36 hours into a gnarly detox... Holy moly kids...
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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36 hours into a gnarly detox... Holy moly kids...
I broke my back skateboarding 5 years ago. I have had two major surgeries, the second one 4 months ago that was a very complicated procedure, and left me in the hospital for 12 days after.
I used to be a very active skateboarder, been doing it for 22 years until this accident. At first I didn't take the opiates they threw at me, I had never messed around with them - at all. I have had drug problems throughout my life though, so there's always been an underlying probllem. I kicked a huge cocaine habit in the late 90's, and a smaller one about 8 years ago.
So it started out slow, as it does with these demon pills, and 5 years and two failed surgeries later I am stuck with terrible chronic back pain and a healthy opiate habit, that is legal, but nonetheless a monkey on my back. I also drink heavily. I know it's not an excuse, but so much has been taken away from me in the last 5 years, I am devastated not to be able to skate, snowboard, or do any of the things I used to love.
36 hours ago I decided to go cold turkey. I have detox'd only once before, about a month ago, and it only lasted 4 days. I am having a super hard time with this for a number of reasons: I have medication, and I can get more when it runs out. My choice came out of thr realization that the oxy has robbed me of my old self, and I want that back.
I'm not sure I can handle my back pain without them. I have tried everything, besides the 2 surgeries I've probably had 10 other procedures done, and nothing has given me my life back.
I need some advice from any of you that have successfully done this. My withdrawals are so bad right now I'm stuck on the couch. I am currently living alone in a remote location, so it is extremely hard to deal with this.
Anyone?
I used to be a very active skateboarder, been doing it for 22 years until this accident. At first I didn't take the opiates they threw at me, I had never messed around with them - at all. I have had drug problems throughout my life though, so there's always been an underlying probllem. I kicked a huge cocaine habit in the late 90's, and a smaller one about 8 years ago.
So it started out slow, as it does with these demon pills, and 5 years and two failed surgeries later I am stuck with terrible chronic back pain and a healthy opiate habit, that is legal, but nonetheless a monkey on my back. I also drink heavily. I know it's not an excuse, but so much has been taken away from me in the last 5 years, I am devastated not to be able to skate, snowboard, or do any of the things I used to love.
36 hours ago I decided to go cold turkey. I have detox'd only once before, about a month ago, and it only lasted 4 days. I am having a super hard time with this for a number of reasons: I have medication, and I can get more when it runs out. My choice came out of thr realization that the oxy has robbed me of my old self, and I want that back.
I'm not sure I can handle my back pain without them. I have tried everything, besides the 2 surgeries I've probably had 10 other procedures done, and nothing has given me my life back.
I need some advice from any of you that have successfully done this. My withdrawals are so bad right now I'm stuck on the couch. I am currently living alone in a remote location, so it is extremely hard to deal with this.
Anyone?
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no one out there that can offer up some advice? This is worse than anything I've ever felt in my life, I feel like a shadow of a person, and there's nothing I can do but try and push on through to days 4-5...
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
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My only suggestion would be to call your doctor ASAP, and explain that you are trying to detox. Be honest about your addiction.
Although opiates were my DOC early in my addictions, I went on to other drugs in my mid-20's that didn't have the severity of withdrawal symptoms which opiates have.
Sending you hugs of support.
Although opiates were my DOC early in my addictions, I went on to other drugs in my mid-20's that didn't have the severity of withdrawal symptoms which opiates have.
Sending you hugs of support.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Thanks Freedom. My doctor knows. He will just tell me to go to the hospital or check into rehab. I moved back East for this surgery, which has left me bankrupt. I have no resources to go to a facility.
I have had some terrible things happen in the past 5 years with the accident, but this is something I feel I need to do. My back pain is so severe that they've had to increase my meds to a point where they just don't work very well. If anything, they make me feel even. I just hate waking up dopesick, and reaching for ther pill bottle and a beer.
Time is moving SO slow right now...
I have had some terrible things happen in the past 5 years with the accident, but this is something I feel I need to do. My back pain is so severe that they've had to increase my meds to a point where they just don't work very well. If anything, they make me feel even. I just hate waking up dopesick, and reaching for ther pill bottle and a beer.
Time is moving SO slow right now...
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 379
Hey Sktbrd, I went cold turkey off of oxy in September and detoxed at home. At the height of my usage I had gotten up to ~25 pills a day (30mg oxy with no Tylenol) for close to three years. Prior to that I was taking a lower dosage that was prescribed to me over a couple of years.
While I was able to taper down a bit before I quit I was very miserable the first 9 - 10 days. It took a month for the fog to lift but things progressed pretty well from there.
