beyondthesky

I slipped again a few days ago, and I'm feeling really down in the dumps. I feel itching under my skin, through my scalp, and my mood is very flat. I feel corrupted to the core, and I put myself in a stupid position again. Thankfully, those people that I went back (the drug friends), are leaving town. Maybe I can finally have some peace, but it all just seems really hopeless right now.

I don't know whether to be pissed off, or upset, or happy that I can recognize that help is still needed. I don't know what to think, everything seems very confusing. When does this garbage ever stop?

Stopdropburn

Give it time. Stick with your plan. Get away from or ignore the people you use with and be firm with yourself about actively seeking. When I get up tomorrow it will be my 10th day free of my DOC. I still have cravings, still not sleeping properly and feeling generally ill....but you can handle it. It won't kill you, but you will get stronger. You need food and water to live, not chemicals, none of us do. You can totally do it if you put your mind to it. Keep up the effort. You can be pissed iff and upset, but be happy that you got it out and you know your weakness and now you've experienced it, you can get further next time. It's only a few days of being sick to have your life again Good luck, take care.

keltie

I think this is the key. You can learn from relapses- and it sounds like you have! Start over- you can do it!!

IvanKatz

Relapses are part of the process. The important thing is learning from them and not just forgetting about them.
Stay away from the enablers and stay on track. Get yourself interested in something because I speak from experience when I say that boredom will destroy your determination.

beyondthesky

It is possible, but it's a pain in the ass. I can't sleep, I eat like mad, and my scalp is still itchy. I see my therapist today, so maybe I'll be able to have a vent session.

Stopdropburn

Just like you said - IT IS POSSIBLE. If you have a therapist you should totally talk and vent to them, that's what they are there for. I have my first therapy session this Thur, and originally I didn't want them to know about my addiction/recovery...but now that I've come here and had time to think, I know I will bring it up. I want to get the best possible recovery...physically and mentally. Take advantage of what is available to you to get through this. You can do it. Good luck at your appointment.