finaltime

Living far far away in China can leave people very lonely, especially the addicts like myself. THANK you so much for the people that post on HERE, it is pretty much all I do, well besides work, play with my daughter, and think. When you don't have a single TV channel that speaks English, you don't have any family around other than the ones you see daily, and the nearest NA meeting is an hour away on a crowded subway filled with people trying to dry hump you, SR saves the day!!!
IvanKatz, thank you for posting on our rants so often. Now that FT has left, it is nice to see your name pop up. I really want to make an effort to become part of the regulars that get the continuous page pop ups, but I rarely have time to post. Today marks day 4 again of my journey off of opiates. I would be 3 months clean, but back went out AGAIN and I thought, "I can handle it." Nope, I can't. Now, if my back goes out again, I refuse any opiates. Until I have this extra weight off from the baby, my core is in shape, I am eating right, I will still refuse meds...I just read a great post on another forum about someone with a year off of opiates who just had his whole bottom teeth pulled and he refused any meds!!! Now that is what I am talking about! I know meds are necessary, but for people like me that get them, think they are my best friend, hold them close to my heart, count them like I might have lost one, think about them all day long, wake up thinking about them, take them all then am so saddened by them being gone you would think they were human???? I can't deal with opiates.... For so long I would see friends or family who would get a script and take them as they should, then just leave the bottle in the cabinet for what? OH, for me to come along and steal them? How could they just leave them there and not think about them? Why was it that I could never do that? I have the disease that is why. Just like my mom, my grandma and every other ma in my family. So, enough babbling, thank you SR for making my morning. Since I have been awake since 6am o this fine cold Sunday morning in China, I figured I would use it to start my day off right. I feel great! Now for a long walk to get some 2 cent breakfast wraps for the family... Have to love the cheap street food in China!

TheReader

Icandoit12 - Sorry to hear how challenging it is to be in China under your circumstances. I applaud you for what you have accomplished and your desire to "do it" and enter recovery. If this GA girl was in your shoes in a strange country, I have no idea how I would be at this point.

I have been around about the same time as FT, but have not posted near as much as she did and she is sorely missed by the SR community. I do read a lot though and am here to support you. Keep posting and sharing your story. I found your mention about how others can take a script as directed so familiar to me as well. It was like the pills were calling my name once I had an opiate RX filled. And, I also stole from friends and family. I could never just put them in a drawer or cabinet and forget they were there.

Take care of yourself and your daughter. We are here for you

macknacat

hi ican- i kicked opiates a few years before i got into recovery... yeah i did the ol 'switch to another DOC ' withdrawal- booze and pot.. Now i do NA..

and i went thru monumental back pain - its what got me into opiates . Well , that and a GF who had an opium connection! anyway, after i was doing NA for a couple years [still working as a framing carpenter] my back took a dive. This time i went to physical therapist and actually did what she suggested for self care... Wow! Instead of crawling around my house and eating off the floor for a couple weeks[true experience] , i did the crunches and stretches . got rid of the belly. took a walk instead of lying in bed.

Its been 13 years since then . Still no severe back pain. Still work as a framing carpenter . Good luck to you .

china! what an adventure!!

keltie

Always glad to see you post, ICDI! Keep coming back- we love hearing from you and your China adventures! How cool is that when you can get a breakfast wrap for 2 cents? Tell us more- it's so interesting!

finaltime

Thank you for the posts back.. I am really looking forward to getting a sponsor (someday when I move back home) and working the steps. I really do know that if I plan on staying sober I have to do more then look at sober recovery! I did go to NA here in China when I first attempted sobriety, and I found it very useful. However it is all men and none of them feel comfortable being my sponsor. I must be really hot or something! HA HA ok lol. I quit going of course as soon as I felt like I had sobriety down..all to make a fast decision to get pregnant???? Don't they say during your first year of sobriety to not make any major decisions? Well, I sure did. I don't regret my daughter at all of course, in fact she helps me through these times because she deserves more then a mom that blows mad cash every week on pills. As for another MAJOR decision during the first year? Moving to China! This was the first go around though, I really thought moving to another country would help me shape up? And boy did it, made me search for the local pharmacy that delivered pills right to my door step, and for the a quarter of the price I was paying my local dealer back in the states! So, a baby later, back in China again for another go around (Teaching here is 100 times better, they treat like all teachers should be treated, not too mention pay for your living expenses and other benefits), but SOBER. Well, for four days that is..but that is better than nothing. I seriously thank GOD My husband found out about the pills this go around only after a month, so it didn't continue and I am not hurting like before. Amazing how the wd's can be so fierce, yet we come back for more. Same goes with booze I would say, nothing worse than a gnarley hang over that ruins your entire days, but everyone seems to do it again! Not me!
I feel good today, you guys probably think I post all through the night. Remember we are 15 hours ahead here. So now its Sunday at noon!

smileyblue

I am teaching in Taiwan, so can somewhat relate to your posting. And loving the cheap and delicious street food

It is a little difficult to get to meetings here too, and all the other foreigners here are in constant party/ heavy drinking mode, as if they have not outgrown their student days. Also alcohol is so easy to come by, with 7-11 on almost every corner, selling booze 24/7!

