57 days clean
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 132
57 days clean
Made it through Christmas and will soon start a new year clean and drug free. My Mom, sister,husband, and 2 kids were here 4 days. For the first time in many years I was able to participate and enjoy the entire time. Yes I am proud of myself and wanted to share with others who are working on recovery. Hope everyone is safe and have made in through the holidays. Back to work tomorrow. 57 days and counting.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 132
Thanks all who responded and "failedtaper" you are right I am not so lost anymore. When I started posting I was lost, didn't know who I was or could be, and wasn't sure I deserved to be found. What a difference a day makes. No what a difference 57 days make.
In retrospect, I started finding me at about day 40. The light was overtaking the dark, the mind was finding clarity and purpose and I found I was looking forward to the next step in recovery. Oh there were days and nights that I questioned I could really succeed this time. Relapse could have been my middle name. I'd been there so many times. I started each day singing Amazing Grace. I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see. AND what I see is a future. A future for my child, a future to make her world safe and secure to the best of my ability. I don't think for one minute I could do this without my Higher Power which for me is God and Jesus Christ, his son. So for today I'll not use and do something for someone in need of a supporting hand. Tomorrow I may need the supporting hand but I WILL not use.
In retrospect, I started finding me at about day 40. The light was overtaking the dark, the mind was finding clarity and purpose and I found I was looking forward to the next step in recovery. Oh there were days and nights that I questioned I could really succeed this time. Relapse could have been my middle name. I'd been there so many times. I started each day singing Amazing Grace. I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see. AND what I see is a future. A future for my child, a future to make her world safe and secure to the best of my ability. I don't think for one minute I could do this without my Higher Power which for me is God and Jesus Christ, his son. So for today I'll not use and do something for someone in need of a supporting hand. Tomorrow I may need the supporting hand but I WILL not use.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,677
Hi lostgirl25,
You have just put out the supporting hand with your post. Next time you look at the list of threads, just have a look at how many people read these threads, and this thread in particular, and you will see what I mean.
Keep up the good work, dear. You are an amazing woman and your child is very lucky to have you as a mom. You are now demonstrating the kind of behavior you want passed on to your child.
Happy New Year, dear.
FT
You have just put out the supporting hand with your post. Next time you look at the list of threads, just have a look at how many people read these threads, and this thread in particular, and you will see what I mean.
Keep up the good work, dear. You are an amazing woman and your child is very lucky to have you as a mom. You are now demonstrating the kind of behavior you want passed on to your child.
Happy New Year, dear.
FT
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 132
I'm now 64 days clean and life is good. This morning brought a new twist to my recovery. Yesterday I was offered a promotion with pay raise at work. My addiction has caused credit card debt and I have cut to bare essentials in my determination to become debt free within 24 months. This offer of pay raise brought with it more hours and responsibility. The addicted brain said take it without thinking. Last night I met with drug counselor and he reviewed my progress and medical doctor notes. Consensus from those involved in my recovery is I'm not ready and need to put recovery first and not set myself up for a relapse.
Today I talked with supervisor and will not be taking the new position. I won't get into all the soul searching I did last night but I know this is the right decision. In 6 months I'll be up for evaluation and I plan to be ready physically and mentally. I'm learning patience and self discipline and this is going to take a lot of work on my part. For today I will not use, I will work the steps, I will turn to my higher power, and I will support others who are struggling. Stay strong my SR friends. We will make 2012 a clean year.
Today I talked with supervisor and will not be taking the new position. I won't get into all the soul searching I did last night but I know this is the right decision. In 6 months I'll be up for evaluation and I plan to be ready physically and mentally. I'm learning patience and self discipline and this is going to take a lot of work on my part. For today I will not use, I will work the steps, I will turn to my higher power, and I will support others who are struggling. Stay strong my SR friends. We will make 2012 a clean year.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: South Milwaukee, WI.
Posts: 53
Good For You, it sounds like you found that light.
You did all the work to get there, and you should be very proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations you made it and figured it out...
You did all the work to get there, and you should be very proud of yourself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations you made it and figured it out...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Lexington Ky
Posts: 23
I can relate to your story its very inspirational to hear. Ive had a rough way to go in my recovery from oxys. I to am talking to a addiction counslor. I was just so ashamed about my addiction. You are in a much better place than I was at 64 days. I couldnt handle things like I could before my addiction Ive had to be honest about that so as not to set myself up for relapse. It is humbling. You are so on the right path.I hope to be able to keep up with your progress.
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