Feel like hell
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Listowel ontario
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Feel like hell
Been off cocaine now for five days and I feel like tomorrow won't come at all. I just want to use but it's so not healthy. From what I've read it dosent matter if you've used twice or a hundred times the withdrawal is just as hard. Being up that high and then the down is what probably makes people relapse. I hope I can get over this, way to much on the line to screw up now
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 80
I had a coke habit a few years ago, quit it cold turkey. You can get through this and when you do, remember how ****** you feel right now the next time your brain tells you it needs some.
Don't let your brain trick you. You do not need it. You WILL feel better soon.
Good Luck!
Don't let your brain trick you. You do not need it. You WILL feel better soon.
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 83
Hi Sillybean. Congrats on Day 5. From my own personal experience, and what I have read from others, days 3 - 5 are the hardest in terms of physical withdrawals. On day 5, I had to take it one minute at a time.
What are you doing for your withdrawals?
What are you doing for your withdrawals?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 38
u can get through the coke withdraw... expect not to sleep much cold sweats ect. For me the worst part about it was the mental obsession that always caught me at low times and i would end up going out. It got to the point for me with it that i wouldn't even get high i wiould use it and just get instant headache/bone/back pains, but i needed it. I was a slave
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
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Originally Posted by Sillybean 
Been off cocaine now for five days and I feel like tomorrow won't come at all. I just want to use but it's so not healthy. From what I've read it dosent matter if you've used twice or a hundred times the withdrawal is just as hard. Being up that high and then the down is what probably makes people relapse. I hope I can get over this, way to much on the line to screw up now
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: California
Posts: 60
I dabbled in coke pretty regularly right before I went to the addiction doctor even though my main DOC was opiates. I've now been free of all of it for 3 days. It doesn't sound like much and I know I wouldn't have gotten this far if not for Suboxone and my doctors, and the folks here too. Nobody else really knows, except my husband who has his own struggles in this area.
I'm struggling too, in ways that don't seem to make sense. I'm not fond of the Sub despite that it allows me to function. That's about all I am doing- functioning on a basic level. I feel so detached, emotionless, 'not myself'; not really 'here' except as a shell which is only enough to keep my job and the reason I have to take it in the first place.
It's mental and emotional strangeness: confusion, random incohesive jumpy thoughts, lethargy (but not as bad as yesterday when I barely got out of bed and didn't leave the house, at least). Depression with a sort of restless mental agitation. Apathy, a sense that things aren't right and maybe the answers are just out of my grasp. Maybe my brain is trying to make sense of it all without the other drugs, I don't know. I can't even describe so anything makes sense to myself or anyone else.... sometimes want to crawl out of my own skin and run away. The only saving grace is that I don't want to use and go through that again because at least this is consistent, unlike how I felt every day on that stuff. But whatever it is I'm trying to figure out, for what, why, and where the answers are, I don't know. Right now I'm not sure I even care because it just makes my head spin. And on the other hand I feel like a zombie, walking around like the living dead but at least I'm not using.
I think all this is why I freaked out and stopped the Suboxone last time. I tried to taper on my own unsuccessfully and ended up using again so I know that's not the answer. I hated these feelings so much I would rather deal with anything else but it led me right back into the deep end. I just hope I can hold on until this passes because it scares me and I don't liek it, but I can't go back to what I was before, and I can't go cold turkey of the Sub because that didn't work either. I don't know what I want except to feel normal and good again, and this is not it.
My husband is dealing with his own issues tapering his pain management meds and hasn't been doing well and I can't do anything to help more than I have been, but he's either shutting me out, or I'm shutting him out, neither on purpose I don't think. We're just caught up in our own heads with our own issues right now, I guess. He doesn't seem to understand what I'm dealing with so can't help me. I can't even seem to talk to him. It's like we're both falling apart and I fear our marriage is not far behind. We weren't always this way, and I want us to be what we were before the drugs but I don't know how to get there, or if he will be able to even if I can. I feel lost, alone, and don't know what to do. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about all this so thanks for listening to my rambling. I just had to get it out becuase it's just rattling around my brain going nowhere like a hamster on a wheel. I feel even more lame because others have way worse struggles and issues to face than I do, yet here I am complaining.