Hope you had a happy, sober weekend

lostgirl25

ICDI - You are amazing. Talk about overcoming obstacles, you are surrounded by lots of excuses as to why recovery is hard and yet you give us all the best motivation as to why recovery is the only way to go.

The most difficult thing I did when new to recovery was telling everyone in my care system that I am an addict and can't take opiates, benzo, or anything addictive. The most liberating thing I ever did. Of course, maybe it is easy for me to say since I haven't had surgery, back issues, or oral surgery. My primary care doc has my back and has notified all pharmacies, ER's, and Urgent Cares.

I wish you had an NA group to support you. Working the steps keeps me focused and motivated. 4 months now for me and I have to stay alert to the little words that creep in my head telling me I no longer have a problem. I still keep my toolkit handy to keep my head on straight. Keep posting and I'll keep the prayers coming your way.

finaltime

Smiley blue, good to hear from you! Another overseas teacher even! Funny you mention how everyone around you is still all about the partying...The crew I teach with this year is majority single, and they party like they are 21. Just this weekend I had a text from a co-teacher, telling me she is calling the 'guy' which means coke guy. Asked if I wanted to party. I politely said no, said drugs were not making my problems any easier and I would pass. Then last night my phone goes off at 10pm, asking me to bring 2 pills to help another co-worker with the hangover he was going to have this bright Monday morning! I text back and said I would have no pills, and won't EVER again. This is also coming from the same guy you visited Cambodia a few weeks back, brought back 300 pills and TOOK THEM all, even had to call off work because he was a mess. So, you see the people I am around? They are good people, but hell of crazy and even though I can be the life of the party, I can't handle it. I only have two speeds, on or off. ha ha. I want away from this school, but I am stuck here until July. I had an interview with a Christian international school about 50 minutes away, pray I hear back from them this week.
Today I am very thankful that I am up 2 hours before work, feeling great, not hungover, didn't grab a pill to start my morning.
I am thankful for SR and the support the give us far away and near people.
I am thankful for my SO and daughter who make me smile and think about why sobriety is very very important.
I am thankful for the sun! We haven't seen it in weeks and here it is today
I know I should be writing these thankful posts in another forum, but next time. Day 5 today. Sneezes are still saying hello, headache has lifted, appetite it back in full force, and feeling okay. Anxiety still around but not bad. I can do this! I am trying to get over the fact that today (Feb 20) marks the 2 year mark I first tried to quite opiates. Wow, I could be 2 years clean today! But in 2 years from now I WILL BE.

IvanKatz

Maybe a little off subject but it's my understanding that if you're caught with narcotics in China... Well, prison in China makes our U.S. prisons look like a weekend at the Four Seasons Presidential suite.
Just asking...

finaltime

I am pretty sure if I get caught with anything here they will shoot me! That's not even a joke. Even more of a reason to keep clean!

IvanKatz

Yeah, i was going to mention the fact that the Chinese execute their drug users and peddlers with a bullet (no trial) but didn't want to go overboard... But since you mentioned it... All the more reason to quit. BTW, you do know that the Chinese military monitors ALL web traffic coming in and out of the country right?

finaltime

I think that is a little far. But my VPN places me smack dab in San Fran! Lol

IvanKatz

Not really....

Facing their last moments with a smile: The Chinese women about to be executed for drug smuggling

Read more: Chinese execution pictures: Women about to be executed for drug smuggling | Mail Online
Chinese execution pictures: Women about to be executed for drug smuggling | Mail Online

China’s Execution of South African Female Drug Dealer Prompts Fury
China’s Execution of South African Female Drug Dealer Prompts Fury


China to execute Filipino drug trafficker Dec. 8
China to execute Filipino drug trafficker Dec. 8 - *****! News

From January 2005 to May 2006, China has convicted more than 53,000 people for various drug offenses, with more than 22,000 handed down harsh penalties including life imprisonment or the death penalty, even for non-violent drug offenses such as drug smuggling, trafficking, and production. And if there’s a country that beats Saudi Arabia—and the rest of the world for that matter—in sheer number of executions, it’s China. An estimated 470 people were executed in China in 2007, many of them drug offenders.

finaltime

Thank god I am not a drug smuggler or dealer! I know all about this stuff. My last job here was right down the street from them local expat prison. Nothing to play around with, that's for sure! Day 6 today!!