The first few days are always the toughest, it does get better. By day 10 the worst of the shaking and pain wore off for me - but then I had been taking a high dosage for a long time - you may feel better sooner than that.
The things I did to get me through the acute phase:
1. HYDRATION - gatorade, vitamin water, milk, anything you can drink that appeals to you. Stay away from soda and caffeine (except maybe ginger ale which can sometimes help with the nausea). Popsicles, smoothies – anything that appeals to you.
2. Immodium for the tummy issues
3. Light exercise if you can - just a wee walk around the block to clear the head and get the endorphins to kick in.
4. Vitamins. When I could start keeping things down, I started to watch my nutritional intake a little more closely. I have heard that iron and potassium can help with restless leg syndrome – which drove me nuts the first month.
5. Ibuprofen for the aches and pains.
6. Expect some insomnia. I did not sleep a wink for the first three weeks and then l would doze for a few minutes here and there. Although I tried Chamomile tea and other home remedies I just had to wait until my body was ready to sleep. I was afraid after a while that I was going to go through some type of psychotic break but I made it just fine without sleep for a while. Now I sleep great!
Like you, I was very concerned about pain when I quit. I had broken my ankle in three places in May and now have three plates and thirteen screws and while it is still uncomfortable I am now able to manage the worst of the pain with just ibuprofen.
I hope you have been able to read some of the detox stories on this board, There are hundreds of people here who have gone cold turkey off opiates. Several people on this board have also had major surgery and/or other health issues and are able to manage their pain without opiates.
The important thing to remember while you are going through the pain and misery of the first week is that it DOES GET BETTER. Five months after my detox I find I have more energy than I have had in years and I also have my life back. It is a great feeling.
Please keep posting – there are a lot of great people on this board who will be glad to share their experience – sometimes posting was the only thing that kept me sane the first couple of weeks.
Hang in there – you are doing great!!
While I was able to taper down a bit before I quit I was very miserable the first 9 - 10 days. It took a month for the fog to lift but things progressed pretty well from there.
The first few days are always the toughest, it does get better. By day 10 the worst of the shaking and pain wore off for me - but then I had been taking a high dosage for a long time - you may feel better sooner than that.
The things I did to get me through the acute phase:
1. HYDRATION - gatorade, vitamin water, milk, anything you can drink that appeals to you. Stay away from soda and caffeine (except maybe ginger ale which can sometimes help with the nausea). Popsicles, smoothies – anything that appeals to you.
2. Immodium for the tummy issues
3. Light exercise if you can - just a wee walk around the block to clear the head and get the endorphins to kick in.
4. Vitamins. When I could start keeping things down, I started to watch my nutritional intake a little more closely. I have heard that iron and potassium can help with restless leg syndrome – which drove me nuts the first month.
5. Ibuprofen for the aches and pains.
6. Expect some insomnia. I did not sleep a wink for the first three weeks and then l would doze for a few minutes here and there. Although I tried Chamomile tea and other home remedies I just had to wait until my body was ready to sleep. I was afraid after a while that I was going to go through some type of psychotic break but I made it just fine without sleep for a while. Now I sleep great!
Like you, I was very concerned about pain when I quit. I had broken my ankle in three places in May and now have three plates and thirteen screws and while it is still uncomfortable I am now able to manage the worst of the pain with just ibuprofen.
I hope you have been able to read some of the detox stories on this board, There are hundreds of people here who have gone cold turkey off opiates. Several people on this board have also had major surgery and/or other health issues and are able to manage their pain without opiates.
The important thing to remember while you are going through the pain and misery of the first week is that it DOES GET BETTER. Five months after my detox I find I have more energy than I have had in years and I also have my life back. It is a great feeling.
Please keep posting – there are a lot of great people on this board who will be glad to share their experience – sometimes posting was the only thing that kept me sane the first couple of weeks.
Hang in there – you are doing great!!
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
I would suggest perhaps look into seeing a different doctor as well if this one does not want to help.
There are those doctors out there, that are complete &$^#holes who shirk their medical responsibilities. After all, he/she helped you get into this spot. All you're asking for is a little help which is the first step to recovery.
There are those doctors out there, that are complete &$^#holes who shirk their medical responsibilities. After all, he/she helped you get into this spot. All you're asking for is a little help which is the first step to recovery.
