justme1119

Well to start I sisnt drink willingly at first I was 9 and my mom's bf was abusive made me drink and do sexual favors or w.e. Well it seems when I started drinking at 11 willingly. It was because I was depressed. I always drink excessively when I'm depressed. I sobered up last year for 3 months until my bf dumped me and I felt like nothing and I just felt like I hit back to rock bottom then I started using. I started drinking again and it went on up until november. I found out I'm going to be having a baby girl in june and it's been decided we're keeping it. So I decided I wanted try and sober up and while I know that I am not ready right now I'm trying to get on that path to be a better person I guess. But the issue is that exact issue I stress a lot about this and also I'm having issues with an ex-bf again and then it brings upon the depression which I don't know how to handle it's like I have to handle it in some self-destructing way by drinking/drugs or cutting or if all else fails I just tend to feel to the point I feel I want kill myself. I hate it I don't know how to get out of it like not fee this way but I just do. I don't know how to save myself. I just don't. Advice anyone deal with this what did you do?

sobersloan

You need to seek HELP immediately! Go to your local clinic, AA, ER and detox. I know it's tough, but you are growing a baby (( <3 ))

justme1119

I've gotten off pretty much in november it's just going back is an issue. And I don't know how to cope. Like the whole thing about our daugter and things going against the way planned having to depend on her mom my ex-bf keeps making it hard just to attend school and he's so controlling and abusive it's like he always wants to control my life even though we've been done for a long time and the least of all being diagnosed with my first std. It's all a lot to handle everydayi feel like I need a way out but I don't know what that means.

justme1119

I read your message. I'm not pregnant. I was saying I got an acquaintance pregnant. We are expecting because of that.....

Sweets79

I suffer from severe depression and I had almost a year sober. I relapsed in August and started taking my anti-depressants sparatically, which was the worst thing I could have done. And, since alcohol is a depressant, you may feel good initially for a while but then you will come crashing down, and that is definitely not a good feeling.

Bottom line is alcohol makes depression much worse. Seeing the doctor and getting proper meds and staying sober is the best thing anyone can do.

justme1119

I have things in my drink usually. But yea I guess you're rigt if I can't manage I need help essentially.

freethinking

So are you gay then? You mentioned having issues with an ex-bf as well which is why this is confusing to those of us reading. the way you write is confusing in general.

You need some drastic changes, that is all I can gleam from this. This will probably be deleted, but I am guessing you need some sort of medication like antidepressants and some serious counseling.

Has your friend considered giving the baby up for adoption? I don't know about her, but you do not sound anywhere near ready to have a child.

NYCDoglvr

I suffer from both alcoholism and depression, which is very common. I went to AA for help in staying sober and also got a terrific shrink who prescribed anti-depressants. It's been 20 years since I drank. I wouldn't be alive without BOTH AA and my doctor. But I promise you your life can change.

justme1119

Well couldn't I be straight because I got someone pregnant with that train of thought?

Well I feel a bit better now. I got some help. And it doesn't seem so bleak. At least I can look to the future.

Why is it getting deleted?

Also I'm actually more ready than she is to parent. But we're both very young and have considered signing away temporary custody to her mom. I don't like it though because her mom's a welfare mom. Which was apart of my stressing. I'm going to take a calm approach to it and enjoy winter break and ignore social sites that are an issue.

wow congrat NYCD. That's what I keep thinking if I take one day by day, I'll finally look back and years will be between me and substance abuse. I want to graduate hs and have 4 yrs behind me.

also I had a lot of incoherency in this post because I erased a lot of the parts that were a little too much without editing.

protocol53

Thank you for your message of hope. My bf also suffers from both alcoholism and depression. He has started working on it, and wants to get better. Thank you so much for your ray of hope.