It's time to let go of this HELL!
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It's time to let go of this HELL!
I'm new to the site I came across it while searching for opiate detox. I'm really scared no one knows of my help with opiates for the past 6 years. I'm scared to tell my wife afraid she might look down on me. I have always been the strong one there for many recovering alcoholics and pill poppers in my family. It has never affected my job or my life, but it did revolve around taking those pills every few hours. Trying to hide taking them is tuff. I have always had a script for them so never affected my finance. So I always found it hard to quit. Recently it has started to make me sick and now I have FINALLY SAID NO. It is enough. I'm about to try to go to sleep it has been 12 hours since my last dose withdrawl has started tremendous pain and crawling feeling. I have to go to work tomorrow, and need some tips. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much.
Last edited by Dee74; 12-27-2011 at 09:43 PM. Reason: rule 10
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Join Date: Apr 2007
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Hi Duke
I think a lot of us have been the strong one, or otherwise find it difficult to ask for help, or show anything that might be interpreted as weakness....
I wasn't weak, I was addicted, and reaching out - finding support - probably saved my life.
I've said this before on other threads - but I recommend you seek professional medical advice if you're concerned tho - it really is the best way to go
D
I think a lot of us have been the strong one, or otherwise find it difficult to ask for help, or show anything that might be interpreted as weakness....
I wasn't weak, I was addicted, and reaching out - finding support - probably saved my life.
I've said this before on other threads - but I recommend you seek professional medical advice if you're concerned tho - it really is the best way to go
D
Last edited by Dee74; 12-27-2011 at 11:27 PM.
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Location: Atlanta
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(((Duke))) - Welcome to SR!! There are a few threads that are about opiate withdrawal, and though I know one is for oxy, from what I know, the withdrawals are similar.
Opiates weren't my "thing", crack was, but I've seen numerous posts that say withdrawal is like having a really bad case of the flu - achy, runny/sniffy nose, restless legs, diarrhea, etc. Immodium, gatorade/powerade, ibuprofen and lots of warm baths help a lot of people.
I'm glad you're choosing to quit. Early recovery isn't easy, especially with the withdrawals but it's really worth it.
When I first joined SR (after lurking for a long time) I read a lot of posts, found out I wasn't alone and that really helped.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Opiates weren't my "thing", crack was, but I've seen numerous posts that say withdrawal is like having a really bad case of the flu - achy, runny/sniffy nose, restless legs, diarrhea, etc. Immodium, gatorade/powerade, ibuprofen and lots of warm baths help a lot of people.
I'm glad you're choosing to quit. Early recovery isn't easy, especially with the withdrawals but it's really worth it.
When I first joined SR (after lurking for a long time) I read a lot of posts, found out I wasn't alone and that really helped.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi TheDuke84,
Welcome here!
It would be better if you didn't have to go to work for about a week at least, since most people in early opiate detox have stomach cramps, bowel issues, extreme lethargy, hot and cold flashes with sweating, sometimes nausea and vomiting, usually restless legs/restless body, crazy racing thoughts, and extreme insomnia. I remember not sleeping for days, and then when I did sleep it felt more like hallucinating than sleep, since it was for such short periods and was not deep sleep.
If you MUST work, plan to feel sick and listless. If you have a physical job, I doubt you will be able to work. If you have a desk job, you might be able to put your body in the chair, but you probably won't have great coherent thinking going on. Try not to do anything people depend on their lives for you to accomplish.
Get through the first day the best you can. Lie down if you can rest. You probably won't feel like exercising, but if you can get outside for some fresh air, that's not a bad idea.
You'll drag through the first three days or so, which is when most of us feel our worst. After that, it gradually gets better over the course of the first week. After the first week, I was able to work, but with difficulty. But you have more good days, or at least "less bad" days. Sleep will continue to be elusive. Hot baths and showers help. I felt like death warmed over. Most of us do.
Week three usually brings tremendous improvement. I functioned adequately at that point, but certainly not peak performance.
