16 days on this "off the pills" roller coaster
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
16 days on this "off the pills" roller coaster
Today is day 16 since I quit taking pills. On day 14 I found a pill in my coat pocket & took it. Told husband & we've weathered that storm of disappointment. Its the weekend now & they r the hardest for me. During the week, I have work & the kids have stuff after school so I stay busy. On the weekends I have idle time & I struggle. Anyone else have this pro
blem & some advise. I haven't used since the 1 pill on day 14, but struggling with bordism! Need words of encouragement!!
blem & some advise. I haven't used since the 1 pill on day 14, but struggling with bordism! Need words of encouragement!! 
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 30
That's my biggest problem is idle time and being bored, have you tried going to NA meetings, they can keep you busy and get your mind in the right place, you could also meet some people there that are going through the same thing and you could spend time with them. Good luck! I am curious to see what other people have to say...
Julz
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Amesbury, Massachusettes
Posts: 33
Hey Struggler! Thank you soo much for sharing. I can totally understand where your coming from. I think boardem is the worst thing for all of us addicts!! Try hitting up some meetings. Even AA meetings. They are open to welcoming anyone who is in the grips of anything. Maybe go walking, or even go dub around your local walmart, just so your not sitting at home on the couch wishing you could use. We as addicts are our own worst enimy!! Also, utilize this site as much as you can, the people on here are great and have helped me in a huge way!!
I hope that helped, if not alot, at least a little!!
I wish you the very best of luck!!
I hope that helped, if not alot, at least a little!!
I wish you the very best of luck!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: TX
Posts: 15
I'm pretty new in my recovery, but when I get bored I come here and read while listening to youtube videos. If that doesn't work, I jump on the treadmill for a while. Hope you find some good suggestions that will work for you!! Take care!
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Its been an anxious struggle for me to be 1 6 months sober, 4 months off crack. I do my best to stay as busy as possible doing something. I attend AA regularly and hang on SR as much as possible. No matter though, I just "suffer through" the temptations and hard times. I am truly better off not using. Rootin for ya strugglerf. You can do it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
Well today is day 17, besides the one pill on day 14. I spent all morning at Bible study & church which has been my saving grace! My husband is going to be home in a few hours after being gone 13 days for work & I am so excited to have him home for the adult interaction. He'll be home for a week & is great strength/support for me. So I'd like to think that will just add 7 more days under my belt! Wish me luck/ blessings! Thank you all for such great support everyday - its great
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
Struggle-- you and I are at the same days. (I think). I get bored and think about drugs and then I go back to how they were consuming my life. I thought about nothing but and that is NOT how I wanted to live. While sometimes it's hard to embrace sobriety my body needs to be treated better along with ALL of my family and friends. Drugs are selfish...that's just all there is to it. I have to remind myself of those things regularly.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: California
Posts: 60
Good for you! I can't wait to be that far into this. I'm just hoping I can make it through one day and night at this point. I have tried and failed so many times 
Boredom is what gets me too, and lack of willpower when around those still using whom I can't avoid, like my husband (who is on legit pain management and has better willpower than I) and his friends who come over (who aren't legit like he is but use at our house). They may have to stay away until I'm stronger, I don't know. I'm just trying to remember what it was like before I had this problem, what did I do then that was different than now? None of them have changed, only I have and I need to change back.
I think there is a sticky on page one about Things to Do instead of use, my problem is feeling well enough to even try something on the list, much less be able to stick with it after that. Things like exercising, which they say becomes habit much like my drug use has, except I can't get the exercise part to stick yet
Boredom is what gets me too, and lack of willpower when around those still using whom I can't avoid, like my husband (who is on legit pain management and has better willpower than I) and his friends who come over (who aren't legit like he is but use at our house). They may have to stay away until I'm stronger, I don't know. I'm just trying to remember what it was like before I had this problem, what did I do then that was different than now? None of them have changed, only I have and I need to change back.
