BrianD

Well, I'm really early in my recovery, and actually doing good so far and plan to continue to do so. However a question has arisen in me, that concerns the 24hr chip. I know the chips are somewhat trivial to some of yall but for some reason I'd really like to have one.

Anyways the backdrop to my situation is this. I have been a polydrug (multiple drugs) user for about six years. I decided to get clean about 8 days ago, and was doing really well until last Friday night, during which time I drank for my last time (yeah I know what your thinking, I was dissapointed in myself).

So anyways my last drug (alcohol) use was on Friday and today is Monday. But the problem that occurs is that I have to taper my benzo use (hopefully 2 month taper).

So technically I guess you could say i'm "still using", but I have already begun the taper and basically am only tapering because I basically was twitching, hallucinating, etc off of benzo withdrawal.

In your opinion should I just bite the bullet and wait out my benzo taper before I accept a 24hr chip?

I just don't want to go against the spirit of NA's uncompromising total sobriety goal.

Threshold

My understanding is that the first chip is our commitment to getting clean and working the program. We don't have to BE clean when we pick it up, we are committing to the program and living clean.

As far as the benzo taper, I'd talk to a few folks there, your sponsor if you have one, or when you get one, to get their take on when to start counting towards the 30 day chip. (in my group it was key rings)

Awesome on your clean time from all the things you ARE clean from. That's huge! Benzos are a b****, you'll never be sorry you got off THAT merry go round!

Shining~Again

If I understand this right, NA & AA are 2 separate programs and separate "chips". Pretty sure you get one on the first meeting you go to.
Beyond that, it's by month?
My opinion? If it's 24 hour chip you want for the booze part, ya - get it.
I also have understood that the Program isn't the meetings or chips....
IF it helps you though - get the chip! Anything that helps you, gives you a sense of commitment and support is never a bad thing.

BrianD

Thanks for your opinions. I thought about it for a bit today and realized that it really isnt that important to me to have a chip/key ring. The not feeling like **** (or less so , so far) is a good enough incentive to keep me motivated.

BTW To clarify, I'm going to NA, and I was actually referring to a 24hour Clean key ring. I had used the term "token" because I have seen that term on this site much more often, and I guess I assumed it was the same thing basically as a key ring.

likehappiness

Brian,

I attend NA and AA meeting regularly cause I used to like to drink and loved drugs. For lots of people the chips and the key rings are important. And what Threshold said... they are different groups but with the same principles. I have both chips and key rings and they are equally important. They are your wonderful SUCCESS! And that is important to you. They are goals and accoomplishments. To some Birthdays are very important and for others they don't care about how long...just how sober they are.

Technically I have an AA birthday and an NA birthday and they are two different days. But my NA birthday is the one I use for everything because it is the last time I did ANY Mind Altering substance.

Also...Benzo withdrawl is a different animal and you need to be very careful with that!
Enjoy ALL those birthdays! You would be amazed at how quickly a year can go when you are changing your life and moving forward! Stay safe and be true to yourself! Make you happy.

bostonluv

My opinion for it's worth: the benzo taper is through your doctor so you are not recreationally taking something. If that fits or lines up with your conscience then take that chip. I recently had a question similar to this and came to my own conclusion with the help of others but it was still my decision. Search deep in your heart. Getting clean is a confusing time where you're getting to know your own moral inventory and values again. You won't do it prefectly. Ask your higher power for guidance.

likehappiness

I agree Boston. If you are under doctor's care and managing an illness that is different. You will know in your heart when you are "abusing" drugs. That's part of recovery...being honest with yourself. Either way...make sure you recognize your accomplishments.

Stopdropburn

I don't know the rules and guidelines of AA/NA meetings, as I have never attended either of them, however after all the reading I've done I'm seriously considering looking into a local NA myself. It seems to me that for the work you're doing and the progress you're making, you deserve a reward. You may technically still be using benzo's, but you ARE tapering down, you're using less and less by your own will, and it's being professionally monitored correct? You're doing what's right for you, and if you keep going before you know it you'll be done with those too. I think you deserve the recognition, if not through your group, at least through yourself. Good luck!

BrianD

Well I have to be honest with yall. As I have been so far

I am honestly tapering down and have researched the tapering schedule I am using. However I have not informed my psychiatrist of this decision. This is for two reasons. The first reason is that I have a intense fear that as soon as I mention addiction/dependence, she will withdrawal the medication in entirety (thereby dooming me to a cold turkey withdrawal = hell).

And the second reason I get gets really deep. I have to be honest to myself and I guess I have reservations. While I am proud of my progress, it comforts me in a sick way to know that I could go back at any time.

This post was kinda hard for me to write because I feel like it'll be a let down to some of yall.

It's kinda funny now. I'm a lot less worried about tokens/keyrings now. And I having to face the harder reality of my reservations of having a doctor monitor my taper

likehappiness

Brian, you are not letting any of us down. You need to take care of you. Glad that you are tapering cause Benzo withdrawal can be very dangerous.

You will be amazed after you are off everything how you thought your head was clear but it really wasn't. It takes about 2 months for your head to be really clear and something will click and you will figure out just how much of a fog the drugs keep you in. Only..you thought you were normal.... It is very interesting. Keep doing what's right for you!