his only friend... Ive known him 20 years. I do care about him. I hate what he is doing to himself but he wont stop.. if I try to talk to him he gets irritated and walks off. I fear in his mind, he doesnt even see me as his friend anymore. Is that possible after ALL weve been through? Will someone please give me some insite as to what might be going on in his head?
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Old 04-01-2012, 01:06 AM
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Hey there, so sorry to hear about you and your friend. I can't offer much advice on this, but since you're asking for insight as an addict I'll go out on a limb...

Most drugs trigger the reward centres of your brain. Strong drugs can make you feel better than you ever thought it was possible to feel. The downside is that when you're off them, you carry on wanting that high. And now your brain knows how good things CAN be, everything else pales by comparison. Yes, even all those years of friendship.

I'm really sorry, but in the face of a drug like crack, it's really unlikely that your friend is going to listen to words of reason. My heart goes out to you both. Remind him of who he is, be there when he crashes and is ready to clean up, and don't give him any money. Give him the website for this forum if you like - reading it might shake him up a bit.

But do not, do not blame yourself in any way. And stick around here - you're very very welcome, all of the time.

Sorry I couldn't offer anything more concrete.

Still

xx
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Old 04-01-2012, 06:46 AM
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For me, that crack high was so good, I had to lose everything to finally see how bad it was. I know others who are still smoking it after 20+ years.

I don't have real advice, but maybe you can talk with him and help him see how much money he's losing, how his behavior is and support him as you are. Other than this, I don't know how to help.

Prayers sent to you both,
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:47 PM
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Originally Posted by stillsleeping View Post

Most drugs trigger the reward centres of your brain.
xx
That's exactly 100% correct! THe drug triggers your brain reward center for so long that it goes into a primal fight or flight response when the reward is threatened! Addiction is a VERY powerful thing that makes it so incredibly difficult to stop.
Why would the brain want to stop and go into shock & pain for days or weeks when it can simply keep doing what it's been doing. I kid you not, the threat of taking the drug away is tantamount to threatening death and pain it's so strong. I'm not kidding either!
You have to realize too that drugs completely alter the brains chemistry! So much so that it turns people into completely different beings. Beings that want NOTHING more than to stay high!
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:57 PM
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I'm a recovering crack addict, but I had to hit a really low bottom to get to that point. My bf, at that time, had been smoking crack for decades. I let him go when I chose recovery. He died a couple years ago.

I had abused other things, but crack is the one thing that brought me to my knees. I know you care about this friend, but I'd recommend keeping your distance. Most crack addicts think nothing of stealing whatever they need to support their habit..family, friends..doesn't matter. I led a pretty high-risk lifestyle, and am grateful my true friends stayed away from me, TBH.

You will never understand the pull of addiction unless you are an addict. It's not a moral failing, it's just the way it is. Heck, I DO understand it, but still get angry when someone I love is in the depths of active addiction.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-01-2012, 06:10 PM
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So .. if there was a bag of crack rocks sitting on the desk attached to a string... and the only way to get the bag open is to pull the sting.. which would then shoot a pistol into his head (or lets even say.. my head) .. Is this drug so powerful that he would pull the string???

I mean.. I dont mean to complain but to say your "brain now knows how good it CAN be".. really... What the "f" is it that is so great?..is it a feeling like having orgasms?? (sorry, that's the only intense feeling I can think of that I have experienced).. or is it a physical thing like oxygen.. that you must have it to breath. Now Im almost tempted to go try this magical dust myself if it's THAT great.

Im sorry.. I dont mean to sound like Im angry at anyone. Im just VERY upset. I dont see how a FEELING can turn me into a zombie who doesnt love my family anymore.
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Old 04-01-2012, 06:25 PM
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Yeah. My ex bf chose to sit in an abandoned building, smoking on a crack pipe when he had pneumonia...and he died there. I went from being an RN to jumping into cars with strange men to pay for my habit...got beaten up, choked, you name it and went straight back to crack.

Trust me, the high was good....until it wasn't. I had a little clean time and had made steps at getting my life back. I couldn't afford the amount of crack it would have taken to keep me high 24/7 and drown out the shame, remorse, guilt, etc.

I understand the anger, but it's not going to change anything.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-01-2012, 07:14 PM
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Originally Posted by kcola View Post
So .. if there was a bag of crack rocks sitting on the desk attached to a string... and the only way to get the bag open is to pull the sting.. which would then shoot a pistol into his head (or lets even say.. my head) .. Is this drug so powerful that he would pull the string???

I mean.. I dont mean to complain but to say your "brain now knows how good it CAN be".. really... What the "f" is it that is so great?..is it a feeling like having orgasms?? (sorry, that's the only intense feeling I can think of that I have experienced).. or is it a physical thing like oxygen.. that you must have it to breath. Now Im almost tempted to go try this magical dust myself if it's THAT great.

