worlddrifter

I found this site and thought what the hell. Right now I am on 200 mcg of fentenyle, 270milligrams of oxycodone, and 160 milligrams 2 times a day of opana (morphine). I have a very rare disease but I am only 41. I hate the way I feel but I hate the memories of that pain even more.I lost my job and most days have a hard time even functioning.I yelled at my son today because he wanted to play. I think I was jealous.I have tried not taking anything and maybe I am weak but the pain that follows is unbearable.Im sure the withdrawel is bad enough by itself. I dont see a way out but this cant be the way I must go on.

Threshold

I'm sorry you are in such a difficult situation. I don't know what other pain relief options you have tried, but I do know there are pain centers that specialize in pain reduction. They offer many methods other than simply pills, perhaps they could help you.

Are you still taking the pain meds now? This is a great support site for recovery. I'm glad you joined up.

Dee74

welcome again worlddrifter

I really encourage you to seek out as many doctors as you need to to find the treatment that's right for you.

I also suffer chronic pain. My addictive history was with alcohol but I still avoid pain killers as much as possible, relying on other treatments, medical and non medical, as much as I can.

It's taken a while to get a regime in place and to iron out some of the bumps but I'm feeling the best I have in a long time now

I wish you all the best in finding the pain management regime thats right for you

D

IvanKatz

You are not alone. I had been taking 40mg of Opana for a couple of years to cover my chronic pain. I discovered over time that I depended on them more than anything else. I got off the meds and have been living alright. Pain is there, but I have my life back. Keep in mind, this is MY experience and mine alone. I've been there buddy! You're not alone and we're here to listen.

efftheox

Wow world, Im really sorry to hear about your struggles. Welcome to SR, and whatever you decide to do to deal with the situation know that we are all here to help. Keep your head up, as hard as that sounds, and try to find a way out. Im praying for you 100%, and look forward to seeing what you decide to do.
Ask for anything we can do to help.

lorilou1

Hi worlddrifter,
I was very sad when I read ur post,i was sad for ur son because I used to do that to my children and it is not there fault and they dont understand.. I hope u can find a doc to help u, and there r some meds u can take to help w/ the w/d. You have so much to live clean for and I enjoy being clean everyday, not saying it is easy everyday but feel better about myself @ least. I hope u find some peace, slow down and pray a little it will help,if u ask.. Good Luck to u.. U CAN DO IT!!!!!!!! Get CLEAN...

Dees

Hi Worlddrifter. My first thought after reading your post was "That is a large amount of narcotics to try and quit c/t from." I think that getting off of your narcotics can be done, but I really think you need to talk to a doctor. Let your doctor know how you feel and let your doctor know that you are not happy with your quality of life. He/she can definitely help you on your road to recovery.

All the best,

Dees

keltie

Hi WD,
I'm so sorry for your pain. Chronic pain can destroy your quality of life and make you so depressed, cant' it?

I agree with Dees wholeheartedly- do you have a pain management doctor? Also, there is a pain management section of this board that's very helpful. I would never try to withdraw from that large a quantity of narcotics w/o seeking medical advice. Please contact a doctor and let us know how you're doing.

worlddrifter

Thank you all for the support. I am going to a pain clinic but I think maybe it is time for some other opinions. Seems I get so confused sometimes. Maybe I just let myself forget how lucky I am sometimes. I have to start looking for a solution I guess. My son deserves more. thanks again for now.