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Spica-
Thanks so much for the post - it helps to know that others have been through it. I wasn't quite at 25 30's a day, but I definitely have a big chip to get over. The problem is the amount of time I think - like I said, at first I didn't even take the damn thing, but since 2009 I've been steady at a high dose, and until last month I never ran out. I had some moments where I came up short, but someone would always help me out. Always. Then in late January I just ran out early and had nowhere to go. I went to my doctor and he gave me the cold shoulder, after prescribing me for years. I was pissed, but he just wouldn't budge. I got through 4 days with the Thomas recipe, but once I was able to move around I couldn't deal with my back pain, and back on the train I was...
It boggles my mind that with all the partying I did in college and after (I was a loose cannon for a long time), I had never tried opiates. Then I take a huge spill on my board and five years later here I am. As you know, the pills become all consuming, and sooner or later I think everyone realizes they have a problem.
I juist don't know if I can ride this out - I'm alone and living in the country with no neighbors, grocery stores, friends, etc... I'm staying at a friend's lake house that is usually empty in the winters. It's been an insane day and a half, and I'm praying I can push through. Thnaks again for the kind words.
Ivan Katz- Thank you too. I've been reading a lot of threads on this board since yesterday and I see your name a lot, and your advice is solid. It seems like you've helped a lot of people, and that's something you can be proud of. I hope I can make it to that place when I'm ready...
Thanks so much for the post - it helps to know that others have been through it. I wasn't quite at 25 30's a day, but I definitely have a big chip to get over. The problem is the amount of time I think - like I said, at first I didn't even take the damn thing, but since 2009 I've been steady at a high dose, and until last month I never ran out. I had some moments where I came up short, but someone would always help me out. Always. Then in late January I just ran out early and had nowhere to go. I went to my doctor and he gave me the cold shoulder, after prescribing me for years. I was pissed, but he just wouldn't budge. I got through 4 days with the Thomas recipe, but once I was able to move around I couldn't deal with my back pain, and back on the train I was...
It boggles my mind that with all the partying I did in college and after (I was a loose cannon for a long time), I had never tried opiates. Then I take a huge spill on my board and five years later here I am. As you know, the pills become all consuming, and sooner or later I think everyone realizes they have a problem.
I juist don't know if I can ride this out - I'm alone and living in the country with no neighbors, grocery stores, friends, etc... I'm staying at a friend's lake house that is usually empty in the winters. It's been an insane day and a half, and I'm praying I can push through. Thnaks again for the kind words.
Ivan Katz- Thank you too. I've been reading a lot of threads on this board since yesterday and I see your name a lot, and your advice is solid. It seems like you've helped a lot of people, and that's something you can be proud of. I hope I can make it to that place when I'm ready...
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Has anyone out there done a medically supervised detox? I don't mean the rapid ones you see all the ads for, but like a 3-5 day stay at a facility where they sedate you, moderately, and monitor you vitals. I don't think I can ride this out, although I will have to borrow money to go to such a place, going through this alone in the middle of nowhere is driving me nuts, and I'm still a little shy of 48 hours...
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 147
Hi Sktbrd,
Welcome to SR! You will find so many people that have been in your exact position here, that have made it to the other side and lived to tell about it. I am over 30 days clean - I don't post a lot. As I get super busy, but I visit the boards everyday and for some reason your story just called to me and I had to respond.
If you REALLY want to quit, first thing is you need to get rid of all your medication in your house. You are hurting right now. Believe me, you will get to a point where you won't be able to take it anymore and cave. At some point, in the beginning of my w/d's, if I had a pill, I would of taken it. Not caring at that point in time that it would set me back to the beginning. I don't want to scare you off of doing this or anything. But in my experience, the worst is still to come. For me, my symptoms peaked days 5-7, and then I had problems every couple of days after that. Being over a month clean feels amazing. I am such a different person than I was a mere 4 weeks ago. It feels like a lifetime, but really, it hasn't been that long. I guess I should also mention that I was taking 300mg of oxy a day - sometimes more. So it is possible, it is just rough. I know that you mentioned you don't feel like you can tell your doctor what is going on. Is there another medical professional that you can talk to? Family or friends? I found the support from them to be invaluable, I don't think I would of made it through without them. Once you let go of this secret and let other people know what is going on, it lifts such a huge burden from you.
You can make it through this -- but I would reach out as much as possible. Especially on SR. There is a wealth of wisdom from people that have been in the exact same position that you have. Please hang in there, post often and let us know how you are doing. I know it sound contrite, but it does get better - just not overnight.
Keep going buddy, you can do this!!!
Welcome to SR! You will find so many people that have been in your exact position here, that have made it to the other side and lived to tell about it. I am over 30 days clean - I don't post a lot. As I get super busy, but I visit the boards everyday and for some reason your story just called to me and I had to respond.