Im sorry.. I dont mean to sound like Im angry at anyone. Im just VERY upset. I dont see how a FEELING can turn me into a zombie who doesnt love my family anymore.
And if you've never been addicted, you'll never have an understanding! Opiates and crack generates a felling much like orgasm... only for hours and days at a time. Matter of fact, when on opiates, you lose your desire for sex as if you just had it 50 times... No joke...
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Old 04-01-2012, 07:40 PM
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((AMY)) Im so sorry Amy.. sounds like youve been through alot and I didn't mean to sound disrespectful to your situation. I am glad you found something that made you decide to change your life for the better.

As for my friend.. he is just starting his path to hell .. he's NOT smoking daily yet; only like crazy on weekends.. he hasnt lost anything yet (only his fun personality).. he still has a full time job, a car, and a 25 foot sailboat he's been building for three years.. it was his dream to sail it, this year. He still knows well enough to stop on Sunday so he doesnt have drug hangovers at work. Its my only ray of hope he stil makes some rational decision.. . for now.

Its just so frustrating to be told in so many words....he gone, the drug has won, I need to give up and walk away. Wait!! he hasnt sold his soul to the devil yet!! I dont know what to do .. I hate this!!!!!!!

I would just kill for him call me up (like he use) and say "what's up chicken butt" . I miss him terrribly.
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Old 04-01-2012, 07:48 PM
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Imagine if the Devil could choose one thing to destroy Humanity, and have Humanity choose to do it repeatedly for hours and days and weeks and years on end, until there was nothing left....That is Crack. Once an addict inhales the first puff, that person will not stop smoking it constantly until he/she either runs out of money, or physically cannot stay awake any longer. That is the cold hard truth about Crack. When actively using, or waiting to use, in the throes of addiction, the addict doesn't care about anything else..not family, obligations, bank accounts, health, nothing. Imagine pure evil as a substance....it would look exactly like little white pieces of rock...
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Old 04-01-2012, 07:49 PM
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(((Kcola))) - no disrespect taken. I did okay on crack, for a while, too. Even after I got clean, then started "dabbling"...could easily do it once a month. Then twice, then....relapse.

Just because he isn't doing it 24/7, doesn't mean he isn't going to. I hate to sound like "Debbie downer" but my motto is prepare for the worst, pray for the best...and hands off the addict.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-02-2012, 01:20 AM
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Originally Posted by kcola View Post
((AMY)) Im so sorry Amy.. sounds like youve been through alot and I didn't mean to sound disrespectful to your situation. I am glad you found something that made you decide to change your life for the better.

As for my friend.. he is just starting his path to hell .. he's NOT smoking daily yet; only like crazy on weekends.. he hasnt lost anything yet (only his fun personality).. he still has a full time job, a car, and a 25 foot sailboat he's been building for three years.. it was his dream to sail it, this year. He still knows well enough to stop on Sunday so he doesnt have drug hangovers at work. Its my only ray of hope he stil makes some rational decision.. . for now.

Its just so frustrating to be told in so many words....he gone, the drug has won, I need to give up and walk away. Wait!! he hasnt sold his soul to the devil yet!! I dont know what to do .. I hate this!!!!!!!

I would just kill for him call me up (like he use) and say "what's up chicken butt" . I miss him terrribly.
Hon I am so sorry that we're making you feel like there's no hope. That just isn't the case. I think I'm right in saying that everyone who's replied to you so far is a recovering addict, me included. So of course your friend isn't lost to you. We're recovering and so can he. I think what we're trying to tell you is that this is serious, and not to feel that because you can't say the right words to make him put down th pipe that this is in any way your fault. In your shoes I'd write him a shtload of letters and notes, leave them lying around, post them to his house. It's easy to walk away from someone who's talking, not so easy to screw up and throw away words thay've written. Keep reminding him of all the things you've done together, things yr doing today, signpost him to places like this, tell him how much you miss him and how his drug is taking him away from you. I don't know how much impact it'll have, but like I said, it's what I would do.

Have hope. People recover. And please please keep posting - we can be really supportive and will aleays be here xxx
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Old 04-02-2012, 02:12 AM
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Second what Impurrfect said, it's hard to try and help when you've never been addicted before, I don't have much advice to give you except to keep your distance; as much as you care about your friend, when you're addicted you don't think clearly at all. Addicts are unpredictable, I'm still facing investigations for aggravated battery to a stranger who made some snide comment on the street. Just be careful I suppose. You could also refer you friend to some medical help if that helps.

Originally Posted by Impurrfect View Post
I'm a recovering crack addict, but I had to hit a really low bottom to get to that point. My bf, at that time, had been smoking crack for decades. I let him go when I chose recovery. He died a couple years ago.

I had abused other things, but crack is the one thing that brought me to my knees. I know you care about this friend, but I'd recommend keeping your distance. Most crack addicts think nothing of stealing whatever they need to support their habit..family, friends..doesn't matter. I led a pretty high-risk lifestyle, and am grateful my true friends stayed away from me, TBH.

