Stronger than my dealer
I Am Burning ; I Will Rise
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 286
Stronger than my dealer
My contact just messaged me urging to take a couple Suboxone and stressed how hard it's getting to get them and if I don't take any some guy is going to take them ALL in one pop! Oh my god! What am I going to do? I better get as many as I can NOW!!! Oh wait.....on second thought > and proceeded to respond "I'm two weeks clean, I'm done" with a smile. He is my only source. I wasn't expecting him to text me before me texting him, but I already had a game plan in place - which was made more tangible to me by sharing with a friend on here my plan in advance should I hear from him. Had I not already said "This is what I am going to do if I hear from him..." to someone, and made it a reality in my own head, I don't think I would have been able to do so as easily and quickly. I think it's important not only to keep my own word for me, but for those I tell "I'm done", because, what good is it to say it if you don't really mean it? I won't lie...there's a tiny angel-voiced demon in the back of my mind wanting so badly to woo me into submission....but I feel good that I refused to let something so simple and stupid ruin these past 13 days of work. I know exactly how I would feel and think about myself if I woke up tomorrow at 2 weeks clean, only to not actually be clean, been there before. I have a choice today to either be a "Recovering Addict" or a "Drug User".........I choose to be a recovering addict. I'm not proud of the "addict", but I am proud of "recovering". I hope anyone else in my position chooses to make the same decision. Good luck and best wishes everyone!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Stopdropburn))) - Awesome!! I know I've done similar things..think of something that may come up and talk it out with someone else. I got a call, not too long ago, about how I could make some really easy GOOD money. Told him "nah, I'm straight...been doing too good for too long to wanna go back, and besides, I'm allergic to handcuffs"
Granted, I'm broke thanks to the consequences of my addiction, but I've found out doing the next right thing doesn't lead to MORE bad consequences, and whatever he had in mind would have.
You did great!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Granted, I'm broke thanks to the consequences of my addiction, but I've found out doing the next right thing doesn't lead to MORE bad consequences, and whatever he had in mind would have.
You did great!
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I agree with Dee...blocking is my friend I have blocked facebook, text/calls, and e-mails with certain people. I have neither the time nor the inclination for nonsense.
I have blocked facebook, text/calls, and e-mails with certain people. I have neither the time nor the inclination for nonsense.
I Am Burning ; I Will Rise
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 286
Thank you all. I had in fact deleted his contact from my phone a few days ago on my way to work. I had not blocked him however. His response was actually "Congrats! Way to go!" Then he just proceeded with a quick question about if it was bad and how long it lasted, that was it. I was actually surprised he even responded after I said that. But it's clear to him I'm done. I don't have his number or message now, so I can't reach him. I didn't think about it earlier, but if he does happen to try and sell to me again I will surely block his number.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
I consider myself extremely fortunate to not know a soul who deals the stuff. I am strong but there has been times I know I could have faltered.
I believe that a person is the sum of his/her experiences AND those we chose to associate with.
I believe that a person is the sum of his/her experiences AND those we chose to associate with.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
Galatians 5:1
The Messiah has set us free so that we may enjoy the benefits of freedom. So keep on standing firm in it, and stop putting yourselves under the yoke of slavery again.
Addiction IS slavery!
Even if you are not a believer... Take these words of wisdom to heart.
The Messiah has set us free so that we may enjoy the benefits of freedom. So keep on standing firm in it, and stop putting yourselves under the yoke of slavery again.
Addiction IS slavery!
Even if you are not a believer... Take these words of wisdom to heart.
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Il
Posts: 86
Funny you brought that up mine always pressured me that someone else was going to buy them. The real truth was she needed me to buy them so she didn't take them and so I could make her house payment!
I know some of my friends must have called her because not one of my dealers have called me or texted. Swear they were always on me every week cause I would always take everything they had.
I bet it felt good knowing that the tides had turned and now you have the power not them holding a drug over your head.
Very proud of you. The chase was always exciting for me but once you realize u don't need the dope the power you get back is amazing.
I know some of my friends must have called her because not one of my dealers have called me or texted. Swear they were always on me every week cause I would always take everything they had.
I bet it felt good knowing that the tides had turned and now you have the power not them holding a drug over your head.
Very proud of you. The chase was always exciting for me but once you realize u don't need the dope the power you get back is amazing.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,906
Originally Posted by Stopdropburn 
My contact just messaged me urging to take a couple Suboxone and stressed how hard it's getting to get them and if I don't take any some guy is going to take them ALL in one pop! Oh my god! What am I going to do? I better get as many as I can NOW!!! Oh wait.....on second thought > and proceeded to respond "I'm two weeks clean, I'm done" with a smile. He is my only source. I wasn't expecting him to text me before me texting him, but I already had a game plan in place - which was made more tangible to me by sharing with a friend on here my plan in advance should I hear from him. Had I not already said "This is what I am going to do if I hear from him..." to someone, and made it a reality in my own head, I don't think I would have been able to do so as easily and quickly. I think it's important not only to keep my own word for me, but for those I tell "I'm done", because, what good is it to say it if you don't really mean it? I won't lie...there's a tiny angel-voiced demon in the back of my mind wanting so badly to woo me into submission....but I feel good that I refused to let something so simple and stupid ruin these past 13 days of work. I know exactly how I would feel and think about myself if I woke up tomorrow at 2 weeks clean, only to not actually be clean, been there before. I have a choice today to either be a "Recovering Addict" or a "Drug User".........I choose to be a recovering addict. I'm not proud of the "addict", but I am proud of "recovering". I hope anyone else in my position chooses to make the same decision. Good luck and best wishes everyone!
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