I'm struggling too, in ways that don't seem to make sense. I'm not fond of the Sub despite that it allows me to function. That's about all I am doing- functioning on a basic level. I feel so detached, emotionless, 'not myself'; not really 'here' except as a shell which is only enough to keep my job and the reason I have to take it in the first place.
It's mental and emotional strangeness: confusion, random incohesive jumpy thoughts, lethargy (but not as bad as yesterday when I barely got out of bed and didn't leave the house, at least). Depression with a sort of restless mental agitation. Apathy, a sense that things aren't right and maybe the answers are just out of my grasp. Maybe my brain is trying to make sense of it all without the other drugs, I don't know. I can't even describe so anything makes sense to myself or anyone else.... sometimes want to crawl out of my own skin and run away. The only saving grace is that I don't want to use and go through that again because at least this is consistent, unlike how I felt every day on that stuff. But whatever it is I'm trying to figure out, for what, why, and where the answers are, I don't know. Right now I'm not sure I even care because it just makes my head spin. And on the other hand I feel like a zombie, walking around like the living dead but at least I'm not using.
I think all this is why I freaked out and stopped the Suboxone last time. I tried to taper on my own unsuccessfully and ended up using again so I know that's not the answer. I hated these feelings so much I would rather deal with anything else but it led me right back into the deep end. I just hope I can hold on until this passes because it scares me and I don't liek it, but I can't go back to what I was before, and I can't go cold turkey of the Sub because that didn't work either. I don't know what I want except to feel normal and good again, and this is not it.
My husband is dealing with his own issues tapering his pain management meds and hasn't been doing well and I can't do anything to help more than I have been, but he's either shutting me out, or I'm shutting him out, neither on purpose I don't think. We're just caught up in our own heads with our own issues right now, I guess. He doesn't seem to understand what I'm dealing with so can't help me. I can't even seem to talk to him. It's like we're both falling apart and I fear our marriage is not far behind. We weren't always this way, and I want us to be what we were before the drugs but I don't know how to get there, or if he will be able to even if I can. I feel lost, alone, and don't know what to do. I don't really have anyone else to talk to about all this so thanks for listening to my rambling. I just had to get it out becuase it's just rattling around my brain going nowhere like a hamster on a wheel. I feel even more lame because others have way worse struggles and issues to face than I do, yet here I am complaining.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 67
Originally Posted by NoWhereGirl
It's mental and emotional strangeness: confusion, random incohesive jumpy thoughts, lethargy (but not as bad as yesterday when I barely got out of bed and didn't leave the house, at least). Depression with a sort of restless mental agitation. Apathy, a sense that things aren't right and maybe the answers are just out of my grasp. Maybe my brain is trying to make sense of it all without the other drugs, I don't know. I can't even describe so anything makes sense to myself or anyone else.... sometimes want to crawl out of my own skin and run away. The only saving grace is that I don't want to use and go through that again because at least this is consistent, unlike how I felt every day on that stuff. But whatever it is I'm trying to figure out, for what, why, and where the answers are, I don't know. Right now I'm not sure I even care because it just makes my head spin. And on the other hand I feel like a zombie, walking around like the living dead but at least I'm not using.
NoWhereGirl,
You are definitely NOT alone! ALL of these symptoms are normal to withdrawal. I knew this would be hard, but going through all the psycho-physio-emotional crap sometimes seems insurmountable.
But this, too, shall pass...
You will feel better one day, just be gentle with yourself, like you would be with a wounded puppy. You are in a fight for your self, for your soul, and since the stakes are so high, the battle can be fierce.
I have 33 days off percoset today, and there are good days & bad days, but my worst day sober is still better than my best day using, because using flat out stopped working. I was only using to not be sick. I was still just as emotionless, lethargic, hating myself & hating my life WHILE using. The addict part of our brains tries to trick us into remembering only the "honeymoon" phase of our drug affair, and tries to make us forget how truly awful it had become.
You have my admiration for taking such a big step. I would say to be sure to check in with your doctor, & let him know what's going on. Most are very understanding & see addicts all the time, and can help you through withdrawal.
Also, I would try not to make any life-altering decisions right now. I have felt similar feelings about my own husband, and I'm shocked at how altered my perceptions of his motives have been while I was using. Give both of you time.
I hope you can go to an AA/NA mtg soon. Sharing our pent-up emotions is like medicine to us addicts.
Keep posting!
Blessings~~
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