After that, there's a lot of variation, but at 3 months I felt pretty much back to normal. But I still continue to gain stamina and feel better each month, even at one year.
Look at the kicking the oxys thread for the link for PAWS - Digital Dharma. If you can't find it, maybe Dee will post it, or I'll go find it for you. It has a lot of helpful suggestions. PAWS is something I did not want to believe was possible, because I insisted I would be different and would be "fine" very quickly. I didn't. My husband thought I would be "fine" by the third day. Ha! NOT.
Good luck. The only way to the other side, back to your life, is to detox off the opiates. There is no quick way. There are substitute drugs, and sometimes your doc may prescribe stuff for the side effects of withdrawal. A checkup is a good idea anyway, and if you have health problems besides addiction, do NOT skip the medical checkup.
Oh yes, some people claim to be successful at tapering. I am not one of them. There's a lot of talk at times about that here, in fact pretty recently on some of the threads. Read through as many of them as you can. You may find different ones have more appeal to you, with different personalities showing up on the different threads.
Most of all, keep posting. Keep asking questions. We have a lot of support to offer. We can't give you medical advice, but we can share our experiences and suggestions for what works and doesn't work for us.
Good luck!
FT
Welcome here!
It would be better if you didn't have to go to work for about a week at least, since most people in early opiate detox have stomach cramps, bowel issues, extreme lethargy, hot and cold flashes with sweating, sometimes nausea and vomiting, usually restless legs/restless body, crazy racing thoughts, and extreme insomnia. I remember not sleeping for days, and then when I did sleep it felt more like hallucinating than sleep, since it was for such short periods and was not deep sleep.
If you MUST work, plan to feel sick and listless. If you have a physical job, I doubt you will be able to work. If you have a desk job, you might be able to put your body in the chair, but you probably won't have great coherent thinking going on. Try not to do anything people depend on their lives for you to accomplish.
Get through the first day the best you can. Lie down if you can rest. You probably won't feel like exercising, but if you can get outside for some fresh air, that's not a bad idea.
You'll drag through the first three days or so, which is when most of us feel our worst. After that, it gradually gets better over the course of the first week. After the first week, I was able to work, but with difficulty. But you have more good days, or at least "less bad" days. Sleep will continue to be elusive. Hot baths and showers help. I felt like death warmed over. Most of us do.
Week three usually brings tremendous improvement. I functioned adequately at that point, but certainly not peak performance.
After that, there's a lot of variation, but at 3 months I felt pretty much back to normal. But I still continue to gain stamina and feel better each month, even at one year.
Look at the kicking the oxys thread for the link for PAWS - Digital Dharma. If you can't find it, maybe Dee will post it, or I'll go find it for you. It has a lot of helpful suggestions. PAWS is something I did not want to believe was possible, because I insisted I would be different and would be "fine" very quickly. I didn't. My husband thought I would be "fine" by the third day. Ha! NOT.
Good luck. The only way to the other side, back to your life, is to detox off the opiates. There is no quick way. There are substitute drugs, and sometimes your doc may prescribe stuff for the side effects of withdrawal. A checkup is a good idea anyway, and if you have health problems besides addiction, do NOT skip the medical checkup.
Oh yes, some people claim to be successful at tapering. I am not one of them. There's a lot of talk at times about that here, in fact pretty recently on some of the threads. Read through as many of them as you can. You may find different ones have more appeal to you, with different personalities showing up on the different threads.
Most of all, keep posting. Keep asking questions. We have a lot of support to offer. We can't give you medical advice, but we can share our experiences and suggestions for what works and doesn't work for us.
Good luck!