You will never understand the pull of addiction unless you are an addict. It's not a moral failing, it's just the way it is. Heck, I DO understand it, but still get angry when someone I love is in the depths of active addiction.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-02-2012, 04:12 AM
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I have written ALOT of email since my visit (I live 8 hours away so I have to choice but to keep my distance)... my first few emails of course where panicing.. then next few were trying to rationalizing.. then I got angry and returned to panicing.. then I think my last few I feel guilty for getting angry and reminded him of roaming the beach, having fun, and building and flying kites that looked just like "Hello Kitty".. and this was just six months ago..

Of course, he hasnt responded to a single one... so I sit here imagining him in his dark little apartment by himself smoking on his little pipe getting high as that kite we flew.

And I kick myself I didnt see the signs back in Jan when I first noticed the strange behaviors starting..

Anyhow.. I guess the sitting around and waiting and worrying (especially on weekends) This is the worst part. I also think part of the reason he is not responding to me .. at least NOW is because I did do ONE painful thing this weekend.. I told on him. I told his BIG brother this weekend (the one my friend loves and respects the most).. I didnt want to do it, but I needed someone else to be on my side. Big Bro was very kind to me and appreciateive.. he said he was going to go check this out, but I havent heard a word from him either. I hope I didnt make a wrong move. Now Friend is going to hate me forever... so what the hell. Let the show begin. ..
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Old 04-02-2012, 04:28 AM
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I'm praying for him. I was a crackhead for 30+ years. Lost everything more than once. Finally I have 6 months no crack Thanks to the good folks here at SR. Do not do anything to enable him. Do not loan or give him money for any reason, hide all your jewelry and valuable possessions, and never let him use your car.
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Old 04-02-2012, 08:19 AM
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(((Kcola))) - I'm glad you told your big brother. You are right - YOU need support, and your friend is not in a position to give it to you. He's probably downplaying what he's doing.."not THAT bad, just do it on weekends, still have the job/boat/etc.) but we consider those "yets", as in "not that bad YET, haven't lost anything YET).

Again, I know this is hard to hear. I got frustrated when my exbf, and I understand addiction. I'm also a codie, though, and guess I still had delusions that since we shared the addiction, we could share the recovery. I'd recommend finding something else to do on weekends to keep your mind occupied. I spent a few decades worrying about loved A's, and it never changed anything. Those who have chosen recovery? Totally supportive. Those who don't? Well, I didn't listen to anyone else until I was ready.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:37 PM
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Okay.. Im trying to find things to keep my mind off of this.... but it's very hard to do.

I was thinking, in a way.. I feel like I have an addiction myself.. and it's tearing me up inside not to have it. My addiction.... is "friendship"....and all the good feelings and memories that come with it.

I want my friendship back so badly, it hurts!! I cant eat or sleep..I dream about it. Im depressed because I dont have it anymore. The more my friendship pulls away, the more I want it.. and I worry about it. Damn I miss it!!! Im getting desperate now. I literally want to do harm to whoever did this to my friendship. Just how far will I go?

I seek help from others.. but I dont like being told by good people.. "leave friendship alone".. "it's out of your control". I hate that!!!.. how dare they say that.. I cant let go!! ... but I know they are right.

So you see.. I do know how it feels to be "addicted" .. we both shared simialar symptoms when the "good feeling" goes away.. and all you hope for is another chance to have it again. I miss my friendship soooo much!!
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Old 04-03-2012, 03:41 PM
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(((kcola))) - I was as addicted to my XABF's as I eventually became to crack. I read a LOT through the friends & families forums, and though I still have loved ones who are active in their addiction, I am better able to detach from them and their actions. I spent decades being wrapped up in someone else, lost my way, and I don't want to do that any more.

My love didn't make them clean/sober, my love didn't keep the one alive. I can still love...I just do it from a distance when addiction is involved.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 04-03-2012, 06:10 PM
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((Amy)) I hope you dont mind me asking.. but since you have been to that "hell" and back.. I am curious about something. IF my friend does comes clean someday..... now that he has experience this drug (from what Im told) the most awesome euphoric feelings in the world ... someone even said "like having sex 50x" (wow!!)... Will it be possible for him to enjoy normal intimacy with a real person again? . or will it always be compared to that drug induced heaven which he cant have anymore?
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Old 04-03-2012, 06:27 PM
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(((kcola))) - Yes, absolutely. I can be totally overwhelmed with gratitude and joy at some of the simplest things...flowers blooming, little baby goats in a meadow down the road from where I live. It didn't happen right away, but it has happened.

I never paid attention to that kind of stuff when I was using, but today? Oh yeah, life is good even when it's not. I don't compare anything to the crack high. To me? Remembering that just takes me back to how big a hole I dug myself into, and it's just not worth it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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