NewAttitude

Just wondering if anyone else struggles with the preparation & eating of food: breakfast, lunch, & dinner.
I find myself hungrier than I was when I ate opies all day, but finding the energy or motivation to prepare meals is not coming about easily.

I'm a wife & mother, & basically cooking is my default responsibility, one that I've been consistently failing at for the last few yrs due to the pills. My family eats a lot of pizza, fast food, canned chili, etc., or my husband cooks after working a 9 hr day. Because my own appetite was basically nil, and I was so wiped out from opies, I couldnt bring myself to prepare food very often.

Well now I'm more hungry, but still don't want to cook. Honestly, I'm home all day and I "have no excuse" for not making lovely meals daily like what my SAHM neighbors do. But being too tired or too anxious to even go the the grocery store just adds another level to the difficulty.

One of my greatest goals is to be a good wife & mom: to clean the house happily, to cook happily, to transform my filthy house into a clean, warm home where my son knows he will have regular meals.

This guilt & self-condemnation that I feel is paralyzing, and I am ashamed to admit how much I have missed the mark. I'm just wondering if I'm alone in dealing with these issues....

IvanKatz

You're definitely not alone in this aspect of recovery. During week one of my recovery (when my appetite came back) my appetite became ravenous by day 6. I forced myself to go to the store and get food. Came home, and rested 30 minutes. Got up and started preparing dinner. Rested for 20 minutes, then cooked it.
Day 16 here and I'm operating like a normal human being again!
Point is, baby steps. Go do it! Take a break, get back up, and repeat. The biggest thing you can do is get up and move. I know it sucks!!!!!! But I am here to tell you that you have to get up and move!!!!!!!!!
It is the best thing you can do for yourself!
Nutrition is a close second!!!!!!! Don't eat lots of carbs for breakfast either. It'll only make you tired by noon. Eggs were my best medicine day 4-8! That and forcing @zz off the recliner! It sucks but it gets better!

lostgirl25

Take baby steps NewAttitude. You have expressed what you want. That is your goal. Don't beat up on yourself. Your job right now is to get through the early stage which will probably be 7-10 days. I had to literally force myself to do the basic necessities. Clean, cook, get groceries, and move the first week. You are not alone but it sounds as if your husband is supporting your recovery. Keep focused on the goal that you will be clean and it will get better. I also have a child and now getting close to 3 months I am so thankful that my child has meals, a Mom that engages in her life, and is able to be the responsible adult. You don't want to ever go through this again so be proud of each day you don't use and take one step forward. You will make it. Hold on to the good that will come from this pain and remember the pain is coming from the poison we have put in our bodies. Keep posting and stay strong.

NewAttitude

many thanks for this particular info. Not preparing proper meals for my son has been such a source of shame, so being thankful that your child has regular meals is something I can totally ID with.
So good to know I aint alone in this...

finaltime

New attitude, you are so not alone on this..I struggle with this daily, weekly and yesterday my husband and I had a huge fight over COOKING. A little about my story, I was on opiates daily for the past 5 years, tried to quit numerous times and always failed. I have made it now off of them for 55 days. The first month I didn't feel like doing a dang thing, then my energy lifted a little. I work long days as a teacher, come home and take care of our baby then do dinner, then her ready for bed, then he wants time with me. I feel like there is never time for ME and most of the time I don't want this big meal, I would be happy with cereal. Then the times I do step it up and cook this nice healthy meal I am expected to clean it up and most of the time I still have to take care of the baby. I know these are motherly duties, however he can help, we are both capable. I made this nice meal the night before, cleaned it up then yesterday morning I was not in the mood to make him breakfast, so I just had something simple for me and the baby. He threw a fit and ignored me all day. Basically our problems are a lot more then just cooking lol. My whole recovery has hit him really hard, and my energy level and feeling like the world should revolve around me is not easy. A lot of the time I just want to try and get through the damn day!~~~~ Let alone have to worry about two other people is hard for me. When I was on the pills I felt like I could do it all. I cooked, cleaned, played with baby, worked out and more. Now without the pills I just go through the motions. I know this is changing, my body is still recovering, but the people around us need to really realize how much we are going through too. I don't have any real answer for you but just keep on trucking...When you can cook, cook, when you have energy do what you can. Even when you don't, if you can step it up, try. Our body deservers good healthy meals, and it makes us feel better when we cook it. I live overseas and want to just hire a maid to do all the work. (it is really cheap to have a full time maid here). But my husband says NO to everything. Here he wants me to be like the stepford wives and conquer the world! And I will be able to again, one day, just not too soon....Or give me 3000 pills and never let me run out, and let them be free, you will get perfect wife until I die of an overdose! So what is better? Being lazy a bit and sober, or being high and perfect ha ha. Ok now I am rambling...