FaceTheFear

Like the title says, I have a suspicion that my best friend is shooting up oxycodone. I know she has done it once before a few weeks ago, this she did admit to me. The other day I saw her and noticed red marks in the small of her arm. According to her, these are from a couple weeks ago, when she admitted she did bang up.

However, the day I saw her, she was nodding out while standing, slurring the hell out of all the words she was saying, and extremely emotional unstable. However, she didnt have extremely constricted pupils, which is usually a telltale sign of large doses of opiates. According to her, she was just tired because she didnt get any sleep the night before, because her and her bf were fighting all night.

I tried sitting her down and trying to get her to admit it, of course she denied it..but she just started crying her eyes out when I was talking to her about it, even though she denied it adamantly. I wasnt aggressive at all when confronting her though, when she denied it and denied it, I pretty much just made it clear that I would be there for her no matter what, I would be her friend until the very end, and I would not judge her no matter what the situation was. I asked her how she would feel if I committed suicide one day, and just left her to fend for herself. Then I told her to imagine how she would feel, and explained thats how I would feel if anything were to happen to her. I was surprised that she didnt lash out at me or anything, she just sat there, cried, and nodded her head when I asked certain things.

I really dont know if Im going about this the right way, and I would really appreciate any input or help anyone here could give me. I love this girl to death, she has always been there by my side, no matter how difficult I have been or how much Ive tried to push her away. I owe her so much more than I can put into words. I just want to know how I should approach the situation at this point, and really hope I havent done any damage already by confronting her in the first place.

Ive also never dealt with addiction before, so this is a completely new beast for me to deal with, and I really have no idea how to approach or what to expect!

Thank you for anyone that can help..Ive been losing a lot of sleep over this and its just eating me on the inside more and more..

keltie

You sound like a wonderful friend. I think you've already done all you can do. When I was in active addiction I lied to my best friend too. She flat out asked me if I was taking my pills and I said no. Fact is, until she is ready to confess and stop, there is nothing you can do short of what you've done.

For me, knowing I was lying to her (and others I love) eventually ate away at me until I was ready to come clean. Just keep gently expressing that you are there for her NO MATTER WHAT. That's all you can do. She will hopefully come to the decision that you're a soft spot to land when she's ready.

RubyRose

I agree with Keltie. I think you've done what you can.

Being there for her and enabling her are two different things.

Be there, but don't involve yourself in any part of her drug world. She has to make the changes she needs to make of her own volition. You can't do it for her.

I hope she knows what a good friend she has in you!

...Ruby...

NoWhereGirl

Agree with the others about what you can and can't do now and only want to further agree with Ruby.

I wish more of us dealing with these issues, anyone who ever has or ever will, could have such a wonderful supportive friend as you. I actually wonder if I'd have gotten addicted to the damn things if I had people like that around me who cared as much and didn't bail on me at the first sign that guess what, I'm-Not-Perfect. What a rare and beautiful thing; I hope they know how fortunate they are and even if not at the moment, then someday because not everyone is lucky enough to have real friends, or even know what one is. I hope things work out for both of you, good luck!

WHOamInow

my friends have found out about me.. 1st it was snorting pills-- but then it was shooting them up.. the sad thing is-- they all talk about "being friends-and helping me", but then in the LONGrun- its me, my girlfriend, and pills.. they never return my calls or nothing- so I wish i had ppl snapping at me.. guess its gonna b NA meetings for me- and slowly weaning myself off..

KuanYin

If your friend was nodding out while standing up, and slurring her words, that's a sure sign. My 26 year old son has been an addict for almost 16 years, and shooting oxys for 6 of those years. My constant love, kindness, reassurance, and help only enabled him to keep using. So yes, all his non-addict friends left him behind. They went on with their lives, went to college, got professional jobs, while he sat on the sofa, nodding out, or laid unconscious on his mattress in his room. His only "friends" were users like him, and he was so shocked when he'd pass out somewhere and they'd steal his stash. He even has a brother who is not an addict, who was his best friend and always there for him, non-judgmental, sounds just like you are for your friend. And then he started stealing from him. Brother put a deadbolt on his bedroom door, but AS actually completely busted his bedroom window, crawled in and stole his brother's money, and whatever else he thought he could pawn and tried to tell us someone had "broken in", standing right there with tiny particles of glass still sticking to him. It was pathetic.

Needless to say, his brother moved out and hasn't let him know where he lives. Opiate addiction has a way of changing things. For me, I had to learn to "let go and let God."