steven71

Going to be detoxing soon, doing a really fast taper. Talked to my pharmacist and decided to go this route. I am anticipating some significant withdrawal symptoms and since I have failed so many times before, I am hoping to get some feedback.

I am not really concerned about physical symptoms, those can be treated. My main concern is the emotional symptoms that always accompany withdrawal. Unlike most people, I tend to get really tired when I withdrawal and insomnia is not a problem, I usually end up sleeping more than I should, 12 hours a day or more. I have started exercising, just some light walking and will attempt to continue this over the next few weeks. For anyone who has successfully come off opiates, would like to hear your insight in terms of what worked for you, especially over the first week or so. One of my biggest problems is isloating, I tend to isolate a lot when I am withdrawing, not wanting to talk to anyone.

Unfortunately, my phsychiatrist sent me a letter indicating that she'll I have to reschedule my April appointment because she'll be out of town. So it's going to be a long wait before I get any sort of medical help. That means I'll likely be on the benzos for longer than I had hoped.

keltie

Good luck. I think it's great that you don't suffer from the insomnia, as for most people that is the most troublesome part. Sleep is so healing, and it helps you face the day with some strength if you can get sleep. I think sleeping is a great way to deal with detox symptoms! Do you have any time off work so you can deal with this?

steven71

Thanks Keltie, nice that someone took the time to respond. Rest is important but sleeping 10+ hours a day is just not an option for me. I set my own hours but the business I am in requires a lot of morning work, I wish I could take a week or two off but I'm not in a position to do that. I guess the good news is at least I can work from home, a lot of people don't have that luxury. I am planning on going to an NA meeting in the next couple of days, hoping to get some support there as I'm sure there will be addicts who have been through withdrawals there. Thanks again for your response!

Stopdropburn

@steven I totally understand the "isolating" part. It's something that has moderately happened to me over this past month. However, I talked to my counselor, about how I sort of planned for a month or two of just focusing on getting myself healthy and comfortable in my own skin again, not worrying about others and socializing per se. He said that was actually a really good idea, and to go with it as long as I was finding the support I needed here. Other than my coworkers and this site, I literally have only been hanging out with one close friend of mine, but I usually go to his place.....just kind of a way to keep sane and not stuck inside for days. But I find it helps because he's a close, dependable friend, and I don't have to worry about putting on a face or entertaining or being overwhelmed by too many people. I have some plans coming up to go out with a group in a couple weeks, so we'll see how it goes - but also close friends. Like keltie said, at least you don't have to worry about insomnia, that was terrible for me....sleep patterns still aren't right, but sleeping at least. Good luck.

steven71

Well, I think the biggest reason I don't get insomnia is because I'm still on klonopin and xanax, once those two drugs go, and they will within a couple months, I'll be dealing with that issue as well. Since going to impatient treatment/detox is not an option for me, I have to deal with one drug at a time. My psychiatrist dipped on me and I can't get into see her until the second week in May, until then I'll have to stay on the benzos because I will need an MD to help me taper. You're right though, insomnia is one of the biggest problems but I still have to deal with life when I am awake. I wish I could sleep 20 hours a day! The constant fatigue, the yawning, the depression, the hopelessness and severe cravings are already there. My body aches and my stomach is hurting. The only positive thing to this point is that my constipation issue is gone! lol I know no one likes to hear about that but lets face it, when you're an opiate addict it's a real pain in the butt (no pun)

I also have one friend that I can count on through thick and thin, he's been sober over 4 years but he's never gone through this kind of withdrawal. Heck, a lot of people in NA and especially AA have never really had to deal with serious physical withdrawal symptoms. I haven't been taking a ton of hydrocodone compared to the height of my use but I've still been on this drug for over 1/4 of my life and my body is used to having it. I'm trying to think about the light at the end of the tunnel, the positive things about not taking pills. Feeling and (hopefully) looking better, even my family has commented on the fact that I look like s$$t lately.

Thanks stopdropburn, hope things are going well for you.

