Bgirl291

I am in a major rut right now I left a methadone program and lost my job and have gone back to using heavily. I am so ashamed of myself and dread the day w/out my drugs but I know I can't keep going like this. I just dont know how to get out of this I am really depressed...

Tres

I am not sure what to say, but get help somewhere.

You deserve to live a life free from drugs and shame. Keep posting and reaching out. Don't give up on yourself.

Sending good vibes and hugs your way.

KuanYin

Bgirl, it's hard, life is hard but it is not impossible. We all experience loss (as in jobs, and as in we feel like we've failed....boy, have I felt that one!), but we keep going. That just means we are human. You get out of it a baby step at a time. Sometimes a step is too much, and you have to take a breath at a time, and that's ok. Keep moving forward. Sometimes you fall down, fall back, but when you do, pick yourself up , brush yourself off, and take that step forward.

Did the methadone work for you, or was there a reason (financially, distance, or other) that you decided to leave the program? Have you considered subutext/suboxone as an alternative to methadone? Depression and opiate use go hand in hand. Possibly if you also get a handle on the depression, that will help you to have the strength, energy, and clarity of judgment to make good choices/decisions , and have a clear head to be able to think on how to get yourself out of the cycle. It can be done. You are here, on this outstanding forum, and that shows you know how to use available resources, and that you have a desire to stop the insanity of the cycle you are in. This right here proves that you have a whole lot more power than you realize.

Is there a local NA meeting you can attend? Having someome close who can guide you through this can make a world of difference.

My prayers are with you tonight, Bgirl291. ****{hugs}}}

Neidyi227

Hi Bgirl291, boy can I relate to your situation. I've been there, done that and don't want to do it again. My name is neidy and I know exactly how you feel. Don't let the self-pity routine get to you. That's the devil trying to pull you in more. It's ok if you relapse. If it was me, I would get back on the Methadone on a low dose and get back on my feet. I will pray for you and for those who are relapsing at this minute. You can do it one day @ a time.

macknacat

yep- what neidy said... and get your butt to an NA meeting....

Bgirl291

I went back to my methadone program and got back on again today and I am feeling a lot better

likehappiness

Bgirl. I think that is a wonderful and wise choice! Us addicts like to kick ourselves more when we are down and just for good measure throw a few punches in too!

I hope the methadone will help you and get you weaned off drugs forever! Good Luck to you cause life is much better on the other side especially when you have been through withdrawal and all the other chaos we whip up!