If you REALLY want to quit, first thing is you need to get rid of all your medication in your house. You are hurting right now. Believe me, you will get to a point where you won't be able to take it anymore and cave. At some point, in the beginning of my w/d's, if I had a pill, I would of taken it. Not caring at that point in time that it would set me back to the beginning. I don't want to scare you off of doing this or anything. But in my experience, the worst is still to come. For me, my symptoms peaked days 5-7, and then I had problems every couple of days after that. Being over a month clean feels amazing. I am such a different person than I was a mere 4 weeks ago. It feels like a lifetime, but really, it hasn't been that long. I guess I should also mention that I was taking 300mg of oxy a day - sometimes more. So it is possible, it is just rough. I know that you mentioned you don't feel like you can tell your doctor what is going on. Is there another medical professional that you can talk to? Family or friends? I found the support from them to be invaluable, I don't think I would of made it through without them. Once you let go of this secret and let other people know what is going on, it lifts such a huge burden from you.
You can make it through this -- but I would reach out as much as possible. Especially on SR. There is a wealth of wisdom from people that have been in the exact same position that you have. Please hang in there, post often and let us know how you are doing. I know it sound contrite, but it does get better - just not overnight.
Keep going buddy, you can do this!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Heyitsme-
You rock - thanks for taking the time to post in my thread, means a lot. I know (and some might get angry at me saying this) that I will probably slip with the meds in the house.
The reason I haven't flushed everything is I can't get a bed in the acute detox facility in my area, and my habit, isn't a small one. In addition to the heavy opiates, I've got a benzo problem, and with this much isolation, too much drinking.
However I am fighting it out right now. I think I need to get back to civilization and do this professionally, and I think after reading these threads for the past 40 hours straight, some would def agree.
It's storming over the lake here, and I am on 2 1/2 days of not a wink of sleep. I think this would be much easier with some company, but I am, as mentioned, living in a friend's house (which is quite nice and on the lake), but with no access to other people. I have no way to drive right now, way too sick...
Dee74- Thanks for you're kind words. It's sktbrd like skateboard, but an abbreviation, not skatebird
In the height on my skating career, I would be offended at being called a sktbird, but right now I'm just stoked you repsonded to my thread. Thx bother, much love...
Peace everyone, I hope to pull through the night without relapse...
You rock - thanks for taking the time to post in my thread, means a lot. I know (and some might get angry at me saying this) that I will probably slip with the meds in the house.
The reason I haven't flushed everything is I can't get a bed in the acute detox facility in my area, and my habit, isn't a small one. In addition to the heavy opiates, I've got a benzo problem, and with this much isolation, too much drinking.
However I am fighting it out right now. I think I need to get back to civilization and do this professionally, and I think after reading these threads for the past 40 hours straight, some would def agree.
It's storming over the lake here, and I am on 2 1/2 days of not a wink of sleep. I think this would be much easier with some company, but I am, as mentioned, living in a friend's house (which is quite nice and on the lake), but with no access to other people. I have no way to drive right now, way too sick...
Dee74- Thanks for you're kind words. It's sktbrd like skateboard, but an abbreviation, not skatebird
In the height on my skating career, I would be offended at being called a sktbird, but right now I'm just stoked you repsonded to my thread. Thx bother, much love...
Peace everyone, I hope to pull through the night without relapse...
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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dee74-
As I said before, no worries my friend. I'm just a grumpy detox-ing former sponsored skateboarder who has has his passion taken away...
Trying to find a new passion in life so I can stop focusing on pain and pain meds!
Thanks again for the kind words...
As I said before, no worries my friend. I'm just a grumpy detox-ing former sponsored skateboarder who has has his passion taken away...
Trying to find a new passion in life so I can stop focusing on pain and pain meds!
Thanks again for the kind words...
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 379
Hey Sktbrd, if you have been hitting the benzos as well as opiates, a supervised detox may be a smarter choice. Detoxing off of opiates will make you feel like you are dying but is usually not a life threatening event, detoxing off of benzos has the potential of being a bit more dangerous.
I don't know dosages you were doing in the benzo department but I do know folks who went cold turkey from extended benzo use and had seizures and blood pressure issues, this may be even more of an issue if you have also been adding alchohol to the mix. You may not want to go cold turkey off the benzos and alchohol until you talk to a medical professional - better safe than sorry.
All the best to you as you go through this process.