Stopdropburn

@steven Yeah, the benzo's definitely help sleeping! I've used Xanax for sleep, Klonopin for anxiety. They just seem to go hand in glove with opiates don't they? Definitely boot the opiates first and foremost, then work with your doctor on tapering the benzo's...I've never had to use them in such long-terms that I've been dependant on them, but I understand benzo's are much more damaging to the mind and body if you don't have a proper taper off them. I imagine they'd get you off Xanax first since it's stronger, but I guess you'll find out. All the "blah symptoms", it's annoying, but I still get them too. Fatigue and yawning, water eyes and sneezing....it sometimes comes in waves, or short bursts, then levels out again (except the sneezing). But I just get my mind wrapped around something or get to doing something like working out, even if I'm tired I will get the energy to wake up from adrenaline. If I'm at work I walk on breaks with headphones on to pick me up again. Any time that I use Xanax though I notice a significant decrease in energy, motivation and even often I get more irritable, even at miniscule doses....I think it's possible that could also be a factor for you. It's hard to tell when you still have meds that have to be taken. I am doing pretty good myself. Just trying not to lose momentum each day. Easy to stay sober when you want, not easy to make yourself go go go all day when you're so used to years of "No go go go for me thank you" Take care.

stillsleeping

Hey steven, nice to meet you

When my H got off opiate painkillers he was left with associated side effects for a while, notably fatigue and head pains. These went away fairly quickly. It wasn't until he'd been clean for six months that he started to realise how many things he'd never realised were associated with the pills, well, were down to the pills! Things like freezing hands and feet, blurred vision at night, snoring (oh dear lord the snoring!) ...the list goes on. He'd been on opiates for nearly half his life so had always thought these things were just part of his normal make up you know? His favourite was how good his skeleton started to feel without the junk - he talked about his muscles lying easy on a strong frame, like everyting fitted right for the first time in his life.

Okay. None of that will help you much over the next few weeks (!) but I just thought I'd stick in with a fee things to look forward to

Good luck hun - I'll be looking out for you xx

finaltime

Steven, the only advice I can give is funny movies, lots and lots of fluids, masterbation (ok that might be too far but I am trying to help), and a journal. Everyone seems to want a quick fix to help with withdrawals, but if it was that easy we would all still be using, well most of us. I have been through withdrawals more times then I have 8 course meals, and I know them so so so well. Even my husband knows when I start sneezing, and stop smoking that I am finally sober! Ahh man... That is the reality. The good thing is, it passes! unless you choose to keep using. I am not in your shoes exactly, as I was never on any benzos or anything (I would've been but they did nothing for me, just made me sleepy) so the best bet is to talk to your Dr. Honestly, you can do this. If I can make it 42 days after spending a good 8 grand on 30mg oxy's this summer, you can quit! As for the people telling you that you look like shi** just tell them, well I feel like it too, but not for LONG! At 42 days I finally don't get told I look tired daily. Seems when I was using no matter how hot I thought I looked, no matter how much make up I painted on, someone always told me I look tired! But I was high, so I thought I looked great! Stay strong.

stillsleeping

HAHA! Can you believe how horny you get when you clean up???
This made me giggle. Thanks Icandoit

steven71

Thanks so much for the insight and help, you don't know how much I appreciate it. Yea, right now my opiate addiction is not nearly as bad as other people have been through. I've known a lot of people in my life who were doing 400 mg of oxy per day, had 300 dollar a day heroin habits or are taking a ton of methadone. I think a lot of it does have to do with how long you've been on opiates, over 1/4 of my life and at times, I have been taking close to 100 mg of hydro or oxycodone. It's amazing how high my tolerance is. I remember being able to take 15 mg of hydrocodone and being high for 3 hours. I can take 40 mg now and might catch a buzz for 45 minutes if I'm lucky. So that leaves me with basically taking it just to feel normal, the high is long gone and the chase just isn't worth it anymore.

I have gone off benzos cold turkey a few times, as I mentioned on my introduction post, I'll never make that mistake again! The good news now is that I am not taking the massive doses I was once on, instead of being up close to 10 mg (klonopin-xanax) I am at about 2-3 mg.

Thanks stillsleeping, the story about your husband is encouraging. Not sure if you were referring to your husband being out of shape, or losing his muscle tone, I can definitely relate to that. I used to be rock solid at 29 and looked good with my shirt off. Now, I couldn't take my shirt off at the beech without getting a few looks of disgust! lmao

Sex is actually great for benzo withdrawal because it acts on some of the same receptors (GABBA) as benzos. No question my sex drive has been low the last couple years, so much so that I pretty much stopped dating! lol I have a date lined up for a week from Friday, probably won't be feeling all that hot but at 41, I have to take my opportunities when they are available!

My stomach was all jacked up when I woke up today, feeling like someone was stepping on it all day long, can't count the number of times I sneezed and yawned. Trying to find an OTC med that works well for pain, I do have pain issues. I am regretting the fact that I through away about 30 tylenol 3 tabs I had. It would have been a much smoother ride if I could have used those to taper. As far as hydrocodone is concerned, I am out. Like most addicts, my taper plan turned out to be a joke as I ended up taking about 150 mg Saturday and Sunday. Wondering if there are meetings out there specifically for those who are dealing with pill addictions. NA is great but so many are there for meth and other street drugs, not sure if they'll be able to relate to my pill addiction or not. Guess I'll find out.

