danacooper859

I've been in the program for many years. Ive had long periods of soberity with several relapses. The last relapse I had was on pain pills, it has been hard to overcome. I beat myself up over it ruthlessly, because I should have known better. It has been hard starting over in my recovery, there are people that I know that had alot of years that did relapse on pain pills too. Its not real common with people that have aot of time to relapse on pills thank God. I just want to get as much support as possible because I know I could die. Soberity is such a precious thing.

lorilou1

Hi Dana,
I am in the same boat right now in recovery, is not the first time either.
We know what not to do and sometimes our minds just over come everything I have learned, but this time I have to do it also or I will die.
I have to do it for me!!! We can do this,but honestly I am ok till something happens either w/ my husband or something else and I have to learn how to deal w/ problems, believe me it is hard!!!
I have to get back to meetings, which do help because the loneliness is the hardest for me.
I pray everyday to give thanks and help..
I feel what u r going through and all I can say is that it does get better
i ordered that Pink Method exercise program to help me, because if I learn to love myself I think I will get better. no more beating myself up and u need to stop also, we r what we r and we can only go up from here..
Remember the serinity prayer and keep saying it, go for walks(I love doing that)
We will SURVIVE!!!!! Just talking about it helps also so keep on talking even if u ramble like I am doing(ha ha) Laugh a little,smile,u r a beautiful person and U deserve to live a great life also, normal people screw up also, that just can`t admit it and we can!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have a good day and smile(try it)

danacooper859

Thank you for your post lorilou1. It is challenging to come back into the program and admit Ive made a mistake Id rather do that than the alturnative.

danacooper859

I feel alot of hope today, the thing is this addiction is the hardest thing Ive had to Quit. Ive had 2 yesrs off of the pills and Havnt Got back on track like I would think. Ive had alot of depression and anxiety. I was hospitalized during my withdraw. I see an addiction specialist counselor. I should mention that I was on oxcotin 80 for almost three years,this hasnt been a Quick recovery. It has effected me mentally,physically and spiritually. I want to stay sober so bad. I had 8 years clean before I relapsed, It is hard for me to talk about but I reallyneed to..

sissy1980m

You obviously know what to do, its just hard to stay on trck and be complelely sober from every mind altering substance. I do knw this, i only have 4 mths sober, but im so used to either having adderall or ambien, when im out of everything and seem to think those are ok, bc opiates and benzos were my thing. But the truth is none of its ok, we have to learn how to live life on lifes terms. I have been feeling better than i ever did high, its been such a blessing.

danacooper859

Learning to live clean is the goal. It is better sober. Good feelings last a lot longer.