So guilty!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1
So guilty!
Hey, I'm new here - a 20 year old college student addicted to Vicodin for almost two years. Started to self-medicate an extreme anxiety and depression disorder which spiraled into a full-blown addiction. Though I get good marks and maintain a somewhat functional lifestyle, the addiction is beginning to grow out of control. I often have access to pills because my parents have consistent prescriptions. I've tried quitting countless times, all to no avail.
Today is the third time I've been caught taking pills. Before my parents first discovered I had an addiction, I was never thought of as untrustworthy. Now I am a liar, deceiver, betrayer - times 10. I've never felt so guilty in my life. I feel so horrible that I've disappointed my parents, made them cry, all because I have no control over this terrible addiction. I thought - in the beginning - that I would have the willpower and determination to quit with ease. I had no idea that my brain would biologically altered in such an alarming way.
Anyway, I'm currently in a state of limbo. Awaiting news whether I will be kicked out of the house, pulled out of school, entered into rehab - or a combination of the three. I just feel terrible and I don't know what to do, nor do I know what this post will accomplish.
- Erased, over, out.
Today is the third time I've been caught taking pills. Before my parents first discovered I had an addiction, I was never thought of as untrustworthy. Now I am a liar, deceiver, betrayer - times 10. I've never felt so guilty in my life. I feel so horrible that I've disappointed my parents, made them cry, all because I have no control over this terrible addiction. I thought - in the beginning - that I would have the willpower and determination to quit with ease. I had no idea that my brain would biologically altered in such an alarming way.
Anyway, I'm currently in a state of limbo. Awaiting news whether I will be kicked out of the house, pulled out of school, entered into rehab - or a combination of the three. I just feel terrible and I don't know what to do, nor do I know what this post will accomplish.
- Erased, over, out.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR. Sounds like the pills have you hard in their grasp.
I think it would be a blessing if your parents could send you to rehab. You could detox under supervision and work on freeing yourself from this terrible affliction. I hope you aren't mad at them for considering it. Seems to me they are trying to save your life.
I think it would be a blessing if your parents could send you to rehab. You could detox under supervision and work on freeing yourself from this terrible affliction. I hope you aren't mad at them for considering it. Seems to me they are trying to save your life.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 200
Welcome to SR! Keep us posted on what happens. I wish I could go to rehab... if your parents decide to go with that route, trust the process. You are young and it would be much better to "nip this in the bud" before it gets any worse, which it always does.
~Pandie
~Pandie
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