FT
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Colorado
Posts: 23
Thanks for all the support that you have given me it feels great to have someone to talk who knows about addiction. I broke down last night when my wife kept waking up asking what was going on why I was in so much pain and sick to my stomach. If felt great to get the boulder of my back. Thanks without you I couldn't have done it. Coming up on 30 hours since I last used it sucks, but I know it is the best thing, and with the support of you I know I can do it. I have found that Imodium AD has been a life saver I'm taking double the dose which sucks, but anything right now will help. Work sucked, but not as bad as I thought moving around helped, people at work noticed, but I used I had the flu as a excuse that kept people away from my all day. I also used some kratom and that has also helped, but only taking the min. dosage. Also lots of Tylenol, and magnessium. I will continue the good fight and keep everyone posted. Sorry about being all over the place my mind is going crazy just need to get the first week down, and then deal with PAWS the worst part from what I can understand.
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Must be kismet Duke - I just noticed someone has posted the whole of the article I usually link to
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rome-paws.html
It's my understanding not everyone will experience PAWs - but the tips in this link for avoiding it, or lessening its effects, are good reading for everyone I think
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rome-paws.html
It's my understanding not everyone will experience PAWs - but the tips in this link for avoiding it, or lessening its effects, are good reading for everyone I think
D
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Day 3
It feels as im feeling the emotional parts now of really wanting to use. It is hard to tell my brain I dont need this crap. It seems to fight back with me. I say no and no then it subsides, but comes back fairly quickly. I guess just wait for some more time to pass, and it should get better. It just seems like it is so far away when counting the minutes thinking a hour has passed, and then I look up and it has been 10 minutes. I will continue to post mostly so I can get my thoughts out, and hope it helps someone someday. Lets see if I can get more than 2 hours of sleep tonight. Im really glad I had to work cause it makes me do something and keeps away from using.
P.S. I saw a quote on here that said "Defeat isn't failure failure is accepting defeat" That has helped me tremendously.
It feels as im feeling the emotional parts now of really wanting to use. It is hard to tell my brain I dont need this crap. It seems to fight back with me. I say no and no then it subsides, but comes back fairly quickly. I guess just wait for some more time to pass, and it should get better. It just seems like it is so far away when counting the minutes thinking a hour has passed, and then I look up and it has been 10 minutes. I will continue to post mostly so I can get my thoughts out, and hope it helps someone someday. Lets see if I can get more than 2 hours of sleep tonight. Im really glad I had to work cause it makes me do something and keeps away from using.
P.S. I saw a quote on here that said "Defeat isn't failure failure is accepting defeat" That has helped me tremendously.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi TheDuke84,
I'm shocked you can work on Day 3. I just got done posting a reply to lm on this forum about this very thing -- I think he's on Day 5.
The first 3-4 days are the worst. Set short term goals for yourself. The first few days, I did one hour at a time, especially in the middle of the night when I could not sleep. I couldn't believe how slowly time passed when I was sick, ants crawling all over my skin, too restless to hold still, too tired to sleep, dreaming while awake (I think that's called hallucinating), unable to eat, forcing fluids when I didn't want to but knowing I needed to. The stomach cramps and the lethargy were the worst. No, the insomnia and the restless legs. No, .... well, you know what I mean.
Hour by hour tonight and tomorrow. Then you're half way through the first week!
Most of all, make sure you have NO ACCESS to the drug, or you will use it. Do NOT fall for the "just this time" and take ANY opiates. All this hell you are going through only feels like a huge amount of time, when what is waiting for you is the rest of your life. I can easily say it now, and I know when I was going through it, I would have done almost anything to make it stop. I opiate-proofed my environment so I would not fail.
ALL of this is worth it. The "other side" of this when you will feel actually GOOD again instead of just "not sick", is worth it. It takes time. I sometimes tell people to "embrace" this crappy way you feel right now, because it means you are successfully detoxing. There is no short cut through this. Tapering did not work for me. I didn't want a substitute drug like subox, which would only have meant more and more doctor visits, and then another detox later on that would have been just as bad if not worse.
Decide what you want, then do it. If what you want is OFF this crap, this is how it's done. If you want a different route like subox, go do that, but only do a real medically supervised program, not street subs. But do it. Opiate addiction NEVER gets better. It only worsens, and it eats away at your resilience in ways you never even realized until after you go off.
Good luck. And keep going. This is the hardest day. It really is.
