Impurrfect

Today, I went by my favorite meadow and though they were way away from the road, I was able to see my baby goats. I adore them, they are SO cute. The lady who has them also grows GORGEOUS flowers, so I said "thank you" for all of it.

A dear friend is making great strides in recovery from an addiction I shared. Great job, great money, and supportive people. I couldn't be more happy for him or proud of him

I've let a few classmates know of my past, and as this week's assignment is "addiction in a healthcre worker" I can explain things as they have no medial backrgound, much less an addiction one.

Who'da thunk...miss opiate/crackhead is helping my classmates.

Recovery rocks..no two ways about it.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

Today I had the internal debate of "work vs school". Both, I have a lot to do, but chose to do a little bit of work, and get busy on the school stuff.

I'm grateful that I'm responsible today. I have every intention of doing my best at both my job and school. I've also accepted that some of the school stuff, I just don't get, but I'm not the only one, and I can only do my best.

My dad has a couple of trips coming up, going to Miami. I wanna go!!! I've never been that far south in FL, the ocean is what I consider "God's tranquilizer" because of how it calms me.

I can't go...I have to be responsible Maybe he'll get another trip down there when I can actually go.

Responsibility has it's downside..can't do stuff I wanna do when I want to, but have to admit..doing what I NEED to do? Let's just say recovery ROCKS!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

Today, our weather is what it SHOULD have been for a while...in the 70's, sunshine galore, nice breeze blowing (rather than 85+ and hot).

I'm working through one of my difficult classes. Keep reminding myself that I AM going to get all this, rather than listen to the "OMG, I am NEVER going to get this stuff" voice. Pretty sure no one ever died because of a statistics or medical coding class

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

I just spent hours texting and pm'ing very good friends of mine. I am amazed...people who live hundreds of miles, even in other countries, I have people I care about and they care for me.

The majority are right here, on SR,, but also some F2F friends and family. I still live in dysfunction, try to stay out of the drama, and have actually gotten better at if the more I listen to the people who care.

Recovery ROCKS!

Impurrfect

Though my school has totally frustrated me today, I am grateful that I'm IN school and am, so far, passing everything. Also grateful I still have my job.

Most of all, grateful for recovery because if I don't have that, I don't have anything.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

Haven't been here in a few days, but have much to be grateful for:
- a job I love and bosses I love even more (and they love ME!)
- doing good in school, even when I'm convinced that I'm failing
- going to visit my aunt and uncle for Easter weekend...they're not getting any younger, but they adore me and I adore them
- just found out from a classmate (one of the few that doesn't know my history) that she is struggling, may fail a class or two, because her husband is an addict, she is divorcing him and trying to get custody of her child. I reached out a hand as an RA and a recovering codie.
- I e-mailed my classmate on the school's site, which means my instructor may read it. I don't care, I'm done with the shame and remorse I used to feel. My program director and another instructor know my history and are very supportive. Like me or leave me...I'm FINALLY comfortable with the person I am.
- I told another classmate that though I know where I am, not quite sure where I'm GOING, but have faith that it's gonna be good

I am so very grateful for recovery

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

It's been a while again, but much to be grateful for. Just spent the weekend with my aunt and uncle who are some of the rocks in my foundation of recovery. I really didn't want to leave their house. My dad went with me, paid for all the gas of the 13-hour drive each way.

Got home, talked to an aunt on dad's side...she's had more tragedies in the past few months than anyone should ever endure, including the death of her son (my cousin). I was able to be supportive for her and tell her how much she means to me.

I'm torn... I want to be with BOTH aunts (one in Arkansas, one in California) but I can't...my consequences of addiction have left me broke, depending on my dad for help when I don't make enough at my job to cover bills.

I can beat myself up for all the mistakes I made, or I can be grateful for being able to support those who I love, and who love me. I choose to be grateful.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

I keep forgetting I have this thread! It started off to be a bad day, got a whopper of a bill from my recent trip to the ER after I fell down the stairs and knocked myself out. Couldn't get clarification on a couple of assignments. Was totally worried about money and everything else.

However, I get to help dad drive to Canada Sun/Mon, will be back in time to finish up any assignments, help him (I drive so he can sleep) and I'll make enough money to get some breathing room.

I have awesome friends and some very supportive family. The BEST part, though? When I saw the bill for over $3300, the LAST think I wanted to do was use. That's what got me IN the shape I'm in, and I'm doing everything I can to get my life back.