Incidently, a friend of mine who is aware of my situation offered me some methadone to help me get through the withdrawals, I told him no way in hell I'm touching that stuff. Especially when you consider the fact that I'm on two different benzos, the risk would far outweigh the benefit. I had initially called him because I was concerned about the fact he was combining methadone and klonopin at high doses, typical addict, he ignored my concern and offered my pills!

Stopdropburn

"Incidently, a friend of mine who is aware of my situation offered me some methadone to help me get through the withdrawals, I told him no way in hell I'm touching that stuff. "

-That was awesome to read!

steven71

In all honestly, if methadone wasn't such an unforgiving drug, I might have taken him up on it because my body is screaming for any kind of opiate. The problem is, there seems to be a very fine line between relief and death with methadone, especially when it's mixed with benzos. I'm not sure why this is the case but all I had to do was a simple Google search, and I came up with more dead people than I care to count. Withdrawals are horrible and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy but going to sleep and not waking up? No one really knows with absolute certainty whats on the other side, I'm not ready to find that out at 41.

The withdrawls were pretty bad today, but I was able to spend a couple hours out of the house and on such a nice day, I have to admit it was a good move. Now I need to figure out how I can enjoy life again without having to depend on opiates. I am maintaining a small dose of klonopin, decided to ditch the xanax. Just taking enough klonopin to function. I'm sick and tired of these $$$$$$$ pills.

Stopdropburn

That's great dude! I hear you....you just never know what the heck will happen when you mix the wrong stuff. So glad to hear you declined that. Methadone is harsh...even on it's own - I would know. That would have set you back a couple days IMO. If you already know you can handle a bad day of w/d then you know there's no reason to try and "relieve" it. The aches and pains and bugs suck....but it's just a matter of days....just days....how about the balls on those guys who go out crabbing for 3 months in the frickin frozen sea!! There's some torture! When I was feeling real bad and craving, I would think about all the people in the world who have gone through war and famine and torture and drought and pain and suffering....and I would realize - "As bad as this seems, it's nothing compared to what others have endured...if they can do that, I can do this.". Might not help everyone, but it certainly put things into perspective for me. And yeah dude, at 41, you have waaaay too many years left to enjoy!

Stopdropburn

That's great dude! I hear you....you just never know what the heck will happen when you mix the wrong stuff. So glad to hear you declined that. Methadone is harsh...even on it's own - I would know. That would have set you back a couple days IMO. If you already know you can handle a bad day of w/d then you know there's no reason to try and "relieve" it. The aches and pains and bugs suck....but it's just a matter of days....just days....how about the balls on those guys who go out crabbing for 3 months in the frickin frozen sea!! There's some torture! When I was feeling real bad and craving, I would think about all the people in the world who have gone through war and famine and torture and drought and pain and suffering....and I would realize - "As bad as this seems, it's nothing compared to what others have endured...if they can do that, I can do this.". Might not help everyone, but it certainly put things into perspective for me. And yeah dude, at 41, you have waaaay too many years left to enjoy!

Stopdropburn

Oops - my pc froze for a moment and double posted....sorry

steven71

Yea, absolutely! When I'm in a bad way, I always try to remember a time when things were much worse. I think back to the time when I was going cold turkey off 8 mgs of xanax after being on benzos for 12 years. Barely being able to stand up, crying for 45 minutes straight and literally not sleeping for days on end. I do a lot of reading, mainly history and in times like these, reading about some dark periods in history helps me a great deal. Our veterans, men who have suffered and languished for years in POW camps. The horrific treatment of the Jews and other unfortunates at the hands of the Nazis during WW2. I think about my sister going through labor without narcotics a few days ago and how painful that must have been. It's not that I enjoy reading about terrible things happening to people, it simply puts things back into persprective. In the scheme of things, this is difficult but its certainly not a tragedy or true suffering. I had a good friend who worked on one of those boats for 5 years off and on, let me tell you, it takes a tough SOB to handle that kind of work. I could never do it.

As far as the done, I still believe it saves more people than it kills and deaths can be prevented when the folks responsible for dosing are properly trained. The problem comes when someone in my situation takes it for relief, or when a kid with no tolerance gets ahold of a couple pills. Again, it seems to be very unforgiving. Tempting but not enough to really entertain the thought.