I don't know dosages you were doing in the benzo department but I do know folks who went cold turkey from extended benzo use and had seizures and blood pressure issues, this may be even more of an issue if you have also been adding alchohol to the mix. You may not want to go cold turkey off the benzos and alchohol until you talk to a medical professional - better safe than sorry.
All the best to you as you go through this process.
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 304
I was going to just leave my pseudo name in the thanks for useful post, until I read of the benzo alcohol mix. Sktbrd, sounds like your at a nice location. Too bad your going through withdrawals. Not so sure of an offical release about Whitney Houston's death, but the speculation sure is benzo and alcohol. Take care.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Spica-
I came to the same conclusion. Yesterday the withdrawls got so bad I had to take some medicine. I was ashamed to do so, but I am stuck in this ohuse by myself, 30 minutes from the closest hospital, and I didn't know what else to do. I woke up last night at 1 am with an accelrated heart rate, dizziness, just a wreck. I called a supervised detox facility first thing this moring, I need professional help. The next step will be calling my estanged parents to beg for the money to go - my Mom is a recovering alcoholic but has no sympathy for me, which hurts me very deeply. I was there for here during the worst times, and she just refuses to show me any love the past few years. It's very sad. I'm in a dark place right now. The detox said they don't have any beds today, I have to call back in the morning, and they may not have any beds for a few days...
I came to the same conclusion. Yesterday the withdrawls got so bad I had to take some medicine. I was ashamed to do so, but I am stuck in this ohuse by myself, 30 minutes from the closest hospital, and I didn't know what else to do. I woke up last night at 1 am with an accelrated heart rate, dizziness, just a wreck. I called a supervised detox facility first thing this moring, I need professional help. The next step will be calling my estanged parents to beg for the money to go - my Mom is a recovering alcoholic but has no sympathy for me, which hurts me very deeply. I was there for here during the worst times, and she just refuses to show me any love the past few years. It's very sad. I'm in a dark place right now. The detox said they don't have any beds today, I have to call back in the morning, and they may not have any beds for a few days...
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: East Coast
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i broke my back and hip in a bike accident when i was 30 and also got hooked on pills. the ONLY thing that would take away the pain was getting a special heating pad. here it is...
Amazon.com: Battle Creek Equipment Thermophore Classicª Moist Heating Pad - Large/14" x 27" - Model 055 Red: Health & Personal Care
this was a TOTAL game changer for me. no pain meds could ever come close to what this does for me. This is not your conventional heating pad. it can get hot enough to give you SERIOUS burns, so be careful.... but no other heating pad on the market could come close to helping me the way this has. i have one in every room of my house. this place and that heating pad saved my life.
Amazon.com: Battle Creek Equipment Thermophore Classicª Moist Heating Pad - Large/14" x 27" - Model 055 Red: Health & Personal Care
this was a TOTAL game changer for me. no pain meds could ever come close to what this does for me. This is not your conventional heating pad. it can get hot enough to give you SERIOUS burns, so be careful.... but no other heating pad on the market could come close to helping me the way this has. i have one in every room of my house. this place and that heating pad saved my life.
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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l'll try a heating pad after I get out of detox, if I can get in... It's very frustrating that there are so few places that deal with this kind of stuff where I am. All the hospitals won't touch it, and the cost to go to detxo will leave me even further in debt than I am, if I can even borrow the money in the first place.
I keep thinking back to that day I took the fall on my skateboard, and how slowly the dowward spiral took, but how quickly it has come to a head. It's mind-boggling and so sad to think about, it makes my head spin. I know that there are people in much worse predicaments, and I should try to hold onto that while I'm going through this, but it's just so damn hard not to wonder "why me?"
I keep thinking back to that day I took the fall on my skateboard, and how slowly the dowward spiral took, but how quickly it has come to a head. It's mind-boggling and so sad to think about, it makes my head spin. I know that there are people in much worse predicaments, and I should try to hold onto that while I'm going through this, but it's just so damn hard not to wonder "why me?"
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
As an afterthought, I just wanted to share with you that alcohol was always in the picture too for me all the years I was using drugs.
The problem with drinking was my mind always said "Wrong drug, stupid," and I'd end up using even more drugs other than alcohol, which turned out to be crystal meth near the end of my using career. I also did a lot of drinking on top of benzos and narcotics early in the game. I'm lucky to be alive today!
Pulling for you and sending hugs of support!
The problem with drinking was my mind always said "Wrong drug, stupid," and I'd end up using even more drugs other than alcohol, which turned out to be crystal meth near the end of my using career. I also did a lot of drinking on top of benzos and narcotics early in the game. I'm lucky to be alive today!
Pulling for you and sending hugs of support!
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