That was my first instinct to stuff for so long....get numb. All that did was get me in a mess and prolong my dealing with stuff.

So far, I still have all A's in my 4 classes and that's another thing to be grateful for...crack didn't kill all my brain cells

Times may be tough, but I'm tougher

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Rusty Zipper

cuz your too busy whine'n!

MycoolFitz

Are I allowed to post on this? I'm hust grateful for friends like you, a lifeline. Thanks

Impurrfect

((RZ)) - Hey, apparently whining is a good thing, as I feel a LOT better

((Fitz))) - of COURSE you're allowed to post here. I'm grateful for friends like you...I wouldn't BE where I am today (okay, still broke and living in dysfunction junction but HAPPY) if it weren't for everyone here on SR.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Rusty Zipper

"We Grat because we Whine, We Whine so we can Grat"

Impurrfect

So, today has been a rough day. I took a 26+ hour road trip with dad as he needed someone to drive while he slept (he's an expediter and 72 years old) and I needed the money. Found out a team member on a project at school has dropped out....4 days before our project is due, and had a 4-page paper to write.

Dad is on another trip and we've hung up on each other twice. Just part of living in "dysfunction junction".

The good news, though, is tomorrow is another day and I'll be okay. I can only do what I can do, be the best person I can. Got 2 of my 3 cats who won't let me out of their site and that's a good thing. Nothing like kitty snuggles to soothe a weary spirit.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Fandy

you will rise out of this Chaos....just get through it and finish the one most important thing today...that is going to give you sense of accomplishment!

Rusty Zipper

set to the catchy theme song of Petticoat Junction

Impurrfect

Once again, I forgot I had this thread.

I got through a tremendously hard semester in school, 4 classes? 4 A's I got to really know several classmates, they know my history and are extremely supportive (along with 3 instructors and the program director of the course I'm taking). One classmate has lost her cell phone, her car, her internet, etc. but we bonded and we helped each other. She was hospitalized and sick for over 2 weeks.

She's using her mom's cell phone, I actually talked to her mom one day, and she adores me, and I her. She swears that we ARE going to meet, as anyone her daughter truly LOVES, she wants to meet. Wow.

I've been on a rollercoaster of emotions. My dad is doing some stuff that is just wrong. Stepmom has been diagnosed with "the WORST case of fibro EVER" (her words) and can now get all the pills she wants. My niece is 4 mos. pregnant and doesn't have a clue or a good role model of what being a good parent is, as my dad and stepmom have babied her her whole life.

Today? I did my job. I was on top of the world. I don't make much, but I am good at what I do, and my bosses absolutely adore me They have said that whenever I get a "real job" or graduate...they are throwing a party!

Life stuff happens. There are good days, there are bad. The best thing in the world, is I know longer want to get numb. Sleep? Yeah, I do want to do that and make the world go away, but I wake up and keep on keepin' on.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

Yesterday, I was in quite a funk. I was working so hard at my job, catching up, that I worked myself OUT of a job next month (can only do the stores every other month). No income, bills out the ying-yang. A dear friend of mine, here, got let go from a job through no fault of his own and is struggling to survive. I was all of the HALT things.

I decided to have what my mom used to call a "pity party". I knew that I can get in a funk, I just don't stay there.

Today? Woke up, same problems, but had an attitude of gratitude. Finally got to meet my niece's baby-daddy, and he's a really good guy. We went out, as a family, to dinner.

I have some ideas bouncing around in my head about next month and the income thing, have no idea what the future holds, but quite sure that I'll get through whatever happens. I've been through worse, and it's only made me stronger.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

My aunt, who is one of the rocks of my foundation called ME for support!!! It's usually the other way around, I call her for support. I am honored and grateful that she called me to hear "it's okay to feel what you feel".

I've had a hard day..hormones, hot flashes, you name it. However, being there for someone who I adore and love? Absolutely priceless.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Impurrfect

I am having a hard day. Had to ask dad for money to cover my car insurance, have a month coming up with next to no income.

I'm trying, I really am, to be grateful. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, furbabies that love me. I have the most awesome friends, most of whom are here at SR.

Don't really do well in the "land of limbo" but BTDT, and I'll get through it again

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Fandy

:ghug3 i'm here Amy....you are awesome and sooner than later it's gonna happen for you. (or i'll slap them myself)