FT
I'm shocked you can work on Day 3. I just got done posting a reply to lm on this forum about this very thing -- I think he's on Day 5.
The first 3-4 days are the worst. Set short term goals for yourself. The first few days, I did one hour at a time, especially in the middle of the night when I could not sleep. I couldn't believe how slowly time passed when I was sick, ants crawling all over my skin, too restless to hold still, too tired to sleep, dreaming while awake (I think that's called hallucinating), unable to eat, forcing fluids when I didn't want to but knowing I needed to. The stomach cramps and the lethargy were the worst. No, the insomnia and the restless legs. No, .... well, you know what I mean.
Hour by hour tonight and tomorrow. Then you're half way through the first week!
Most of all, make sure you have NO ACCESS to the drug, or you will use it. Do NOT fall for the "just this time" and take ANY opiates. All this hell you are going through only feels like a huge amount of time, when what is waiting for you is the rest of your life. I can easily say it now, and I know when I was going through it, I would have done almost anything to make it stop. I opiate-proofed my environment so I would not fail.
ALL of this is worth it. The "other side" of this when you will feel actually GOOD again instead of just "not sick", is worth it. It takes time. I sometimes tell people to "embrace" this crappy way you feel right now, because it means you are successfully detoxing. There is no short cut through this. Tapering did not work for me. I didn't want a substitute drug like subox, which would only have meant more and more doctor visits, and then another detox later on that would have been just as bad if not worse.
Decide what you want, then do it. If what you want is OFF this crap, this is how it's done. If you want a different route like subox, go do that, but only do a real medically supervised program, not street subs. But do it. Opiate addiction NEVER gets better. It only worsens, and it eats away at your resilience in ways you never even realized until after you go off.
Good luck. And keep going. This is the hardest day. It really is.
FT
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Wowww FT. Reading you describe withdrawal just gave me the worst flashbacks, almost like I can remember exactly what it felt like. My mind hasn't gone to that place in a long time, I feel so good it's all a distant memory now. Like another life almost. Was that me? Yes it was. Thanks for the reminder.
Duke, push this through this anyway you can my friend. Don't give up. It really is so worth it.
Duke, push this through this anyway you can my friend. Don't give up. It really is so worth it.
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Thanks Failedtaper,
This is by far the worst day. I do have to say the Thomas Recipe has been a life saver. I dont feel great, but I'm getting by. That's the important part. Using more than recommended dosage of Immodium is a life saver it takes away 70% of the withdrawls. I fell when it wears off I just take more. I'm going to do it till day 5 then cut off. Just to get through the worst part. I told my boss what was going on he knew something was up. He told about his past,and that he had gone through a similar situation 10 years ago. It made it easier to be at work knowing he had my back. I seem to read these posts all night. When I'm setting there rubbing my legs back and forth. How long did the Restless legs last cause that is killing me. I already had restless legs from before this that was part of the reason I started them. After I broke my back in multiple spots it became more painful then my back. Last night I rubbed my feet raw litterly rubbed off skin and exposed a big section of my skin very painful. This is awful, but it is worth it cause if it wasn't it would to easy to go back.
P.S. I will not lose this battle I'm stronger then this. I have prayed, and God has given me the will to fight. I know part of it is mental. Cause when I get down the hell gets worse. Keeping up the good fight.
This is by far the worst day. I do have to say the Thomas Recipe has been a life saver. I dont feel great, but I'm getting by. That's the important part. Using more than recommended dosage of Immodium is a life saver it takes away 70% of the withdrawls. I fell when it wears off I just take more. I'm going to do it till day 5 then cut off. Just to get through the worst part. I told my boss what was going on he knew something was up. He told about his past,and that he had gone through a similar situation 10 years ago. It made it easier to be at work knowing he had my back. I seem to read these posts all night. When I'm setting there rubbing my legs back and forth. How long did the Restless legs last cause that is killing me. I already had restless legs from before this that was part of the reason I started them. After I broke my back in multiple spots it became more painful then my back. Last night I rubbed my feet raw litterly rubbed off skin and exposed a big section of my skin very painful. This is awful, but it is worth it cause if it wasn't it would to easy to go back.
