Pandie

Hi all,

Today makes 3 weeks clean and sober for me . I know I can get my meds filled again this week and I am sticking to my plan of having them called into the pharmacy and leaving them at the pharmacy and only filling them when I really, really need them for pain.

The addict in me is wanting to binge like there's no tomorrow. I know I'm strong enough to stick with my plan. With God, and SR, I know I can do this. I like having this group here to be accountable too, really helps .

Thanks for reading and I welcome any advice and/or feedback! Hope everyone is having a great week!

~Pandie

keltie

Pandie, congrats on your 3 weeks! Great job.

I totally relate about the "excitement" of knowing you can get your refill. The best option for me has been to turn my pills over to a trusted person who dispenses them as needed. It sounds like you have a good plan, too.

Keep posting and have a great week!

RubyRose

Hi Pandie! Congrats on 3 weeks - can you do a month? Yes, you can. Whenever you're in doubt that pushing feeling is me, pushing you onward and through this to the other side!

I had to have NO pills available to me at all, ever, or I would have taken them. Please be stronger than me ok?

...Ruby...

Pandie

Thanks yall! Your kind words mean so much to me

neferkamichael

Pandie, 3 weeks you are Fantastic. The josin will go aaway before ya know it.

finaltime

If I was you I would not refill!! I know all too well about looking forward to my refill dates like it was Christmas! I would be in such a good mood, head to the pharmacy with a nice smile, hide the guilt I would feel that I recognized the pharmacists like they were family, pop 3-4 pills in the car to celebrate. Then try and ration the rest, all to take them wayyyyy before my next refill date!! The cycle never quit. I am sure I could get a refill at this point too, and my back hurts like heck, but I am done. Day 7 today and feeling okay. It's 6am in china and I'm about to go for a run! Usually I'd be still asleep and feel like heck when I woke up until I popped a pill. I am so happy you posted on here and expressed your feelings. I wasn't strong enough yet to call my pharmacy and tell them no more pills because I'm an addict, that needs to be my next step. Hard tho when my back is so bad. Stay strong!!

Shining~Again

Pandie, yer in my prayers. I hope you can be ok in knowing the refills are there, but LEAVE them there. Seriously - bringing them home will do nothing good for you. Absolutely nothing.
xox
Congrats on 3 weeks. That's mega accomplishment. Hold fast and tight.

Pandie

Thanks so much everyone.

I'm doing ok. It's odd, usually on the days before I know I can get my refill, I'm so excited, but today I've been so depressed. I don't know if it's because I realize I'm having to let go of that old part of me or what, but wow, I'm sad and feeling hopeless .

Also stressing a lot about school. I am a senior Psychology student at a local university and my second minor of Biology is killing me. I'm in a class and just sinking . I feel stupid although I get "A"'s in most all of my other classes, but this Bio minor class is for Pre-Med and I'm in over my head. What's scary is this damn class is making me want to use eventhough I'm pretty sure the pills are NOT going to give me understanding of Genetics, lol!

~Pandie

RubyRose

Those pills probably are giving you an advantage to learning genetics. You are very likely to be predisposed to addiction through your genetics!!

What they won't do is help your brain to learn biology. That comes with using live brain cells!!

...Ruby...

Lily

my last refill, I actually called the pharmacy and asked them to cancel it. She told me she would send the script back to my doctor. If you can go to 3 weeks w/out pain meds and you know that when you use them they only last you a week or so till they are gone....(mind would only last 5-6 days) then you can go on w/out. I'll bet advil works better anyway!

Pandie

Hi Lily,

Thanks for the encouragement. Unfortunately, I cannot take Advil b/c I'm on Coumadin (an anticoagulant) ... still struggling with how to handle this because I don't think it's a black-or-white issue for me. I am somewhere in the gray and that is why it's so hard for me.