TM1617

My boyfriend of 4 years has just come out, to his family and I, 5 weeks ago that he has been addicted to opiate pain killers for 3 years. He says he started with vicodins and has moved on, by his drug dealers' availability, to oxys and then from there, to opanas. He has covered his lie up so well that none of us knew, he made sure only his cousin(who is a user) and his friend ryan (who is also a user) knew. He also made sure to have one up on them to make sure they couldn't tell anyone about his problem. We all knew SOMETHING was wrong with him; however, we come from a certain type of situation where we don't know or deal with people that use drugs... AKA we are naive. So he was in a situation to easily fool and manipulate us. Ever since rehab he has been telling me his cravings are far from none and that, from the techniques he has learned in rehab, he can earily change his craving thoughts into different ones in a matter of minutes. This is his 6th week in outpatient treatment, and he is starting to take it very loosely... he only went to 1 of the 3 classes this week. The reason I am writing this post is because I'm worried. He has beeen acting strange for 3 days staight now and he has contacted and hung out with a friend that uses the same drug of choice.... I want to give him a drug test?

Dee74

Hi and welcome TM1617

You've come to a great place for support.

I encourage you to also check out our Family and Friends forums - you'll find a lot of people there who have been in similar situations.

Have you talked to your bf about your concerns yet?

D

NewBeginning010

Hi TM1617, to SR.

You may find it helpful to also post this in the "Friends & Family" section as well as there are people that will understand your situation. Don't worry if people don't post right away as it is late right now. I will post a link for you in a second.

I am sorry to hear about your husbands addiction, it is a tough situation & I hope that you both get through it.

Take care & all of the best ~ NB

EDIT: Dee beat me to it... again lol ;-)

Impurrfect

(((TM))) - I also agree about the friends and family forum, but I will tell you this. I'm both a recovering addict (RA) and have loved ones who are addicts/alcoholics (A's).

Rehab is not a cure, we don't GET cured. I'm still an A, but I'm in recovery. I left my exbf because he had no intentions of getting into recovery. My stepmother (I live with her and my dad) is an A. I spend a lot of time on the F&F forum and have learned the A is going to do whatever they're going to do - regardless of what I do. I was the same way when I was using.

I'm sorry for what has brought you here, but there is a lot of experience, strength and hope (ES&H) on the F&F forums - you are not alone.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

IvanKatz

If your BF is having serious mood swings and strange behaviour - it is HIGHLY likely he is using. IF he is using, he will be the most convincing lier on the face of the earth. Addicts are basically professional liars - until they WANT TO quit. I know this isn't what you want to hear but it is what it is... Impurrfect is 100% spot on when she mentioned the fact that rehab doesn't mean cured. Many "rehabbed" folks go right back to square one when they get out. It is because they really didn't want it.
Now, he may not be using but odds are he is. Going back to old habbits and junkie friends is a HUGE indicator.
You have some serious challenges ahead of you. The biggest being - are you going to stay with him? If I were in your shoes, I say a drug test was in order. If he's dirty, I'd cut'em loose and tell him you "might" be available in 6 months if you're still available.
I know I'm being really hard but the fact is, if he's using... You're involved with a junkie! Let that sink in for a moment.

I'll put this another way...

Right now I'm sitting here typing away while my wife is across the room watching her favorite show. She is sitting there without a worry in the world with a cat in her lap. She is not worried about me and that makes me both happy AND proud that I can give her that sense of peace. I respect and love her more than anything in this physical world.
Don't you deserve the same?