I think there is a sticky on page one about Things to Do instead of use, my problem is feeling well enough to even try something on the list, much less be able to stick with it after that. Things like exercising, which they say becomes habit much like my drug use has, except I can't get the exercise part to stick yet
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
Hi everyone, end of day 19 (besides the 1 pill on day 14 i can't forget). Doing pretty good! My husband is home this week & things are good with us. It will be awhile before all the tension is gone, but i admire his strength in standing by me through this. Everyday is getting easier. I still get urges, but they're strictly from idle time i think. My body is healing slowly. I'm getting energy back in the morning, but by afternoon i'm tired. I jave to remember that is how all 'normal' people are (especially at a 9-5 job). Hubby is filling my evenings with mind activity & kids & stuff - so mostly i'm just embracing every oppurtunity to stay busy. I have been meeting regularly twice a week for bible study & the trueiracle here is God's grace being given to me! He is definately working on me. Also started guitar lessons yesterday once a week which had always been a dream of mine to play. I very passionate about music, so i'm psyched about that. So, really just keeping busy with things that make me happy (kids, hub, music, God). Tomorrow will be day 20 of one day at a time! Nowheregirl, hang in there. The first 7 days are so hard physically. U want to use just to feel better, but honey it just makes it worse causing guilt & depression. Mind over matter on this thing. Like - i WILL be better, not i WANT to be better. Thanks to everyone & i look forward to all the support i get on SR. Peace out to day 19!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
So today is day 24 since I started changing my lifestyle. I've had ups & downs for sure. I had the moment of weakness when I found the pill in the pocket, but several moments of strength when my old hook ups called & I told them I wasn't using anymore. I'm not getting calls anymore & am glad for that. My daughter had to have emergency surgery though last week & ya they prescriped elixir for her. I asked the doc for something non-narcotic, but he said the pain would be too much for her. It was so discouraging & scary. I have to say that bottle calls at me, but have so far been able to resist the urges. Have to be honest though, my husband is monitoring the medicine to make sure I'm not dipping into it. I also never liked elixir as much as the pills, but - yeah. So I guess I just want to talk about it. Has anyone ever been in this situation? At this point in my recovery, I'm starting to think less 'toxically' & my thought process is that taking anything makes all the hard days I've made it through in vain. I still have no desire to go out & buy, but that little ugly voice that says 'just 1 wont hurt is coming out. Ugh! This sucks. I know she won't be in pain anymore in another day or two & I can dump it!! Until then its like living with an evil spirit in the house taunting me. I feel icky as if I drank the whole thing when I haven't even touched it. I dunno, just kind of got so many emotions right now I'm not sure which one to pick.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
Oh ya, that was the 1st thing I did when I started regaining my strength. 1st and foremost Bible study lessonsthat I get from my twice a week study groups. Then I also picked up the guitar again after 2 years & started formal lessons. I also have a full time day job that keeps me focused 8-5. So ya, I picked up on the 'no idle time's right away!! I also spend a lot of time reading posts on SR which is so helpful! Some days its just the time consuming thing I need while the urge passes. Thank u so much for your support. God bless you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 432
strugglerf - It's always a very sobering thought that you would be willing to let your child be in pain by taking her medication just so you could get high. That is the powerlessness of this disease.... I am thinking that you probably would not want to go down that path of serious guilt and shame. Good that you are praying to a higher power.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 24
Yes its sickening actually. I would have done it though a short time ago. Today I can stop & think about this before acting & that thought u just posted is all the more reason to forget about it & continue moving forward with my sobriety. Thank u
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: california
Posts: 323
((Struggler))
It's a terrible disease, isn't it? I just wanted to say you are not alone- I took some of my daughter's pain meds after she had her wisdom teeth taken out when I was in the grip of my active addiction. It makes you do things you normally wouldn't do. Just do "the next right thing" as they say in NA. Give yourself a pat on the back for resisting so far. Are you able to have your husband or someone lock it up and administer it to her? That is what I would do. Good luck today, honey.
**never mind- I see you do have your hubby monitoring it. Good idea! **
It's a terrible disease, isn't it? I just wanted to say you are not alone- I took some of my daughter's pain meds after she had her wisdom teeth taken out when I was in the grip of my active addiction. It makes you do things you normally wouldn't do. Just do "the next right thing" as they say in NA. Give yourself a pat on the back for resisting so far. Are you able to have your husband or someone lock it up and administer it to her? That is what I would do. Good luck today, honey.
**never mind- I see you do have your hubby monitoring it. Good idea! **
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