P.S. I will not lose this battle I'm stronger then this. I have prayed, and God has given me the will to fight. I know part of it is mental. Cause when I get down the hell gets worse. Keeping up the good fight.
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Withdrawals suck, but the good thing is they have a point, a purpose, the crappy way we feel using, or freaking when we run out...HAS no point except to drag us deeper. Withdrawals are taking us to the good place, not the bad place, rough ride, worthwhile destination.
And we only have to do it ONCE.
And we only have to do it ONCE.
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Originally Posted by Threshold 
Withdrawals suck, but the good thing is they have a point, a purpose, the crappy way we feel using, or freaking when we run out...HAS no point except to drag us deeper. Withdrawals are taking us to the good place, not the bad place, rough ride, worthwhile destination.
And we only have to do it ONCE.
And we only have to do it ONCE.
Once is for dam sure!!!!!
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Another day almost done. The RLS is a bi**h. I cant handle this at times I want to tear my legs and feet off. I hope this isnt this bad for much longer I wish I knew how long it was going to last. I was able to eat a meal today other than pudding and crackers. Well if you call soup a meal that is LOL. Im still happy about my situation to quit. Keeping the good fight going.
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Congratulations on all your progress, theduke84! I'm sure you are noticing now that it does get better, though perhaps not soon enough. My anxiety is still coming on at night but finally is starting to get better. What you have been going through must be very difficult. So far you have shown incredible strength and self control. You will get through this and will soon be telling SR about how great it is to be free and in complete control. It truly is a wonderful feeling. Keep up the battle and keep us posted!
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Sup duke, I remember those first few nights with the damn legs, coming here trying to find any semblance of peace that I could. Here is the good news, if my counting is correct you are at day 5, you should be just about to round a corner here with primary withdrawals. The bad news is if you are anything like me, the challenge of staying off these things doesnt start until getting clean from them and learning a new life without them. Good luck my friend, keep posting here, this place helped save my life.
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Cant sleep the leg pain and nausea is real bad today the worst I have felt. It sucks. I haven't slept yet. Good thing there is no work for me tomorrow. I just want to scream, and cut my legs off.
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Originally Posted by Xyphen
Congratulations on all your progress, theduke84! I'm sure you are noticing now that it does get better, though perhaps not soon enough. My anxiety is still coming on at night but finally is starting to get better. What you have been going through must be very difficult. So far you have shown incredible strength and self control. You will get through this and will soon be telling SR about how great it is to be free and in complete control. It truly is a wonderful feeling. Keep up the battle and keep us posted!
Thanks for the support you have been helpful to me for sure. I'm so glad and proud that you are still keeping the good fight. I just talked to my Dad who is on day 45 sober of alchol, after drinking everyday for 23 years. I know how hard it is. It is the best thing you can do for your mind, body, and soul. Thanks for your encouragement and strength. Keep me posted on your status.
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Originally Posted by Tryin2Recover
Sup duke, I remember those first few nights with the damn legs, coming here trying to find any semblance of peace that I could. Here is the good news, if my counting is correct you are at day 5, you should be just about to round a corner here with primary withdrawals. The bad news is if you are anything like me, the challenge of staying off these things doesnt start until getting clean from them and learning a new life without them. Good luck my friend, keep posting here, this place helped save my life.
Thanks bro for the encouragement. I'm already mentaling have the urge to use. I almost took a oxycontin tonight it was so bad, but said no, and threw it out. Thank God I forgot I had one left. I dont need that **** around. Can you remember if the legs pain lasted for a week or was it longer. Thanks for the updates, cause I can't find anywhere on how long it takes. Congrats on staying sober.
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Another day down. Im having a huge urge to want to use. The main withdrawl is over, but I really wanting that feeling again. I really need some encouraging words. I might try one. Im thinking about smoking some herb. To get the mental anguish off. Please help on what worked.
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