support4life

Hey guys, I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now. He has been addicted to oxy for about 2 years now( he's tried to stop before, but relapsed). When we met, he said that was his past, but after a year of being manipulated and lied too, I caught him snorting a month ago. I felt ******* pissed and betrayed and wanted to end the relationship, but inevitably I love him and know he has a better life ahead. He pleaded and cried that this was the end, and he didn't want to live this life of addiction anymore, i believe he was sincere. He attends a outpatient program, and attends all his meetings for about a month now. I can say, he truly has changed as a person and tells me how he feels better and better everyday, even his family can tell a difference. Everything was great, he started school, and I thought its OVER. BUT.. yesterday, as if god told me to check his pockets, I reached and found 4 roxys. My body became limp and numb. I confronted him and he admitted, that yesterday he found these jeans in his closet, put them on and discovered 8 oxys in a little pocket. He said he was probably so ****** up one day, that he forgot they were even there. I could tell they were old, the blue color was faded and the letters/#'s on the pill could barely be seen. I also know he has no money, nor does anyone give him money,, but hell who knows right. He said he wasn't going to lie, when he saw them he had instant excitement and couldn't wait to come home and snort them. He said he was weak and its like god was testing him. He said he tried to fight it but the urge was way to strong. He said he thinks any addict, would get excited, and would be too weak. So he took 4 pills yesterday anticipating the other 4 for later that night.. So now I feel like where back where we started, at the beginning.. is this a slip or a relapse?.. Please provide some feedback, some insight.. should he start counting sobriety from day one again? what now

doggonecarl

Does it really matter? He's using. He found 8 pills and did four and had every intention of doing the other four. What if he had found 30? Would he have done eight and thrown the rest away? No, he wouldn't.

Relapse isn't a numerical thing, it's the mindset of an addict to use again.

You are dating this guy. Dating. Do you really need to put yourself through this? You were advised before to see the Friends and Family section of this forum. Please do so. I hope you will start taking care of the person you can help--yourself.

smacked

Gah.. I hate both of those words. He's using again.. That isn't true, not "any" addict would be excited and use.. I'd probably throw up if **** like that showed up really really unexpectedly, and flush them before my head could wrap around anything more than that. And because of the recovery work I have done, I wouldn't have another thought about it. I want to stay clean more than anything, I had to want it that bad, or I'd still be ****** up all the time. He's either an active addict, or he's not.. good thing is, you get to choose whether or not to be involved with it. How are you taking care of your needs through this stuff?